Where Do We Go From Here?

Let's face it. The Seattle Mariners 2010 season looks about as good as Mangie Mentink's haircut.

Two months into the season and the M's simply can't get it together. They've wasted brilliant starting pitching performances with the lethal combo of zero offense and inept relief pitching. If it weren't for the other three AL West teams intent on playing mediocre baseball, the Mariners season would already be over.

The M's are eight games out of first with 3/4 of the season remaining. If they could only start firing on all cylinders, they potentially could put together a great June and get right back in the race.

Chone Figgins, Jose Lopez and Casey Kotchman all can't suck this bad. Once their bats get going, one could assume that would equate into more wins. Right?

But for all the play the Mariners offense has gotten for being so Heidi Montag, the bigger issue has been the Spencer Pratt-esque relief pitching. Mariners relief pitchers are responsible for 13 of the teams 30 losses. That is simply unacceptable.

Brandon League surrendered two game-winning grand slams in May. In both situations, he gave up on the mound. While League's mullet and giant neck tat seem interesting, the guy needs to stop making love to the pooch in key situations. Unless League has some sort of Hawaiian witch doctor thing going on and he knew that Kendry Morales would fracture his leg celebrating his walk-off grand slam, there's absolutely no excuse why a guy who locates a mid-90's fastball can't get hitters out regularly in clutch situations. As it stands now, League's biggest contribution as a Mariner could be giving up the bomb that lead to Morales busting his leg. That pretty much ended the Angels season.

And maybe that's how the M's will get back into this thing. Maybe one night Josh Hamilton returns to his hotel room and finds a giant bowl of blow on his bed? That will end the Rangers season. The A's aren't very good to begin with, so they will surely play their way out of contention. Before you know it, the M's will be atop the AL West.

In all seriousness, the Mariners are a few more losses from having the season end in June. But they're also a few wins from getting a stay of execution.

And if all else fails, there's always Brandon League.