The Milli Vanilli Argument

On my way home from a long, wet, road trip, the Milli Vanilli hit, "Girl You Know It's True" popped up on an 80's mix CD that I recently made. While listening to the intro, it struck me just how absurd it was that anyone ever thought the two dreadlocked (Would you call them actors? Impostors?) characters ever actually sang on their hit album of the same name. Milli Vanilli could barely speak english. But we're supposed to think they can sing like english was their first language?

And then it hit me. We need to Milli Vanilli baseball's steroid era.

After Milli Vanilli were revealed as frauds, their 1990 Grammy Award for Best New Artist was revoked.

With its record book fraught with cheaters atop the most statistically recognizable category in sports, Major League Baseball needs to follow the National Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences lead.

Considering Mark McGwire's recent steroid admission, coupled with the indisputable evidence that Barry Bonds and Sammy Sosanospeakanoenglish were both roided up like Lyle Alzado in 1981, the top 6 home run hitting seasons in baseball history are as fake as Heidi Montag's boobs.

It's a disgrace to baseball and a disgrace to America that Roger Maris and Hank Aaron aren't officially recognized as the single season and all-time home run record holders respectively. Despite McGwire's claim that his "god given talent", and not the ample amount of steroids he consumed was solely responsible for the gaudy home run number he put up from 1996-1999, anyone aside from Rudy "We had no domestic attacks under Bush" Giuliani knows that's b.s.

McGwire's highest single season home run mark pre-roids was 49. Bonds' was 46. Sosaspeakanoenglish's was 40. They all didn't break 60 because they were able to stay healthy (McGwire's sole reason for roiding). They broke 60+ because they were stronger and they could see the ball better than anyone else.

Like Milli Vanilli before them, they all misled the public into thinking they were something they weren't.

And like Milli Vanilli, hopefully the day will come when they're all removed from the record books.