The Milli Vanilli Argument

On my way home from a long, wet, road trip, the Milli Vanilli hit, "Girl You Know It's True" popped up on an 80's mix CD that I recently made. While listening to the intro, it struck me just how absurd it was that anyone ever thought the two dreadlocked (Would you call them actors? Impostors?) characters ever actually sang on their hit album of the same name. Milli Vanilli could barely speak english. But we're supposed to think they can sing like english was their first language?

And then it hit me. We need to Milli Vanilli baseball's steroid era.

After Milli Vanilli were revealed as frauds, their 1990 Grammy Award for Best New Artist was revoked.

With its record book fraught with cheaters atop the most statistically recognizable category in sports, Major League Baseball needs to follow the National Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences lead.

Considering Mark McGwire's recent steroid admission, coupled with the indisputable evidence that Barry Bonds and Sammy Sosanospeakanoenglish were both roided up like Lyle Alzado in 1981, the top 6 home run hitting seasons in baseball history are as fake as Heidi Montag's boobs.

It's a disgrace to baseball and a disgrace to America that Roger Maris and Hank Aaron aren't officially recognized as the single season and all-time home run record holders respectively. Despite McGwire's claim that his "god given talent", and not the ample amount of steroids he consumed was solely responsible for the gaudy home run number he put up from 1996-1999, anyone aside from Rudy "We had no domestic attacks under Bush" Giuliani knows that's b.s.

McGwire's highest single season home run mark pre-roids was 49. Bonds' was 46. Sosaspeakanoenglish's was 40. They all didn't break 60 because they were able to stay healthy (McGwire's sole reason for roiding). They broke 60+ because they were stronger and they could see the ball better than anyone else.

Like Milli Vanilli before them, they all misled the public into thinking they were something they weren't.

And like Milli Vanilli, hopefully the day will come when they're all removed from the record books.

InLane in the Membrrane

Maybe Al Davis isn't the crazy old man everyone thought he was.

In September 2008 when Davis gave an impromptu press conference to announce he fired yet another head coach by saying, "I didn't hire the person I thought I was hiring", Davis came off like some creepy old guy with greased back hair, wearing a track suit, who was arguing the price of Grape Nuts at a grocery store check-out stand.

To make things worse, Davis insisted that he was firing the coach with cause (something even Isaiah Thomas failed to accomplish with the Knicks). On the surface, it appeared as if Davis was picking on a then 33-year-old wunderkind who didn't look old enough to shave. But now it seems like Davis was onto something.

Because that same coach Davis axed some 16 months ago has proven himself to be a big-talking little shit. The name of the aforementioned coach - Lane Kiffin.

Yes, the same Lane Kiffin,who ditched the Tennesse Volunteers football program, following a mediocre 7-6 season. The same Lane Kiffin who has somehow now spun his daddy's status as a legendary defensive guru into three of the most high-profile head coaching positions in football. And the very same Lane Kiffin who is going to sink U$C football.

Kiffin's short stay in Knoxville will be best remembered for making meritless recruiting violations against Florida coach Urban Meyer, and for popping off about singing 'Rocky Top' all night long after the Vols beat Florida (Tennessee lost 23-13).

While it's understandable that Vols fans are outraged, and dissapointed by Kiffin's quick betrayal of their beloved football program, it's important to put things in perspective. Kiffin is like the girlfriend who you find out is cheating on you with some douchebag that reeks of Axe Body Spray, has a collection of Ed Hardy shirts and probably frosted his tips during the late 90's/early 2000's. Your self esteem is partially shot. But you quickly realize that you're better off without that skank in your life, constantly putting you at risk of contracting herpes.

Granted, head football coach at U$C is arguably one of the top jobs in college football. Regardless, it's not like Tennessee is the Tila Tequila of college football. And to leave a school after just one year shows an utter disregard for the 70 plus young men Kiffin inherited and recruited at Tennessee.

Kiffin replaces Pete Carroll - someone who compiled one of the all-time great decade long runs in college football history. Carrol is an icon in U$C lore.

Ask yourself this - who replaced John Wooden at UCLA? Who took over for Bear Bryant at Alabama?

Chances are Kiffin becomes a trivia question like Gene Bartow and Ray Perkins.

And it will be well deserved.

Big Red Comes Clean

Throughout the entire baseball steroids scandal, fans have been subject to denials, flat out lies and sadly, very few honest moments from the accused players.

Mark McGwire's steroid admission Monday marked what appears to be one of the honest moments. After spending almost five years living in self-imposed exile, completely away from Major League Baseball, McGwire reemerged to set the record straight.

What started with a press release, quickly turned into an hour long live interview with Bob Costas on the MLB Network. McGwire tried to rationalize his steroid use to Bob Costas by saying he would have assaulted the record books with or without the roids. This is highly debatable because depending on the steroids McGwire used (he says he doesn't remember), there's substantial evidence connecting PED's to improved vision and fine tuning fast-twitch muscle fibers - two major factors when it comes to hitting a round ball hurling towards you at 90 + miles per hour.

For McGwire to think his numbers would stand regardless of the steroid use is like saying the Jackson 5 would have been famous without Michael.

It's worth noting that Big Mac dramatically overhauled his swing between his 1987 rookie season when he belted 49 home runs (he claims he was clean then), and 1996 when he started to hit bombs at ridiculous rates. McGwire shortened his swing and switched from a to a one-handed follow through. This undoubtedly provided a boost to his numbers.

Could McGwire have hit 50 plus home runs during the 98 season if he was clean? It's likely. But 70, followed by 65 in 1999 is absurd, and hasn't even been sniffed by a non-roider? Never.

But it's McGwire's genuine regret for using steroids that sets him apart from every other current and former player who has come clean. Obviously the implications for McGwire are much higher than say Shane Monahan.

At various times during his interview with Costas, McGwire either teared up, or openly cried. Even Pay-Fraud couldn't fake tears during his steroid admission. (He should have started dating that broad who starred in "Bride Wars" earlier) . This was McGwire being a human being who made a very real mistake. One that he clearly regrets.

To McGwire's credit, he isn't coming clean to hawk a book (Pete Rose, Jose Canseco), or because he's attention starved. His steroid admission has everything to do with his return to baseball as the Cardinals hitting coach. McGwire understands the distraction he could become and he's defusing the situation.

Even during his 2005 congressional testimony, McGwire was the only accused player aside from Canseco or spokesperson of the world, Curt Schilling, who didn't perjure himself (Rafael Palmeiro), or conveniently forget how to speak english (Sammy Sosanospeakatheenglish).

Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens would seemingly rather be married to Octomom than acknowledge they were roided out of their minds during their peak years. Manny Ramirez and David Ortiz continue to blame their positive steroid tests on unknowingly taking banned supplements. They are all liars and frauds.

McGwire always came across as a good guy. Along with Cal Ripken, McGwire played a very big part in helping repair the fractured relationship between baseball and the fans following the strike shortened 1994 season. That is something that cannot be ignored.

It took a big man to shatter Roger Maris' single season home run record in 1998.

It took a bigger man to admit he cheated.

Don't Let the Door...

Following yet another dismal season, the Seattle Seahawks have decided to blow the whole thing up.

In what appears to be a decision made within the last 24-48 hours, the Seahawks canned head coach Jim Mora Friday morning after just one year, and a 5-11 record.

Considering Mora gave a season ending press conference on Wednesday, the call to relieve Mora undoubtedly was made as other events are unfolding. Translation: Pete Carroll will be the introduced as the Hawks new head coach on Monday.

While Mora's firing comes as a surprise, it may have just been a case of expediting the inevitable. Despite their 5-11 record, the Hawks simply gave up on the football field on numerous occasions during the season.

Even on bad teams, you typically can single out a few bright spots on the roster. Not on the 2009 Seahawks. The offense sucked. The defense sucked. Special teams sucked.

The Hawks were so bad, that they couldn't even figure out how to lose enough games to get a top five draft pick. Fluke wins against Jacksonville and San Francisco were the only thing that prevented the Hawks from being a 3-win team.

And if you can honestly say that you're satisfied with a team that can only beat St. Louis and Detroit, then you might as well park yourself in front of a giant tube screen TV and spend the weekend watching "The Substitute 4: Failure Is Not An Option" on VHS.

Some will argue that Mora didn't get a fair shake. After all, former GM Tim Ruskell put together this crap roster, filled with overpriced free agents, washed up veterans and botched draft picks. Vince Lombardi couldn't have won with this team.

But it seems increasingly apparent that Mora talks a great game, and regularly fails to deliver. After getting the Atlanta Falcons within one win of a Super Bowl in 2004, Mora's teams have gone 20-28.

The disenchanted Seahawks fan base needed this firing. The organization had to fully break from the Mike Holmgren era. Bringing Mora in as Holmgren's heir apparent never made much sense.

It's like breaking up with a girlfriend, and keeping her younger, dysfunctional sister around for occasional hookups and awkward conversations. It might be fun a few times. But you quickly realize that you need to expunge yourself from the situation.

Give credit to Seahawks president Todd Leiweke who made the call to fire Mora. It was a bold decision to make. But one that will ultimately help bring the franchise back to respectability.

Another Year. More Arguments.

The selection process for the National Baseball Hall of Fame at times seems as arbitrary as the classy girls Ray J picks to transmit STD's with on "For the Love of Ray J 2".

Why certain players gain election over other players who on the surface appear equally, if not more deserving, has as much to do with a voting member's bias than anything else. Generally local writers vote for players they covered on a daily basis. Same goes for writers who grew up watching these players. Big name, big market players seem to attract more attention than smaller market players.

There really is no rhyme or reason for why a guy gets in on the first ballot, and why it takes other players 15 years, as we saw last year with Jim Rice.

Andre Dawson's election into the Hall of Fame Wednesday is proof as to how goofy the voting system is. Dawson has always been deserving of election into the Hall. His numbers have not changed one iota from the first time he was eligible. Dawson was the premier outfielder from the late 1970's and throughout the 1980's. His blend of power and speed is matched only by Willie Mays and Barry Bonds as the only other members of the 400 home run/300 stolen base club. Does Dawson deserve a spot in Cooperstown? Absolutely. Did he deserve it in 2002, his first year of eligibility? YES!

So for Bert Blyleven, Roberto Alomar, Jack Morris, Barry Larkin, Lee Smith, and maybe even Edgar Martinez, it's very likely that their time will come at some point over the next few years.

Unfortunately, they're at the whim of sportswriters who have way too much power over the election process.

How Baseball Super Star Fred McGriff only garners 21.5 percent of the vote is to me, an absolute farce. McGriff retired with 493 home runs. The Crime Dog was one of the top first basemen in both the American and National League. McGriff singlehandedly sparked the 1993 Braves to the NL West pennant, and he won a World Series with the Braves in 1995. Save for the strike in 1994, McGriff would surely have the 500 home runs that would grant him automatic admission into the Hall.

While sportswriters straddle their high horse over numbers inflated by performance enhancing drugs, there's little doubt, and even less evidence that McGriff ever used steroids. And yet McGriff's 116 votes were 12 less than Mark McGwire's 128.

It's clear that the voting process for the HOF is flawed. In fact, the only sensible thing to the voting is that retired players have up to 15 years of eligibility.

But almost always, the writers either re-examine a player that they've previously voted no for. Or they slowly die off, and new voting members are admitted and help sway the voting.

At the end of the day, the numbers will speak for themselves.