Stupid Money

It's that time of year when baseball general manager's start acting like Michael Jordan's sons on a Vegas bender. Ah yes, it's the annual Winter Meetings where all of baseball's movers and shakers convene on a supersized hotel to throw out millions upon millions at generally undeserving players. Recession, resmeshion. If you spent time on a major league roster last year and now find yourself a free agent, there's a good chance your bank account will have a few extra zeroes in it.

Newly minted Washington National Jayson Werth should thank his agent Scott Boras for netting him what will one day (maybe tomorrow) be viewed as one of baseball's worst contracts. How a player who has three good seasons under his belt, and at 32-years-old gets locked up for seven years and $126 million is so far gone, it makes one wonder if Nationals GM Mike Rizzo has a serious drug problem.

The Nats lost 93 games last year. There is no reason to believe they will contend in the near future. Their prized prospect Stephen Strasburg's arm exploded after a handful of big league starts. They just lost their main power source in Adam Dunn to the Chicago White Sox for less than half of what Werth will earn.

And it's not like the Nats haven't seen countless $100 million plus contracts that have backfired terribly. Starting with the $105 million contract the Dodgers handed pitcher Kevin Brown in 1999, the list of players in the $100 million club seems like a cautionary tale. Mike Hampton. Jason Giambi. Carlos Lee. Carlos Beltran. Vernon Wells. Alfonso Soriano. Barry Zito. Even my beloved Ken Griffey Jr. makes this list for contracts that fail miserably to offer any significant return on investment.

The money isn't even the biggest issue. Player's salaries inflate every year. The problem usually is the length of the $100 million contracts. What kind of numbers will Wells and Soriano put up in the final year of their deals in 2013 and 2014, respectively? It's almost as frightening as imagining what Heidi Montag's face will look like then.

But despite all the bad $100 million plus deals that have gone down since Kevin Brown's, franchises continue to pull out their checkbooks without hesitation. Because as long as owners continue to try t0 one-up each other with their overpriced trophies, players will continue to flock to the highest bidder and continue to put up underwhelming numbers for the money.

G-Men

It's seems fitting that on a day when Randy Moss, arguably the most selfish and petulant athlete in recent memory, gets jettisoned from his second team in less than a month, that one of the great teams (in the truest sense of the word) in recent memory wins the World Series.

The San Francisco Giants captured baseball's ultimate prize with a patchwork lineup, brilliant starting pitching and a lock down bullpen. It reads a lot more simple than it was

Give credit to Giants manager Bruch Bochy who somehow got a lineup full of overpaid, underperforming veterans to buy into a team concept. Guys like Aaron Rowand and Pablo Sandoval who have seen better days playing-wise could have been poison to a clubhouse. Instead, they embraced their roles as bench players, doing whatever they could to help their team win.

Even Aubrey Huff, a player known around the league as being a "bad clubhouse guy", seemingly came up with big hit after big hit, only to lay down a bunt in a key situation in Game 5 of the Series to move runners to second and third.

The Giants starting pitching completely stifled the best lineup in baseball. The trio of Tim Lincecum, Matt Cain and Madison Bumgarner submitted three classic World Series performances.

In other words, the Giants are an easy team to like. Catcher Buster Posey seems like he was put on this earth to be a big league catcher. Closer Brian Wilson, he of the absurd black beard that is the West Coast's answer to Jimmy McMillan from the Rent is Too Damn High Party, has entered the upper echelon of baseball firemen. And then there's Lincecum - the pot smoking hipster, who was passed over by nine teams because of fears his small frame would break down before the Giants selected him in the 2006 MLB Draft (The Mariners determined a drafting a diabetic pitcher would be a better choice).

In an era where many teams spend way too much time obsessing over OBP, pitch counts and UZR, the Giants went out and showed the country what real baseball looks like.

The Giants struck out a ton. They didn't get on base much either. But they hit bombs and were anchored by outstanding pitching. The object of the game is to score more runs than the other team. Not get more walks. The Giants understood this as well as any team.

Six teams made the 2010 postseason. The Giants easily had the weakest lineup of the six. Yet what set them apart was that every member on that team knew exactly what was expected of the them and they understood their roles.

And now they're World champs.

As for the Texas Rangers, I for one am relieved that they crashed and burned in the World Series.

The way I saw it, unless Justin Smoak became Albert Pujols 2.0 and lead the Mariners to a World Series title, the Cliff Lee to Texas deal would forever go down as one of the most lopsided in history.

It would go something like this - the Rangers got Lee and a World Series. The Mariners got Justin Smoak and a rapist. Terrible trade.

It's bad enough the Rangers even got to the Series. They can thank the Mariners for that. But as a great friend once told me, almost only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.

Come next April, Lee will be in pinstripes, and the Rangers lone World Series appearance will be a distant memory.

Wedgie

The Seattle Mariners introduced their fifth field manager since July 2007 on Tuesday.

At this point the M's have become the baseball equivalent of the guy who always, no matter where he is in his life, has to have a girlfriend. You know the guy - he was the first kid in school to have a girlfriend in 4th grade, and could never be alone after that. Some relationships were pretty brief (John McLaren, Jim Riggleman, Darren Brown). Others lasted a little longer (Don Wakamatsu). Overall, none seemed too spectacular. And at the end of the day, the guy was no better or no worse off after they ended.

So now we're left to speculate on how the Eric Wedge era will play out. The 2007 AL Manager of the Year inherits a team that set new lows in underachievement and character. Wedge managed his share of underachieving teams, and even more underachieving players (Travis Hafner, 2008 Franklin Gutierrez). It's safe to assume he knows the drill.

During his press conference, Wedge remarked how the current Mariners are much farther along in the rebuilding process than the 2003 Cleveland Indians team he took over. That team was far better offensively than the Mariners are (not a hard thing to do when Michael Saunders isn't swinging at every breaking ball in the dirt). The current Mariners hold a clear edge in starting and relief pitching (even counting Ryan-Rowland-Smith, who hopefully will be getting a one-way ticket on Qantas Airlines).

For what the Mariners lack in offense, they come close to making up for it in young, explosive arms. It's safe to assume M's GM Jack Zduriencik will ship off some of those arms this offseason for a couple bats.

If all goes well, Wedge should have enough to at least bring the team back to .500 baseball. Wedge comes off as someone who is pretty intense, and won't put up with any of the crap the divisive Chone Figgins pulled last year under Wakamatsu.

While Wedge doesn't have the big ticket appeal of Bobby Valentine, or the sentimental value of Joey Cora (still seems odd to me that he didn't even get an interview), he is only three years removed from having the Indians one win away from the World Series.

And if that's not enough, Wedge looks 62, not 42 (the mustache doesn't help). He also gets points for raiding Dwight Schrute's closet, and for being Tom Niedenfuer's twin brother who was separated at birth.

Madness

Mad Men's fourth season began with Don Draper avoiding answering questions about himself from an Advertising Age reporter. It ended with Draper still refusing to address his own personal demons.

In between, we bore witness to a man seemingly intent on self destructing. Draper dapples in S&M, functioning alcoholism, and even stooping to a level he previously denounced - bedding the secretary (he took down two).

Season Four as a whole is arguably the series most in-depth and well rounded. I could go on way too long, detailing every episode. But I'll spare you.

What's driving me nuts is Sunday night's season finale. The episode starts with Don in bed, telling his new woman, Dr. Faye Miller, that he has a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. The lovely Faye encourages Don to come to terms with his past. The scene ends with a typical Draper make-out sesh, followed by him telling Faye that he's going to miss her while he's in L.A. with his kids.

Next thing you know, Draper is in L.A. with his kids, and defenseless secretary number 2 - Megan. And what d'ya know? Draper yet again seduces her. (Or maybe she seduced him with that french lullaby she used on his kids?)

Flash forward to Draper's West Village Bro Pad. Draper's in bed with the French seductress (and her oversized veneers). Out of nowhere, he tells her he loves her and proposes!

So Draper the hypocrite (remember Draper's disgust when the Silver Fox married his secretary?) continues to hide from his past. The French seductress is slightly smarter the Betty, but nowhere near as intelligent as Faye. (She's a doctor after all. But not a real one, according to Don).

Just when you think Draper is making major strides in his life, he goes ahead and does something ridiculously stupid.

I lay the majority of the blame for this abomination on Betty. If Betty didn't possess the maturity of a 10-year-old, then Carla would have joined Don and the children to L.A., as planned.

Does that mean we'd be looking forward to a Don and Carla wedding for next season? Hmmm...

Regardless, the finale was as shocking to me as last season's Dexter stunner. I keep telling myself this has to be a dream. But my Sopranos plot twists don't carry over to other series.

Faye (who coincidentally played Chrissy's wife on The Sopranos) was such a great character. A strong career woman who challenged Don is only good ways. Why does she have to leave Why? Why? Why!!!!!!!

What do you guys think?

Postseason Picks

I'm just getting ready to head out to the Safe for Game One of the ALDS...

Oh wait. My grandiose delusions have gotten the best of me once again.

Regardless, the 2010 postseason has the makings of something special. On display will be five of the best pitchers in the world (Roy Halladay, Tim Lincecum, Cliff Lee, CC Sabathia, David Price), along with four of the best rookies to come along in some time (Buster Posey, Jason Heyward, Neftaili Feliz, Aroldis Chapman). And what would the postseason be without the New York Jankees?

Here are my quick picks for Octember.

ALDS

Rays over Rangers - The Rangers have been a chic pick to go all the way. Since when did chic mean a iffy pitching staff after everyone not named Cliff Lee? Keep in mind that the Rangers went 21-6 in June and were a .500 team the rest of the way.

Yankees over Twins - Yes, the Yanks starting rotation is a mess after CC. But that lineup doesn't quit and the Twins starting rotation is no sure thing. Carl Pavano and the Yankees don't mix.

NLDS

Phillies over Reds - This will be quick and easy. Halladay. Hamels. Oswalt. Unless Johnny Cueto starts kung fu fighting again and takes out Ryan Howard, Chase Utley and Jayson Werth, this series will be over in 3.

Giants over Braves - The Giants will ride the trio of Lincecum, Cain and Sanchez in what should be a classic 5 games series.

ALCS

Rays over Yankees - The Rays are too balanced to lose this series. They don't have the Yankees offensive firepower. But their pitching, speed and defense will be too much for the Bombers.

NLCS

Phillies over Giants - Another classic in the making. While the Phillies hold a slight edge in starting pitching, there is a huge discrepancy between offenses. The Giants don't have any game changing sluggers, and Buster Posey is untested in the playoffs.

World Series

Phillies over Rays - A repeat of the 2008 Fall Classic. And we'll have a repeat in the results. Again we go back to the Phillies vaunted starting 3. It's too much for any team to handle. Even Brad Lidge can't screw this up.

Those classy Phillies fans will be puking all over each other with their second World Series title in three years.

Shattered Dreams

Wake up, Mariners fans. Your nightmare is over. Six months of the most god awful baseball one could imagine is thankfully kaput.

Even the most pessimistic pundits couldn't have imagined the Mariners crapping out another 101-loss albatross. The simple explanation for this disaster is that everything that could have gone wrong, went wrong. The hitters didn't hit. The relief pitchers didn't pitch. Don Wakamatsu didn't manage. Needless to say, the Mariners 2010 campaign is the most confounding season I've ever witnessed as a sports fan.

Rewind (as I did yesterday on my DVR) to the Mariners final game from last October. The magical 85-win season was capped off by a victory lap/Griffey lovefest that left every person in Safeco Field confident that the Mariners were headed on the right track. For the first time since Lou Piniella, the Mariners had a competent manager. Even more impressive was their new general manager, Jack Zduriencik, didn't insist in signing his name with crayons, or trading for players that peaked in 2003.

The prevailing thought was if the M's could make a few tweaks, they would add 5-10 wins t0 the 2009 total. And if that could happen, then you're talking playoffs. Good times, indeed.

So with that in mind, all Zduriencik did was trade spare parts for Cliff Lee, arguably the best pitcher in baseball at the time, coming off a memorably dominant postseason with the Philadelphia Phillies. Then Zduriencik shrewdly signed the pesky Chone Figgins away from the division rival Anaheim Angels of Tarzana. On paper the Mariners had the best 1-2 pitching combo in baseball with Lee and Felix Hernandez, along with the top two leadoff hitters in baseball at the top of their lineup in Ichiro and Figgins. We were well on our way.

Zduriencik addressed the hole in left field by trading Carlos Silva, his bloated contract, and his even more bloated waistline to the Cubs for Milton Bradley. Sure, Bradley was batshit crazy, but he also led the AL in OPS in 2008. From a talent perspective, this was like trading Jason Mraz for Billy Joel.

While the M's let 2009 home run leader Russell Branyan walk, citing his chronic back problems, his replacement, Casey Kotchman, appeared to be a much better contact hitter than Branyan. And like Branyan, a player who seemingly just needed a chance to thrive.

The only other notable defection from the 2009 squad was Adrian Beltre. But Beltre missed over 50 games in 2009 with a myriad of injuries. My personal fave was his stint on the 15-day DL for a "severely bruised testicle". While Beltre's glove proved invaluable, his .683 OPS didn't seem like a big hurdle to overcome.

The offense was never touted as a force. It didn't need to be. With the stellar pitching and defense from 2009, all the Mariners bats needed to do was put up 4-5 runs a game. It seemed so simple. Until it wasn't.

Well, we all know what happened next. In short, it goes something like this.

-Cliff Lee got hurt
-Eric Byrnes turned in arguably the worst month in baseball history
-Milton went crazy
-Junior took a nap
-Junior went on a permanent road trip
-Lee got traded
-Figgins tried to fight Wak
-Wak got canned

The only players on the entire roster who performed up to expectations were Felix and Ichiro. Call it bad luck. Call it bad personnel moves. Call it whatever.

The fact of the matter is there was a 2010 baseball season. The Mariners just didn't bother showing up for it.

I've heard people talk about how winning and losing are both contagious. After witnessing the Mariners 2009 and 2010 seasons, I'd say I agree with that statement. Taking that into consideration, it's pretty clear that the 2010 Mariners had a raging case of herpes.

Going Solo

I've long hoped that disgraced Grey's Anatomy cast member Isiah Washington would return in a cameo appearance to methodically gun down every blubbering character on that joke of a TV show. (Coincidentally enough, I'm told such a scenario, sans Isiah Washington, took place for this past season's finale. The gunman didn't kill any whiners though. So no luck there).

While watching Sunday night's Entourage Season 7 finale, I found myself hoping for Isiah Washington to bust through the door, guns blazing, only to put a fulfilling end to a completely unfulfilling season.

Entourage has gone from being a bro's answer to Sex and the City to a bra's answer to Grey's. Entourage is now a 30 minute melodrama that features more cameo appearances than The Love Boat.

Things have gotten so bad that Billy Walsh, once the most maddeningly obnoxious character on the show (actually Dom was worse), has become the lone bright spot.

Season 7 started with Vince having an on-set stunt accident, and ended with him in a hospital, badly beaten (by Eminem no less), in denial about his burgeoning drug problem, and possibly facing jail time after a cop finds his cocaine filled goody bag.

Literally every episode this season was so painfully bad that it became laughable. Real-life pornstar Sasha Grey as Vince's love interest? Turtle desperately trying to hawk tequilla for the affection's of A.J. Sopranos ex-fiance? Ari becoming a pariah for being Ari?

It's almost like the show's writers are purposely trying to see how stupid they can make the each episode.

Even Bob Odenkirk, who so masterfully plays sleazebag lawyer Saul Goodman on the phenomenal Breaking Bad, has gotten sucked into the Entourage abyss as Mark Cuban's... business manager? (Sidenote: Why does Mark Cuban all of a sudden have a Texas accent? He's from Pittsburgh.) (Additional Sidenote: Cuban should have been banned from TV shows following The Benefactor. This speaks volumes as to how far Entourage has fallen).

In 1986, Dallas answered for a dud of a season by saying it was all a dream. While fans were understandably upset that they wasted an entire season on nothing, they were glad the show had returned to it's winning formula.

Hopefully Entourage Season 7 is Vinny Chase's bad dream.

That's really the only explanation to a season that featured a Jordan Farmar cameo. Because at this rate, Fat Lever's phone could be ringing for a Season 8 guest spot as Turtle's new love interest.

Gone Wak

The best way to describe Don Wakamatsu's season and a half as the Seattle Mariners manager is that it was a torrid love affair that ended almost as quickly as it started.

Nobody could have predicted the Mariners would be struggling to avoid their second 100-loss season in three years. Nobody could have predicted Don Wak's swift demise either. Considering that absolutely nothing has gone right for the 2010 Mariners, it almost seems like a necessary evil for Wak to have to face the guillotine.

The Mariners now have their fifth field manager since July 2007. That number will surely become six at some point in October or November when interim manager Daren Brown is notified by M's GM Jack Zduriencik that his services will no longer be needed.

Many will opine that Wakamatsu had been managing on borrowed time ever since Ken Griffey Jr. bid adieu on June 2 (Black Wednesday). We'll probably never know the full story about what happened between Wak and Junior during Junior's final few weeks on the team. There obviously was some sort of communication breakdown.

The Griffey situation became more uncomfortable than your parents sexting. And when it finally culminated, it very clearly left the clubhouse alienated from Wakamatsu. Adding fuel to the fire was dugout scuffle between Chone Figgins and Wakamatsu that all but confirmed Wak had lost the team.

Along with determining in-game strategy, Wakamatsu's job as manager was bring out the best in his players on the field. That happened in 2009. But whatever Wak did in 2009, either didn't translate in 2010, or he simply changed as a manager.

Only Ichiro and Felix Hernandez have performed up to expectations. That means that every other player who's donned a Mariners uniform this year has failed. That's some pretty impressive futility.

A little continuity on the Mariners and Jack Z's part would have been nice. After last year's remarkable turnaround, it would have been reasonable to give Wak another shot at trying to repair his strained relationship with his players.

But Jack Z obviously felt otherwise.

Make no mistake, unlike most bumbling Mariners managers, Wakamatsu is incredibly bright and he hopefully will get another chance to manage a big league team. Don Wak deserves as much.

What Went Wrong?

At the MLB halfway mark, the Seattle Mariners season is more dead than Mel Gibson at a Lilith Fair concert. What looked like a team primed for a postseason run has turned into yet another rebuilding effort for a franchise that hasn't reached the playoffs since 2001.

Everyone knew that the Mariners would struggle to score runs. And while they have, few could have predicted the M's would have this much trouble. Getting the Mariners to put runs on the board has become the baseball equivalent to getting George Michael to stop crashing his car. It only happens on rare occasions.

What makes the Mariners 2010 season even more frustrating is that every single regular sans Ichiro has underperformed. Add Chone Figgins to the unimpressive list of Mariners free agent signees who screwed the pooch in northwest green and navy blue. Casey Kotchman seemed primed to finally fulfill the potential that made him a top prospect for the Angels. What he's shown proves why he's on his third team in less than a year. Milton Bradley was supposed to recapture his 2008 All-Star numbers, but all he's done is have a mental breakdown and struggle to keep his average above .200. The list goes on and on.

GM Jack Zduriencik made a surprise winner of the 2009 team by unearthing talent that other organizations had given up on. While it looks like Jack Z overplayed his hand by applying the same strategy on the 2010 squad, nobody could have predicted such offensive ineptitude.

Nobody expected Ken Griffey Jr. to hit 35 plus home runs as the Mariners designated hitter. But nobody could have foreseen Griffey hitting .184 with no home runs and retiring in a huff.

Griffey serves as a microcosm for the M's season thus far. Hoping for the best. Getting the worst.

But for all the commotion over how bad the offense has been, the achilles heel for the Mariners season has been the bullpen. The offense was intended to put 3-5 runs up per game, while the starting pitching, stellar defense and lockdown bullpen would take care of the rest. The offense is a big issue. The major issue and the primary reason why M's fans are suffering at record high rates (OK, just me), is the bullpen, stupid.

M's relievers have a 4.81 ERA. Good enough for worst in the American League. They are tied for the league lead with 13 blown saves. If the bullpen did what it was supposed to do, then you're looking at a team that's very close to .500, instead of 18 games under. Everyone in the pen from closer David Aardsma to mop up guys like Garrett Olson have sucked beyond belief. Throw in setup man Brandon League who routinely quits on the mound, and you've got a real problem.

Luckily, a bullpen is the easiest thing to restock and revamp. The Mariners have enough live arms in their minor league system that it's hard to imagine the pen being a problem going forward.

This brings us to last week's Cliff Lee trade, aka raising the white flag. Lee had to go because the Mariners stand a better chance of resigning John Olerud next offseason than they do Cliff Lee. To let Lee leave via free agency for two of the Yankees (Lee replaces Andy Pettitte who will retire after the Yanks win the Series) draft picks would have been ridiculously irresponsible on Zduriencik's part.

But Jack Z is a master dealer and he brilliantly struck a trade with division rival Texas for Lee. Even with Lee, the Rangers aren't going to the World Series. So while this trade strengthens the Rangers in the short term, it undoubtedly weakens them long term as they gave up their starting first baseman in Justin Smoak, along with three pitchers.

All indications are that Smoak will has a great career ahead of him. But he's a prospect. Casey Kotchman was a prospect too. So was Jose Lopez. Let's hope Smoak's path diverges from theirs.

What can't be denied is that what the Mariners got in return for Cliff Lee was far better than what they gave up (kinda hard not to do considering they gave up a kid who's hearing impaired, and a French Canadian selected by former GM - high functioning retard Bill Bavasi).

With the trading deadline just two weeks away, one could assume the Mariners will start trading any usable parts. But the sad truth is that right now Lopez Aardsma and whoever else you want to throw in that pack aren't worth more than a couple A, or AA fringe prospects.

George Steinbrenner's passing on Tuesday got me thinking about the cost of building a winner. The Yankees are seemingly in the playoffs every year thanks to their never ending payroll. Yes, they've wasted ridiculous amounts of money on players like Raul Mondesi, Gary Sheffield and Carl Pavano. But their recent signings of Mark Teixiera, CC Sabathia and A.J. Burnett, along with trades to obtain Curtis Granderson, Javier Vasquez and Nick Swisher have not only made the Yankees a better team, but also far younger.

The Yankees, along with the Red Sox spend money to make money. They've had competitive teams every year for the last 15 years. It makes for a great story when a team like the San Diego Padres, whose entire payroll is barely more than what Alex Rodriguez earns in a season, is leading the NL West. But the Padres, along with every other mid to small market team is going to have some good years and some bad years (unless you're the Royals, Pirates or Orioles and you always suck).

As long as the Mariners organization remains intent on spending just enough to give the impression that they're trying to put a competitive product on the field, there is no reason to believe the M's will be anything more than a team that produces a few solid years, mixed in with some really crappy ones.

Throw together some terribly poor performances on the field with the Mariners front office's refusal to up their payroll, and you've got what will ultimately be the fifth losing season out of the last seven in Seattle.

And that's Mariners baseball 2010.

Witness Protection

The LeDouche James free agency melodrama that ultimately culminated in his decision to um...take his talents to South Beach has created all sorts of reactions throughout the country. Cleveland fans are understandably irate, while the incredibly loyal Miami Heat fan base is beside itself. Everyone else seems to accept LeDouche for what he is - a phony who can now never be considered an all-time great player. Hurricane LeDouche tore through Cleveland at a ferocity not seen since the Browns left in 1996.

The issue is that LeDouche played Cleveland, the Cavs, and every team that courted him into thinking that they stood any chance of signing him. LeDouche has known for some time that he wasn't going to be playing in Cleveland long term. Why else would he force his way into free agency?

But instead of being a man and coming out and saying it, LeDouche lead everyone on like the hot girl in high school who starts getting rides from the poor schmuck who just got his driver's license.

The Cavs organization bent over backwards to put together a team of player's that could complement LeDouche. When he needed a point guard, they snatched up Mo Williams. When he needed some muscle after Dwight Howard manhandled the Cavs, they brought in the Shaqtus. When they desperately needed an all-star power forward to help them get over the hump in this year's playoffs, they made a deal deal for Antawn Jamison. And lest we forget about the humanitarian effort the Cavs made when they found a lover for LeDouche's mother.

Nobody understands what Cleveland's going through better than Seattle sports fans. We lost Randy Johnson, Ken Griffey Jr. and Alex Rodriguez in a 29-month span. But aside from losing a great player, we lost and ENTIRE FRANCHISE! (Yes, I know Cleveland lost the Browns temporarily. Seattle is not getting a NBA team in the next 10 years). Now Seattle is known as the best soccer city in America (yay!). Beat that.

LeDouche has received considerable praise for leaving $30 million on the table to sign with Miami. So in that regard, his situation is similar to Junior's. But Junior didn't force his way to the Yankees (or as my grandma's Puerto Rican care taker says, "the Jankees"). He forced his way to Cincinnati so he could be closer to his family. Instead of leaving home like LeBron, Junior went home.

Yet the overall feeling I get from this deal is reminiscent of Pay-Fraud's $252 million payday that followed months of Pay-Fraud talking about how much he loved Seattle and wanted to stay there. The Pay-Fraud deal was solely driven by money. LeDouche clearly is not. But the way both athletes carried themselves and put on a front for fans and other organizations is eerily similar.

Almost ten years later, Pay-Fraud still remains one of the most despised player's in baseball. Ten years from now, don't be surprised if LeDouche is held in the same regard.

A New Crown

Sports Illustrated runs a blurb in every issue called "Sign of the Apocalypse". It's aptly titled considering you'll see something like, "A Philadelphia woman refused to go to the hospital after going into labor during an Eagles game".

I fear that next week's "Sign of the Apocalypse" will be viewership for LeBron James' free agency special was higher than the State of the Union.

Now I must admit, LeBron has expertly milked his free agency for two years. The only thing missing is that he didn't offer his press conference on pay-per-view. I haven't been so anxious to hear an announcement since the classic Ruben vs. Clay battle in 2003.

Part of my anxiety stemmed from the uncertainty that live TV brings. ESPN devoted an entire hour in prime time for LeBron. I was hoping to see World Wide Wes perform a solo tap dance. Maybe even a couples interview like they do on "The Bachelor" with Delonte West and Gloria James.

In the end, LeBron chose Tony Montana over Joe the Plumber. Is that such a crime? You'd need a psych eval if you chose to live in Cleveland over Miami. But when you consider that LeBron is an Ohio native and the only thing keeping Cleveland afloat economically, it really makes you wonder how LeBron could leave.

The irony of this is that even with LeBron, the Lakers are still better than the Heat (the Celtics might be as well). Not only does the Lake Show feature a far deeper roster, but they have a better power forward than Chris Bosh in Pau Gasol, a LeBron stopper in Ron Artest and Kobe, who regardless of what the "experts" say, is the best player in the NBA.

LeBron now becomes the most hated basketball player outside of Miami. So along with his new team and his new city, I propose a new name - LeDouche.

Trading Places?

After my month-long moratorium on blogging following the dagger to the heart of my 2010 Mariners dream season, I figure it's time to switch gears.

The NBA free agent frenzy will hopefully move from rampant speculation to legitimate decision making in the coming days. The balance of power could shift to a super team that features a combination of LeBron James, Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh. Or we could see James and Wade stay put, with Bosh floating around as the wild card.

For the Cleveland's sake, it would be great to see LBJ stay put. But if LeBron does decide to bolt, the National Weather Center should create "Hurricane LeBron". The nightly news will show chopper shots of Clevelanders standing on their roofs, begging to be rescued. Cleveland will immediately become Detroit 2.0 and we'll see another Midwestern city go down for the count.

LeBron's legacy would also be greatly enhanced for showing loyalty to Cleveland. He's let this entire free agency hoopla take on a life of its own solely for his ego's sake. He could have signed an extension with Cleveland at any point. But James chose this path. It's hard to imagine his defection going over well with anyone except those who root for whatever team he potentially ends up with. King James could easily become the NBA's answer to Alex Rodriguez.

D-Wade's situation doesn't have nearly as much riding on it as LeBron's. While Wade is undeniably one of the Top 5 player's in the league, the city of Miami is not nearly as dependent on him. (They survived Bimbo Coles being traded, so they'll get by). And even more importantly, Wade peacing out would leave the Heat with just Michael Beasley and Mario Chalmers under contract. This would ultimately have to be made into a reality show called "Mario and The Bease", featuring the two hot boxing the Heat locker room while they openly mock Pat Riley's hair. Riveting TV.

What's gotten lost under all this free agent madness is how financially inept most NBA GM's are. Unless you put a value on pouty power forwards who can't rebound or defend, Amare Stoudamire is not worth $100 million. Nor is Joe Johnson worth anywhere near $120 million.

Why a franchise like the Hawks that is perennially bad (even their "good" teams of the mid-eighties couldn't get past the Eastern Conference Semis) feels compelled to give dole out $120 million to a guy who averages slightly north of 20 points a game, while struggling to shoot 45 percent from the floor is Example A of what's wrong with the NBA.

There are maybe 10-15 players in the NBA that aren't replaceable. If you play fantasy basketball then you understand that statement. What it basically boils down to is that 90 percent of NBA players will put up good numbers if given enough minutes. There are a few select player's whose production simply can't be replicated. But otherwise the parity is astoundingly similar. It's not coincidental that Flip Murray averaged over 20 PPG for the 2003-2004 Sonics when Ray Allen opened the season on the injured list. Flip got the minutes. Flip filled up the box score. Simple as that.

LeBron, D-Wade and Chris Bosh are three of the best in the league. Wherever they land, and where they don't, will be greatly affected for years to come.

The Goodbye Kid

There's usually no way to know when your childhood ends. You get a job. You get married. You have kids. Probably somewhere in there. But for thousands of people who grew up watching Ken Griffey Jr., their childhood ended June 2, 2010.

It's impossible to overstate what Junior means to Seattle or to baseball. The 630 career home runs and the 13 All-Star Games don't even scratch the surface. Defensively, Willie Mays is the only other centerfielder who can compare. Offensively, Junior's swing is one of the most fluid things I've ever seen. The guy was born to play baseball.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, I'd rather watch Junior strike out than see any other player hit a home run.

Many will lament about how injuries ravaged Junior's career. But doing so completely disrespects Griffey's legacy. Even with the injuries, Junior put together one of the greatest careers in baseball history. And in an era where his most of his contemporaries have been linked to performance enhancing drugs, Griffey stands among few who can honestly say that they played the game the right way.

A number of people have told me that they don't love anything as much as I love Junior. While I realize my passion for all things Griffey is a little intense, I'd like to think it's more a result of falling in love with baseball at the exact time that Griffey started his career. To have the best player in the world playing in your city as you're growing up is an incredible gift.

Seattle has seen it's share of great athletes. But Junior is the only one who was the absolute best in his respective sport.

I'm lucky enough to say I saw Junior's last home run and his last hit. I am beyond grateful to have literally hundreds of Griffey moments that replay in my mind on a daily basis. But the best part about those moments is that I got to share everyone of them with my family and my best friends.

This season did not go as planned. The Mariners were supposed to contend, and Griffey was supposed to provide some pop to a lineup that couldn't rely solely on Rob Johnson's potent bat. But in a tragically ironic way, it's a fitting end for a player whose career did not go as planned.

Even as the season continued to unfold at frustrating levels, I still maintained that I had 50 games in me. I could handle Griffey as a glorified pinch hitter. Having Junior in the stadium provided a sense that you could see something special. Now I'm not sure if I have ten more games in me.

Baseball just doesn't seem as much fun anymore.

Where Do We Go From Here?

Let's face it. The Seattle Mariners 2010 season looks about as good as Mangie Mentink's haircut.

Two months into the season and the M's simply can't get it together. They've wasted brilliant starting pitching performances with the lethal combo of zero offense and inept relief pitching. If it weren't for the other three AL West teams intent on playing mediocre baseball, the Mariners season would already be over.

The M's are eight games out of first with 3/4 of the season remaining. If they could only start firing on all cylinders, they potentially could put together a great June and get right back in the race.

Chone Figgins, Jose Lopez and Casey Kotchman all can't suck this bad. Once their bats get going, one could assume that would equate into more wins. Right?

But for all the play the Mariners offense has gotten for being so Heidi Montag, the bigger issue has been the Spencer Pratt-esque relief pitching. Mariners relief pitchers are responsible for 13 of the teams 30 losses. That is simply unacceptable.

Brandon League surrendered two game-winning grand slams in May. In both situations, he gave up on the mound. While League's mullet and giant neck tat seem interesting, the guy needs to stop making love to the pooch in key situations. Unless League has some sort of Hawaiian witch doctor thing going on and he knew that Kendry Morales would fracture his leg celebrating his walk-off grand slam, there's absolutely no excuse why a guy who locates a mid-90's fastball can't get hitters out regularly in clutch situations. As it stands now, League's biggest contribution as a Mariner could be giving up the bomb that lead to Morales busting his leg. That pretty much ended the Angels season.

And maybe that's how the M's will get back into this thing. Maybe one night Josh Hamilton returns to his hotel room and finds a giant bowl of blow on his bed? That will end the Rangers season. The A's aren't very good to begin with, so they will surely play their way out of contention. Before you know it, the M's will be atop the AL West.

In all seriousness, the Mariners are a few more losses from having the season end in June. But they're also a few wins from getting a stay of execution.

And if all else fails, there's always Brandon League.

The End?

During the 1994 season, the Minnesota Twins, managed by 12-year old Billy Haywood stood at a crossroads with their aging slugger and Twins legend Jerry Johnson.

Following a Johnson single that got Haywood particularly hopeful for a Johnson revival, bench coach Mac Macnally turned to Haywood and said, "Son, don't you think there's something wrong when you get this excited over a seeing-eye single?"

After the game, Haywood made the excruciatingly painful decision to inform Johnson that the Twins were releasing him. An irate Johnson forcefully told Haywood, "You're making a big mistake. I'm not through yet. I'm gonna catch on somewhere. And when I do, I'm gonna come back here and I'm gonna stick it RIGHT IN YOUR FACE."

Fast forward to 2010 and the Seattle Mariners seemingly have a similar situation on their hands. Ken Griffey Jr., the greatest athlete in Seattle sports history and the singular reason why there's even a baseball team in Seattle, is struggling mightily. At 40, Junior can't hit, can't field, and the revelation that Junior was sound asleep during Saturday's 4-3 extra innings loss to the Los Angeles Angeles of Orange County has lead to speculation that Junior's days as a professional baseball player are about to end abruptly.

This is certainly not what the Mariners and Griffey envisioned when they mutually decided to re-up for the 2010 season. While Griffey didn't hit for average in 2009, he still finished third on the team in home runs, and provided countless game changing and game winning hits for a squad that exceeded everyone's expectations. And when you factor in the final week of the 2009 when Junior blasted 3 home runs over the Mariners final six games, there was hope to think he could at least repeat his 09 performance.

But five weeks into the season, Griffey has zero home runs, five RBI's, and only two extra base hits. When he's not grounding out to second, he's either getting fooled on breaking balls in the dirt, or taking good pitches that he used to send into orbit.

The sleeping incident is a microcosm of how the Mariners season has gone so far in 2010. Save for Ichiro and Franklin Gutierrez, the entire offense might as well be sleeping in the clubhouse during games.

This team was supposed to contend. They were supposed to have enough hitting to complement their stellar pitching staff and lock down defense. But the offense has been so monumentally putrid that any chance of the M's team playing in October could realistically be erased in the next ten days.

The Griffey dilemma is confounding for more reasons than just the obvious fan backlash that would occur if the M's released him or encouraged him to retire. Are the Mariners prepared to have 'Griffey Backwards Cap Night' on July 8 and not have Griffey on the team?

Since almost the entire offense sucks just as much, if not more than Griffey does right now, there really isn't anyone who could replace Junior and be considered an upgrade. There isn't a masher in AAA just waiting for his chance to crack the 25-man roster. And if you think Mike Sweeney is an option, then you probably also think Sarah Palin should be president.

Griffey deserves to go out how he wants to go out and on his terms. Junior is not brain damaged like Evander Holyfield who seems intent on dying in the boxing ring. Griffey doesn't need to play for a pay check or to guarantee Hall of Fame enshrinement. He's still playing because he loves the game as much as anyone and he feels like he can still contribute.

What happens next is anyone's guess. If the Mariners and Griffey can start hitting and start winning some baseball games, this will all be forgotten. If not, Griffey could always go the Jerry Johnson route.

After Johnson failed to make good on his threat to stick it in the Twins' face, he was immediately hired as the team's hitting coach following a crushing defeat to the Mariners in a one-game playoff tie breaker.

And who hit the game-winning homer for the Mariners?

Ken Griffey Jr.

Heaven I Need A Hug

When the Mariners swindled the Cubs this past December into taking Fats Silva for Milton Bradley, everyone agreed that GM Jack Zduriencik pulled off yet another brilliant heist. Silva's real market value was akin to a $5 gift certificate from Arby's. To get an All-Star caliber player for a pitcher who spent his first two seasons in Seattle buying up large quantities of Double Stuff Oreos with the $48 million former special needs child GM Bill Bavasi gifted him seemed unthinkable. (And just you wait Cubs fans, despite his good start, Silva is getting nice and plump to start posting lines that look like this : 2/3 IP, 8 hits, 10 ER, 4BB, 0 K's).

Sure, the knock on Bradley is that he's a walking time bomb, ala Britney Spears circa 2007-2008, but that's still infinitely better than Fats Silva requiring daily retrofitting of the clubhouse bench.

Unlike Kanye West and Ron Artest, the two people Bradley recently compared himself to, Bradley's actions genuinely seem to be in earnest. Kanye and Artest are all show, little substance. Milton simply cares too damn much. And that's what makes Bradley's cry for help so endearing.

There's something about Milton that makes you want to give him a hug and tell him everything will be alright.

While it appears the M's are going to do whatever they can to get Bradley the treatment he needs, one can't help but notice that this reactionary move may very well have cost the Mariners the season. For a franchise that has been widely recognized for its solid personnel decisions, the M's should have been proactive in dealing with Bradley. It's not like he woke up yesterday morning and needed help. He's needed help for years.

Like a troubled foster child being passed from foster home from foster home, Bradley has been passed from team to team (8 in 11 seasons). His undeniable talent is what keeps general managers to naively think that a change of scenery will solve Bradley's problems. And when his demons overshadow that talent, Bradley is discarded like an old MiniDisc player you found in a box that's been taped shut in storage for the last seven years.

At a dinner in January featuring Zduriencik and Mariners manager Don Wakamatsu as the guest speakers, I asked them how they planned on dealing with Milton should any issues arise. Both agreed that having a veteran clubhouse and a great role model in Ken Griffey Jr. would be keys to keeping Bradley under control.

That plan obviously hasn't worked.

In a perfect world, Bradley's saga will bring the Mariners together. Bradley will get the help he needs, come back and start hitting the way he did in 2008 when he lead the American League in OPS. Fueled by his return, the Mariners will charge their way to the AL West title they've coveted since the end of last season.

But the reality is that the Mariners just lost the only player in the lineup who has shown some pop in his bat over the last two weeks. There's no quick fix to replace Bradley's production.

For a team that desperately needed Bradley to be 2008 Bradley begin with, the M's need him even more now.

And for the first time in his career, Bradley needs the team just as much.

Gut Check

Following a solid 7-2 opening home stand to pull them to 9-7 on the season, the Seattle Mariners have sunk into an offensive abyss that is seriously threatening to derail their season in May.

A three-game sweep to the lowly Chicago White Sox last weekend, and now a three-game sweep to the inconsistent Texas Rangers has exposed how painfully bad the M's offense has become.

The Mariners lost all three games to the White Sox by one run. The Rangers forced the M's into submission this weekend. Two heart breaking extra-inning loses, combined with the rare poor performance from Felix Hernandez now has the Mariners three games under .500 with the Tampa Bay Ray and Los Angeles Angeles of Orange County coming to town next week. Think things are bad now? They could be ten times worse come next Sunday.

The most frustrating thing is that not only are most of these games winnable, but the Mariners starting pitchers have been so ridiculously good that it seems unfair that the offense and the bullpen continually waste the brilliant starts.

Everyone expected Hernandez to pitch at a Cy Young caliber level. But nobody would have expected both Jason Vargas and Doug Fister to be two of the American League's best pitchers over the season's first month.

Aside from trading for Adrian Gonzalez, there's little the Mariners can do to improve the offense. There are no big bats in the minors ready to add a boost to the lineup. But the Mariners offense, save for the two headed catching monster of Rob Johnson and Adam Moore, is capable of putting up better numbers than it currently is. Ichiro is the only player who has been consistently hitting. You have to figure these bats will wake up. Ken Griffey Jr. is going to start hitting home runs. Chone Figgins is going to start getting hits in bunches. These guys have been putting up numbers their whole careers. It doesn't just all crap out at once, does it?

Cutting Eric Byrnes had to be done. After finding a way to lose the game twice in the same at-bat on Friday, Byrnes followed up that performance with another 0-4 on Sunday. For all the praise heaped upon Byrnes for his "hustle" and "determination", the fact of the matter is that Byrnes may have put in one of the worst April's in baseball history.

Baseball fans regularly make comments like, "I could hit that pitch" or "I'm a better player than him". Unless you played Division I baseball, or spent time in the minor leagues, such remarks are about as believable as anything that comes from Howard Schultz's mouth. But Byrnes is the first player I've seen where I can honestly say that I could be just as crappy as him. Byrnes hit .094 with no home runs in no RBI's. Byrnes also missed every single ball he dove for in left field (there were many). While I'm the first to admit that my batting average would be .000, I'm fairly confident if you give me some adderall and some Mountain Dew and threw me in left field, I could suck as much as Byrnes.

The other component to the Mariners troubling past 10 days has been the bullpen. Brandon League, Mark Lowe and David Aardsma have all choked in numerous high pressure moments. Five out of the Mariners last seven losses have come from either League, Lowe or Aardsma. This can't continue to happen. It's like running an Ironman race and puking a quarter mile before the finish line, slipping on the puke and breaking your leg.

If the Mariners can win four out of the next six games, they will have seemingly gotten back on track. If they can't, then it's time to panic.

Big Moron

Professional athletes are well known for their criminal exploits. This is in large part because they're under far more scrutiny and media exposure than the everyday schmo who accidentally shoots himself in the leg with an unregistered gun, or your friendly neighbor who may have murdered his wife.

But never before has a professional athlete acted as egregiously as Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger.

If suffering serious injuries following a motorcycle crash wasn't enough to remove Roethlisberger's head from his ass, for the second consecutive year, Big Ben has put himself in a position where he's been accused of rape.

Drug problems aside, the only other instance I can think of any public person being accused for the same stunt twice is Michael Jackson.

Kobe Bryant has had enough sense not to bring a hotel employee to his hotel room again. Pac-Man Jones hasn't "made it rain" twice. Even O.J. didn't go out and kill another woman.

The six-game suspension NFL commissioner Roger Goodell threw at Roethlisberger on Wednesday is not enough. What would have been more fitting is the whole season with no pay.

Based on his actions, Roethlisberger clearly thinks he's above the law. And at this point, he has twice shown he is.

Only time will tell if the six-game suspension, and/or the possibility of a new team will get Roethlisberger to reform himself. But at least the NFL is taking a stand against what has now become a disturbing trend of idiotic behavior involving one of the league's marquee players.

Better late than never.

Just Warming Up

Two weeks into their 162-game season, the Seattle Mariners have shown exactly why many predicted them to finish third in a four team division. But they've also displayed the stellar pitching, lockdown defense and pesky offense that prompted a certain unnamed individual to pick the M's to win the World Series.

So which team is the real Mariners? The offensively challenged, pitching thin squad that had a harder time scoring runs than Ricky Martin had trying to hide his affinity for dudes, or the carefully constructed team that was meticulously built to play baseball deep into October?

Well I'm obviously siding with the latter.

The first week of the season that saw the Mariners bust through the gates with the force of Justin Bieber was an aberration. Going from six weeks in Arizona where the team is up early and to bed early, mostly playing day games to a seven-game road trip did not do the M's any favors. The players bodies were thrown off by their new schedule and unfamiliar surroundings.

And for as severe as the team's offensive shortcomings seemed during that first week, the simple logic was that it was theoretically impossible for the M's to keep failing so miserably on the offensive side. The offense is not nearly as bad as some people believe. Ichiro, Chone Figgins, Milton Bradley and Casey Kotchman are all capable of hitting above .300. Franklin Gutierrez torrid start (.426 BA, 1.012 OPS) is proof that not only is he the best defensive center fielder in baseball, but he's also quickly becoming one of the best all-around players in the game.

Much was made about the Russell Branyan's departure and the power void he left. But not only is Kotchman providing a huge upgrade defensively, he's also on pace for 37 home runs and 149 RBI's. And when you consider the fact that Kotchman won't strike out 30 percent of the time like Branyan, and you have a huge addition to this ball club.

While the pitching staff could use the injured Cliff Lee and Erik Bedard, the early performances of Ryan Rowland-Smith and Doug Fister, along with Felix Hernandez's usual Cy Young-ness, is enough to keep the team afloat at least until Lee's return.

Defensively, the team is a force. Swapping Jose Lopez and Chone Figgins from second to third and vice versa looks like another masterful Jack Zduriencik move.

What it boils down to is that as long as the pitchers keep the ball in the park and the offense can put up between 3-5 runs a game, the Mariners are going to be awfully tough to beat regularly.

161 To Go...

The Seattle Mariners 5-3 Opening Day win over the Oakland A's serves as notice to the havoc that will be wreaked upon American League starting pitchers.

Five runs on six hits is proof that the M's don't need a traditional masher to put some runs on the board. Thanks to the patience at the plate that saw the Mariners draw 8 walks, and some defensive miscues by Oakland, the M's put the pressure on the A's early by jumping out to a 3-0 lead by the third inning.

The 2009 Mariners do not win this game. They wouldn't have had half as many men on base. Chone Figgins and his two walks, two runs and two steals, along with Casey Kotchman and his 4 RBI's showed exactly why GM Jack Zduriencik coveted both players.

Make no mistake, this was not a great game played by the Mariners. Base running miscues by Milton Bradley and Ichiro cost the Mariners at least one run. Felix Hernandez was sharp at times, but an uncharacteristic six walks ultimately prevented Felix from picking up the win. Even Jack Wilson, widely considered the best defensive shortstop in baseball, made an error on what would have been an easy double play.

Yes, it's only the first game of a very long season. But I've always felt that the Mariners offense was better than what the "experts" projected. To see the M's put up five runs and constantly have men on base is as surprising to me as finding out Ricky Martin likes dudes.

Lastly, I feel it's important to note that the last time Duke captured the national title, the Mariners won 116 games. We'll see if history repeats itself.

MLB 2K10: Season Preview

In an off-season where the rich got richer (Halladay to the Phil, Granderson to the Yanks) and poor got poorer (I know I'm not the only one who wonders if the sole purpose of the Nats, Pirates and the Royals is solely aimed at creating the most disenchanted fans in sports), we're primed for a highly entertaining 2010 Major League Baseball season.

Truthfully, I've decided that predictions are a bunch of crap. Does the fact that NOBODY deemed my beloved Mariners worthy of a first place finish factor into my feelings on predictions? Not at all. I've felt this way for a long time. Why else would I predict Grady Sizemore and Daisuke Matsuzaka to win the 2009 AL MVP and AL Cy Young awards respectively?

Last year, Sports Illustrated declared the Mets would win the 2009 World Series (they lost 92 games). Seriously, it's almost like these guys pull team names from a hat. The 2009 Mets? That gives SI as much credibility as the waitress who looked like she was kicked in the face with a steel toe boot (aka Tiger Woods mistress #6).

Nevertheless, I feel it's my duty to share my infinite baseball wisdom. So... let's play ball!

AL West

1) Mariners

2) Angels

3) Rangers

4) A's

Some people might call me a homer for placing the M's atop what is surely to be a hotly contested battle for first in the AL West. But come October, those people will be calling me right.

For everyone currently picking the M's to finish 2nd and (usually) 3rd, they all cite the same issues about lack of pitching depth, an anemic offense and the fact the M's had the most one-run wins in baseball last year. As the great R&B trio 3LW once sang, "Haters, they gon' hate".

But the way I see it, the Mariners have the best 1-2 pitching combo in baseball, the best defense in baseball, the best bullpen in baseball and one of the best coaching staffs in baseball. What they lack offensively, their defense and starting pitching will surely make up for it.

The back end of the rotation is not nearly as bad as some people believe. Both Ian Snell and Ryan Rowland-Smith have the potential to win 15 games.

And while nobody will confuse the 2010 Mariners offense to the 1927 Yankees, it is markedly better than the 2009 team that won 85 games. With the additions of Milton Bradley, Chone Figgins and Casey Kotchman, expect the Mariners to average 4-5 runs a game. With their starting pitching and bullpen, this will be more than enough for 90-plus wins.

The 2010 M's harken back to the great St. Louis Cardinals teams of the 1980's. They aren't going to knock the ball out of the park much, but they are going to gnaw at a pitchers psyche by constantly having Ichior and Figgins on the basepaths. By having doubles hitters like Kotchman and Bradley behind them, expect plenty of games where the M's put 2-3 runs up in the first inning.

The Angels lost their two offensive cogs (Figgins and Vlad Guerrero) and their best pitcher (John Lackey). Make no mistake, they're still a very good team. But you can't be expected to finish first when you replace your losses with inferior players (Hideki Matsui, Joel Piniero).

Mike Scioscia is the best manager in baseball. The Angels will put up a good fight. But they will come up short.

This brings me to the most intriguing team in baseball, the Texas Rangers. Actually, the Rangers are more scary than intriguing. Scary for the fact that their manager and their best player stand a decent chance of getting caught snorting cocaine together at a strip club. Has that ever happened in the history of sports? (The best possiblity I could come up with is Phil Jackson and Ron Artest smoking weed together).

They're also scary because they boast a lineup that if healthy and productive, could be the best in baseball. Five of their regulars could easily hit 30-plus home runs (Josh Hamilton, Nelson Cruz, Vlad Guerrero, Chris Davis, Ian Kinsler). And aside from the catcher position, the remaining everyday players (Michael Young, Elivs Andrus, Julio Borbon) will either hit over .300, and/or steal 30 plus bases.

As usual, the Rangers pitching is what will ultimately prevent them for doing anything special in 2010. Their season lives and dies with Rich Harden's fragile right arm. The Rangers would have been better off giving $6.5 million to Wyclef than investing it in a pitcher who has never thrown over 200 innings in a season, and who has only once eclipsed 30 starts in a season.

Once the darlings of the baseball world, the A's are no an absolute joke. I went to 42 Mariners games last year. I'm pretty sure 39 of those games were against the A's. I saw way too much of a team loaded with the most awesomely mediocre roster ever assembled. This year is no different.

The Ben Sheets signing could very well prove to be a major mistake on the part of GM Billy Beane. The $10 million doled out to Sheets was largely made on the assumption that he could bring in a nice haul of prospects prior to the trade deadline. But Sheets missed the entire 2009 season recovering from elbow surgery. And if his Spring Training numbers (13.2 IP, 11.20 ERA, 23 hits) are an indication of his 2010 performance, then the A's might be saddled with the worst short-term contract since the Dodgers signed Andruw Jones to a 2-year $36-million deal in 2007.

AL Central

1) White Sox

2) Tigers

3) Twins

4) Indians

5) Royals

The White Sox are banking on big returns from Jake Peavy and Carlos Quentin, who both spent most of 2009 on the disabled list, and Alex Rios, who became the outfield equivalent of Yuniesky Bentancourt after the Sox claimed him on waivers in August.

If all three can return to their All-Star form, the ChiSox will be a tough team to beat. Second-year second baseman Gordon Beckham looks ready to breakout.

Their rotation is one of the deepest in baseball with Mark Buehrle, Gavin Floyd, Jon Danks and Freddy Garcia following Peavy.

After royally making love to the pooch last year (blowing a three game lead with four to play), the Tigers swapped outfielders with the Yankees via free agency (Granderson for Johnny Damon), added two stud prospects with huge upside in centerfielder Austin Jackson and starting pitcher Max Scherzer, and got Miguel Cabrera off the sauce. Not a bad haul for a team that just a few years seemed like the final resting stop for former All-Stars (Gary Sheffield, Ivan Rodriguez, Placido Polanco).

The Tigers biggest problem is their depth. If any of their regulars go down with an injury, then rest assured that they will most likely be making love to the pooch in 2010.

Bringing in veterans J.J. Hardy and Orlando Hudson as their new double play combo would on the surface make the Twins the favorites to repeat as AL Central champs. And I would have picked the Twinkies to finish first, save for one glaring issue - their new outdoor stadium.

Baseball was not intended to be played outdoors in Minnesota in April and September. Retractable roof stadiums in Toronto, Seattle, Houston and Milwaukee have proved invaluable to all four franchises. Why the Twins couldn't get on board is beyond me.

Frigid Minnesota weather aside, the Twins had the biggest home field advantage at the boisterous Metrodome. Even with arguably the best all-around player in baseball in Joe Mauer, the Twins will miss the Homerdome. Dearly.

And despite my general feelings that closers are as overrated as "The Blind Side" (movie, not the book), losing Joe Nathan, one of maybe three closers that makes a difference for a team, is not doing the Twinkies any favors.

Even up until last year, the Indians seemed primed to get back to the winning ways that had them one game away from the 2007 World Series. My how things have changed. The Tribe is rebuilding again. They have some nice pieces in Grady Sizemore, Shin-Soo Choo and Asdrubal Cabrera (Thanks, Mariners!). But they also have a pathetic starting rotation, bullpen and a designated hitter who pulled off an impressive Adrian Beltre. (From now on an "Adrian Beltre" refers to a player whose numbers mysteriously (roids) take a dive following a new, lucrative contract signing).

This brings us to the Kansas City Royals - a team that is now apparently working off the philosophy that they can build a winning team by acquiring as many crappy ex-Mariners as possible (they have 4, including two of the all-time worst in YuBet and Willie Bloomquist).

The Royals offseason was highlighted by the astute signings of Rick Ankiel, Scott Podsednick and Jason Kendall (average age: 33). If that doesn't speak volumes about the direction of this franchise, then you probably just had a lobotomy.

Poor Zack Greinke is probably crossing off each passing day on the calendar like Steve Buscemi in "Billy Madison" until 2012 when he is eligible for free agency.

AL East

1) Yankees

2) Red Sox

3) Rays

4) Orioles

5) Blue Jays

The defending champs bid adieu to Yankees staples Hideki Matsui and Johnny Damon. But in the process, got much younger by replacing them with Nick Johnson and Curtis Granderson.

Aside from the black hole in left field (the Hall of Fame caliber Brett Gardner/Randy Winn platoon), the Yanks boast the best lineup in baseball.

Throw in new (old) Yankee Javier Vazquez to the rotation, and there's no reason why the Yankees shouldn't win 100 games.

The Red Sox spent the offseason focusing on defense, signing Mike Cameron, Adrian Beltre and Marco Scutaro. Having catcher Victor Martinez for the entire season will be a huge boost to the Sox offense.

The Sox have the best starting 5 in baseball if they can stay healthy and if Clay Buchholz can harness his enormous potential. Their offense just doesn't compare to the Yankees. And as usual, the Sox will be looking up at the Yanks in the standings.

Just two years removed from their improbable World Series run, the Tampa Bay Rays are put in the unfortunate situation of being in the same division as the Yankees and the Red Sox. They'd most likely be the best team in either of the other two American League divisions.

Their offense, aside from the joke that Pat Burrell has become, is very good. But not good enough. Their starting pitching, despite being very young and not having a 15-game winner on it, is very good. But not good enough. Even their relief pitching, now equipped with a bonafide stopper in Rafael Soriano, is very good. But not good enough.

So goes the plight of the Rays.

For the first time since 1997, the Orioles might finally be able to reach the .500 mark. The O's have some of the best young position players in Adam Jones, Nick Markakis and Matt Wieters. Their starting rotation is anchored by Kevin Millwood, but features two baseball's best young arms with Brian Matusz and Chris Tillman.

If the O's continue to draft well, make good trades and build up their farm system, they could become a force in the AL East within the next 3-5 years.

The Blue Jays are on a collision course with 100 losses. There's no way around it. As if trading the best pitcher alive didn't hurt their chances, the Jays won't even start to see any return from the prospects they got in return until May at the earliest.

It's been four years since Vernon Wells was a good player. And he's signed thru 2014.

Former ass-clown GM J.P. Ricciardi (he even has a great clown name!) spent eight years running the franchise like Charlie Sheen on a bender.

If the Jays fan base isn't already disenchanted after the Halladay trade, they will be come April 30 when the Jays are 10 games under .500.

NL West

1) Rockies

2) Giants

3) Dodgers

4) D-Backs

5) Padres

High off their improbable Wild Card run in 2009, the Rockies bring back largely an identical roster. If Troy Tulowitzki can come close to his 2009 post All-Star numbers (.344 BA, .622 SLG, .421 OBP), and potential super stud Carlos Gonzalez makes good on the promise that got him traded for Dan Haren and Matt Holliday, the Rox will be hard to beat.

The Giants can't kick the habit of overpaying for role players. Mark DeRosa and Aubrey Huff are not the answer for an offense that has only one dangerous bat (Pablo Sandoval). Luckily for them, they boast a solid rotation, anchored by 2-time Cy Young winner (and weed enthusiast) Tim Lincecum.

The Dodgers are a complete mess. The ongoing divorce of owner Frank McCourt hamstrung the franchise from making any upgrades to a roster that didn't have the starting pitching to get them past the Phillies in the NLCS. It's not good when Vincente Padilla is your number one starter.

Manny Ramirez is a walking time bomb. He was not the same hitter after he stopped taking Seasonale.

Joe Torre is a master at handling egos. But Manny is from a different planet. It would not be a surprise to see the Dodgers cut ties with Manny during the season.

If Brandon Webb can return to his Cy Young form, the Diamondback could potentially be the surprise team in baseball. A three-headed pitching monster of Webb, Dan Haren and Edwin Jackson would be t

The D-Backs have a ton of upside in outfielders Justin Upton and Chris Young. If those guys can tap into their enormous potential in 2010, it could be a fun season in Phoenix.

Surprisingly, the Padres are not nearly as bad as some people are making them out to be. Offensively, they have some good young players in Kyle Blanks, Chase Headley and Everth Cabrera.

The Pads pitching just isn't there. But give owner and former super agent Jeff Moorad some time. The guy knows exactly what he's doing.

NL Central

1) Cardinals

2) Cubs

3) Brewers

4) Reds

5) Astros

6) Pirates

By locking up Matt Holliday long term, the Cardinals have the foundation for a team that should be in the postseason every year for the first half of this decade.

Holliday and Albert Pujols are two of the best offensive players in baseball. Chris Carpenter and Adam Wainwright are two of baseball's best pitchers. You don't need much around those guys to win.

The Cubbies spent their offseason trying to unload Milton Bradley. The good news is they rid themselves of Bradley. The bad news is they took on Carlos Silva and his 362 pound ass. This is like trading a high maintenance Ferrari that is always breaking down for a Ford Taurus with 300,000 miles and bullet holes through it.

The Cubbies couldn't win last year. Silva automatically prevents them from doing anything in 2010.

Provided Rickie Weeks can finally stay healthy and put up similar numbers to what he did in 37 games in 2009 (9 HR, 24 RBI, .517 SLG), the Brewers could easily vault over the Cubs.

Pitching is still and issue for the Brew Crew. Randy Wolf will complement Yovani Gallardo nicely in the rotation. After that, you might as well throw Bernie the Brewer.

The Cincinnati Reds are in intriguing young team. If Jay Bruce can stay healthy and hit consistently, they could sneak up on some teams.

Pitching-wise, you know what to expect from Bronson Arroyo and Aaron Harang. The question marks come with the young guys. Johnny Cueto, Edinson Voloquez and Homer Bailey have shown flashes of brilliance. New pitching coach Bryan Price did wonders with pitching staffs in Seattle and Arizona. Throw in Cuban phenom Aroldis Chapman and his 100 MPH gas, and the Reds may be in line for their first winning season since 1999.

Houston and Pittsburgh are just a mess. They will battle each other out for the only sixth place finish in baseball.

NL East

1) Phillies

2) Braves

3) Marlins

4) Mets

5) Nationals

Let's say you're dating Jessica Biel and she tells you that she wants to bring Megan Fox into the relationship, wouldn't you do everything in your power to make sure that happens?

If you're the Philadelphia Phillies, the answer is no. The Phillies had a chance to have the two of the best pitchers in baseball anchoring their rotation, effectively putting them in the driver's seat to win the World Series, and they decided one former Cy Young winner was enough. Their explanation is they needed to replace the prospects they gave up to acquire Halladay. Brilliant.

Yes, Roy Halladay will absolutely dominate the National League. But the Phils could have gone down as one of the all-time great teams with Halladay and Cliff Lee.

Passing on the chance to have Halladay and Lee in the same rotation is going to haunt this team.

The Braves have the pitching depth to challenge the Phils all season long. They can't match Philly's offensive fire power, but rookie Jason Heyward is the most highly touted rookie coming out of Spring Training since Albert Pujols. The key to the Braves offense is at the corners with Chipper Jones and Troy Glaus. But putting your faith in a potential Hall of Famer and a former roider is a dangerous proposition.

Small market teams should look no further than Florida as a blueprint for how to run a franchise. The Marlins are one of the few small market franchise that focuses on developing talent, rather than signing overpriced veterans. They can't match Philadelphia and Atlanta's check books, but with a young nucleus led by Hanley Ramirez, and a new stadium in the works, the Marlins time to shine will be sooner rather than later.

Injuries aside, the 2009 Mets failed so spectacularly largely because their pitching staff consisted of Johan Santana and four other guys who could throw the ball 60 feet.

Their answer for 2010 is to trot out the same pitching as 2009.

David Wright will rebound from his disastrous 09. Carlos Beltran and Jose Reyes coming back and contributing will help too.

But the Mets won't do anything with that pitching staff.

Poor Washington Nationals fans are relegated to counting down the days until Stephen Strausburg is called up to the big leagues. That literally the only thing they have to look forward to.

And can you blame them? Ivan Rodriguez didn't get signed until March 17th last year. Nobody wanted him. And for good reason. His catching skills have diminished greatly, and his bat is nonexistent. But the Nationals go out and sign I-Rod to a two-year deal.

Mark the Nots down for their third straight 100-loss season.

Awards

AL MVP - Mark Teixeira

AL Cy Young - Felix Hernandez

AL ROY - Brian Matusz

AL Comeback Player - Jake Peavy

AL Manager of the Year - Don Wakamatsu

NL MVP - Albert Pujols

NL Cy Young - Roy Halladay

NL ROY - Jason Heyward

NL Comeback Player - David Wright

NL Manager of the Year - Bobby Cox

Playoffs

ALDS

Mariners over Yankees

Red Sox over White Sox

NLDS

Rockies over Braves

Cardinals over Phillies

ALCS

Mariners over Red Sox

Cardinals over Rockies

World Series

Mariners over Cardinals in 6