From Way Downtown...CLANK!

During my teenage years, I concocted a plan to build a house made from a giant chicken McNugget. The McNugget House, as it would be known, came equipped with a system where one could eat parts of the house and they would regenerate. A giant lake filled with strawberry milk would be the stomping ground for hundreds of pure bred yellow Labrador retrievers. My friends would live in the McNugget sauce – honey, barbecue and sweet & sour, respectively. And those not welcome would be subject to tennis ball machines that shot out giant Lemon Heads at speeds up to 100 miles per hour.

Yesterday’s proposal from former Sonics legend, Downtown Fred Brown, and his business partner, Mr. Bean, to build a privately funded sports and entertainment facility reminded me about the McNugget House.

Brown deserves credit for at least trying something new, whereas everyone else wastes time dinking around with the pencil pushers up in Olympia. But Brown’s $1 billion fantasy comes with absolutely no funding, a retractable roof that serves little purpose other than to inflate the price and very little on details.

The proposed location - Pier 46, seems to be a total dream. While I love the Ye Olde Curiosity Shop, the Pier has about as much appeal to it as a Halloween superstore does in March. Even the homeless don’t hang out around there. With all the development that’s taken place around Seattle over the last few years, one would assume developers would be all over the Pier. There’s obviously a reason why the Pier has remained virtually untouched.

In his playing days, Fred Brown was known to have the deepest range in the NBA. Some say that if he played longer during the 3-point era, he would have been a lock for the Hall of Fame. It’s also worth noting that Brown continues to sport the same gorgeous mini-fro that he rocked throughout his NBA career. But Brown seems to be out of his own range on this shot. This isn’t even Michael Jordan/Larry Bird over the second rafter, off the floor, nothing but net shit. Brown should try getting a little closer to the hoop.