We're Playing Baseball...

I'm not sure if it's the miserable Seattle weather, the fact that the Mariners season will be considered a success if they finish .500, or Charlie Sheen (I've started to blame everything that feels off on good ol' Charlie), but my internal time clock is not in sync with Opening Day.

Regardless, it's time for my annual baseball predictions. Sometime in August, we can all look back and laugh at how wrong I was. Truth is, you're better off building up your Laserdisc library than putting any stock in the words that will follow.

But still I try...

AL West

1) A's
2) Rangers
3) Angels
4) Mariners

This comes down to pitching. The A's have a deep rotation full of young, live arms. The Rangers have C.J. Wilson. The Angels screwed the pooch on every big free agent and decided to save face by absorbing Vernon Wells Rulon Gardner sized contract. The Mariners won't be nearly as bad as some people are predicting. Their success is largely dependent on Jack Cust, Milton Bradley and Justin Smoak producing. Maybe I'm sniffing too much Sharpie, but I expect big things from all three.

AL Central

1) Twins
2) White Sox
3) Tigers
4) Royals
5) Indians

I've decided to stop betting against the Twinkies. They've never topped my annual prediction list for a myriad of reason. It's time to stop making excuses. They are legit. The ChiSox and Tigers will give them a good run though. Everyone talks about the Royals "amazing" talent that will start popping up in the big leagues this year. Keep in mind this is the Royals, so I remain very skeptical. The Mariners had a highly touted farm system in the early 2000's. But aside from that World Series Clint Nageotte and Travis Blackley carried them to, it really was a lot of hot air. Then there's the Indians who could very well be the worst team in baseball.

AL East

1) Red Sox
2) Yankees
3) Rays
4) Orioles
5) Blue Jays

In response to not making the playoffs, all the Red Sox did was go out and acquire two top-ten offensive players in Adrian Gonzalez and Carl Crawford. Their lineup is scary good. You could spent countless hours thinking up different lineup combination's. The starting pitching is somewhat suspect after Jon Lester. But it's not nearly as suspect as the Yankees. Tampa Bay will battle hard. As will the Orioles and the Blue Jays. This is hands down the most loaded division in baseball.

NL West

1) Giants
2) Rockies
3) Dodgers
4) Padres
5) D-Bags

The defending champs have too much pitching depth to not win this division. While Brian Wilson may have a crystal meth problem, and Miguel Tejada has somehow gone back to playing shortstop three years after he was deemed too old to do so, the Giants will benefit from a full season of Buster Posey, and the emergence of first base prospect Brandon Belt. The Rox did not make one meaningful offseason move (no, Jose Lopez does not count). They failed to make the playoffs last year. They will fail again this year. Over in LaLa Land, I'm still convinced Dodgers GM Ned Colletti must have way more dirt on sleazebag owner Frank McCourt than his ex-wife Jamie does. There's no other explanation for why he still has a job. It's a shame the Padres financial situation forced them to trade Adrian Gonzalez. Then there's the D-Bags who might have to trot out a limping Kirk Gibson to get any sort of publicity this year.

NL Central

1) Brewers
2) Reds
3) Cardinals
4) Cubs
5) Astros
6) Pirates

This year is make or break for the Brew Crew. Adding Shawn Marcum and Zack Grienke gives two frontline starters to go along with Yovani Gallardo. Even if Grienke is out for the first month, I still really like this team. The Reds won't go away quietly, and having the best hitter on the planet will help the Cards hang around. The Cubs are the NL Central Dodgers, while the Astros and Pirates will be lucky not to lose 100 apiece.

NL East

1) Braves
2) Phillies
3) Marlins
4) Mets
5) Nationals

The Braves have the most balanced team in the NL. Their doesn't seem to be an easy way to beat this team. They stole Dan Uggla from Florida for nothing. Jason Heyward should be even better in his second season. All the talk over the Phillies feared foursome has glossed over the fact that their offense at times looked as emaciated as Natalie Portman in "Black Swan" last year. They lost Jayson Werth. Now Chase Utley is out for an undetermined period. The Marlins should make things interesting, especially with power hitting stud Mike Stanton. The Mets are the Dodgers of the NL East (notice a pattern with storied NL franchises who have blown gobs of money on overpriced free agents, while neglecting player development). Then there's the Nationals. I'm sure their fans will have plenty to say when Jayson Werth produces an 18 home run season.

Playoffs

ALDS: A's over Yankees, Red Sox over Twins
NLDS: Phillies over Giants, Braves over Brewers

ALCS: Red Sox over Twins
NLCS: Phillies over Braves

World Series: Phillies over Red Sox

AL MVP - Robinson Cano
AL Cy Young - Felix Hernandez
AL ROY - Jeremy Hellickson

NL MVP - Albert Pujols
NL Cy Young - Cliff Lee
NL ROY - Aroldis Chapman

The Running Wolverines

With the NCAA Tournament Tournament set to put productivity in the work place to a halt, it seemed fitting that both ESPN and HBO aired two documentaries about two of the best remembered teams in Tourney history.

Over the past 18 months, ESPN has stepped up its long form productions with their "30 for 30" series. Although some were forgettable ( "House of Steinbrenner", "Marion Jones: Press Pause"), the large majority were very, very good (something remarkable considering ESPN continues to employ Rachel Nichols).

So naturally, hopes were high for "The Fab 5" - a very engaging piece on the 91-92, 92-93 University of Michigan men's basketball teams that featured 5 stud recruits who forever impacted college basketball.

Known as much for their baggy shorts, black socks and swag as for their play, Chris Webber, Juwan Howard, Jalen Rose, Jimmy King and Ray Knight could flat out ball. It seems odd that it's been 20 years since the Fab 5 burst onto the scene. But ESPN quickly reminds viewers just how good they were.

Webber in particular was truly a unique player. He was a phenomenal passer and ball handler for a big man. He could blend power and finesse in a way that very few, if any other basketball player has ever done.

But Webber declined to participate in "The Fab 5". The fallout from his false grand jury testimony undeniably has caused a huge rift between Michigan and the best basketball player in UM history (sorry, Rumeal Robinson).

So not having Webber's input on his time at Michigan leaves a major void in "The Fab 5". While Jalen Rose comes off like the poor man's Charles Barkley in the honesty department, the absence of Weber limits how effective this story is told.

HBO's "Runnin' Rebels of UNLV" is almost an homage to former UNLV head basketball coach Jerry Tarkanian's high risk, high reward leadership, rather than an examination on the Rebel's great 89-90, 90-91 teams. The latter would have been more preferable.

UNLV's two years of dominance resulted in a national title and an embarrassing loss to Duke the following year in the title game. They were brash, hard nosed and high scoring. But they also weren't abiding by NCAA regulations. Given the NCAA's arbitrary enforcement, this almost seems like an afterthought. And let's be honest, the Rebels weren't the only one's doing shady shit.

Despite ESPN devoting two hours to "The Fab 5", HBO could only muster an hour for "Runnin' Rebels". It seemed insufficient. And in many ways it was.

Like Chris Webber, Larry Johnson, the star of the great UNLV teams, did not partake in "Runnin' Rebels".

HBO Sports has set the standard for great sports documentaries. And this is may be the first time that they've fallen short of excellence.

Neither doc having the star player from those respective teams is like watching a Charlie Sheen webcast with just "The Goddesses".

It might be entertaining, but it's not enough.

"The Fab 5" - B+

"Runnin' Rebels" - B

And the Winner is...

On the night when Hollywood bestowed it's highest honor on the film industry, the Washington Huskies (Wo)Men's basketball team turned in it's version of The Razzies.

Playing their cross-state rival Washington State Cougars, or college basketball's answer to Cousin Eddie from the National Lampoon Vacation films, the Huskies turned in arguably their worst performance since the advent of the shot clock. The Dawgs shot 33 percent from the field, a measly 29 percent from three, and a paltry 62 percent from the charity stripe. Save for a brief comeback during the last 8 minutes of the game, the Huskies played like they were tripping on crystal meth.

So without further adieu, the envelope please....

Worst Actor - Matthew Bryan Amanning

Paying homage to his fellow countryman Russell Brand and his performance in "Get Him to the Greek", MBA finished the game with 14 points and 10 rebounds, very close to his season averages of 16 and 8. But the Brit had all of two points at halftime and he shot 3-11 from the floor. Like the rest of the team, his energy was on par with a corpse.

Worst Supporting Actor - Aziz N'Diaye

The big man from Senegal channeled his inner Pauly Shore to look even more lost on the court than usual. Other than being a big body on the floor, N'Diaye's game has consistently regressed since Pac-10 play started. He has the hands of Edward Scissorhands and Shaq's free throw skills.

Worst Actress - Venoy Overton

Everyone's favorite sexual deviant has become the Huskies Katherine Heigl. You just want him to disappear. The excessive expressions, the excessive turnovers, and the excessive fouls have become stale. When Heigl became a problem on Grey's Anatomy, they killed off her character. Luckily, Turnoverton is a senior.

Worst Supporting Actress - Terrence Ross

The freshman is a newcomer to UW/Wazzu rivalry. Pulling out something from Jessica Alba's filmography, Ross crapped out zero points on Sunday night. Enough said.

Worst Director - Lorenzo Romar

LoRo could have been mistaken for M. Night Shyamalan on Sunday. I love Romar as much as anyone, but the Huskies were simply unprepared for this game. That lies solely on Romar. This was a must-win game for a team that not too long ago, looked poised to make a serious run in March. Simply unacceptable in every way.

What's the Fuss?

When Carmelo Anthony and LeBron James entered the NBA together in 2003, many were calling them the next Bird and Magic. As Michael Jordan declared a third and final end to his career, these two captivating young future stars were expected to return the NBA to its 1980's glory days.

But despite the ESPN hyped rivalry between Melo and LeDouche, nothing has really come of it. They never met in the Finals, and have thus been relegated to the mandatory two games per season, plus All-Star Games.

And aside from arguably being two of the least intelligent showcased "stars", their careers bear little resemblance to each other.

LeDouche has become the singularly most despised figure in sports. He is also a force on the basketball court, combining dominant physical gifts with uncanny instincts. LeDouche bulldozed the Cavs to the 2007 Finals, and has captured the last two league MVP's.

In contrast, Melo has shown himself to be little more than a highly efficient scorer. He has never taken the Nuggets to the Finals. And he has never finished higher than sixth in MVP voting.

As Melo stands in the middle of the NBA's worst kept trade rumor, there is something important worth noting - Melo isn't that good.

Call him the "Slumdog Millionaire" of the NBA. Ever since he lead Syracuse to a National Championship, Melo has been thought of as a marquee player who will one day lead a team to the Finals.

This has yet to happen, and with the New Jersey Nets seemingly willing to cripple their already crippled franchise for years to come by trading a great prospect in Derrick Favors, along with Devin Harris, future draft picks, and some moving parts for Melo and his equally moronic wife, LaLa.

By all accounts, Melo's career is eerily similar to a former Nugget who could light up the scoreboard - Alex English. Neither Melo, nor English showed a knack for doing much else aside from putting the ball in the basket. The biggest difference between the two is that English did this much more efficiently, albeit to much less fanfare.

Offhand, I can name no less than 15 players who I would rather have on my team than Melo. So placing him on a Nets team that boasts a weaker supporting cast than the one Melo currently has in Denver, will result in little more than some early round playoff exits.

All along, Melo's desired landing spot has been rumored to be the Knicks. As evidenced by Amar'e Stoudemire's ascension to a god-like figure in The Garden, Melo would not only become a giant celebrilete on the Knicks, he would also position himself to be on a team that could legitimately contend for a title.

The caveat here is that unless the Knicks can work out a trade for Melo before the trade deadline (stupid for the Knicks considering the players they'd lose in Wilson Chandler, and Landry Fields or Danilo Galinari would hurt the team more than Melo would help), Melo would be best served by playing out his expiring contract with the Nuggets.

The other option is to accept a trade to New Jersey without signing a contract extension (very possible given how desperate the Nets have been to acquire Melo), then turning around and signing with the Knicks over the summer.

The Nets seem to be in the mindset that once in Jersey, Melo will fall in love with the place and decide to sign the extension. But even with their impending move to Brooklyn, and their billionaire owner Mikhail Prokhorov, Melo would be setting himself up for failure in...New Jersey (former New York Gov. David Patterson voice)!!!

New York is the best landing spot for Melo because he will get to showcase his offensive prowess in coach Mike D'Antoni's up-tempo offense, while deferring half the pressure to Amar'e. Melo will also be able to continue hiding the fact that he's not nearly as great as most people have made him out to be. It's a win-win.

And maybe we'll finally see the Melo/LeDouche rivalry materialize.

Hall of Shame?

Every year, the members of the Baseball Writers Association of America cast their votes for players they deem acceptable for entry into baseball's sacred haven - the National Baseball Hall of Fame.

Thanks to the recent boom in statistical analysis, coupled with the ever-increasing number of player's either suspected, or proven to have used steroids, the Hall of Fame debate has lead to endless debates.

The biggest criticism of the BBWAA's voting process is that many of the members will withhold votes against deserving players as some form of punishment for a) being a douche b to the media during their playing career, b) involvement in a unbecoming incident either on-field or off-field, or c) not having good enough numbers to be a first-ballot selection. (This might be the most absurd reasoning. If you're a Hall of Famer, you're a Hall of Famer. While time may give a better perspective on a playing career, it does not magically turn a player with a good, but not great career into a Hall-worthy candidate. Sorry, Bob Hamelin).

The 2010 election saw voters take a pass on Roberto Alomar because he spat at an umpire in 1996. In October of last year, there was an even more disturbing story claiming Alomar had unprotected sex with his wife, despite knowing he is HIV-positive.

We'll find out Wednesday if the latest drama surrounding Alomar will keep him away from the Hall for another year.

But until then, this certain non-voting member will cast his imaginary ballot into cyberspace. Enjoy!

Yes on:

Roberto Alomar - All controversies aside, Alomar was a spectacular second baseman offensively and defensively. Many sabermetrics statheads have claimed that Alomar's glove wasn't anywhere near as great as his reputation has lead people to believe. But as someone who witnessed Alomar rob countless seeing-eye-singles, I'll politely ignore the MIT geeks for now. Offensively, Alomar was a threat from both sides (that's what she said), and starred for two World Series teams in Toronto, along with some very good Baltimore and Cleveland teams in the late 90's and early 2000's.

Fred McGriff - This is one I really can't figure out. In his first year of eligibility last year, McGriff garnered just 21.5 percent of the vote. I even reached out to Mariners beat writer Larry Stone to ask why the Crime Dog wasn't getting any love. Stone chalked it up to McGriff playing in the steroids era and never hitting more than 37 home runs. But Stone also said he'd most like vote for him. And true to his word, he did. McGriff's career numbers are comparable to HOF members Willie McCovey and Willie Stargell, yet he got less votes than Mark McGwire. McGriff was one of the top power hitting first basemen for 15 years. He fell just seven home runs shy of 500. And by all appearances, McGriff played steroid free. My silent struggle to get McGriff into the Hall most likely will fail miserably again this year. But hopefully in time he will get his due in Cooperstown. He absolutely deserves it.

Bert Blyleven - I'm curious to know what Blyleven did on the 13 days when he found out he wouldn't be headed into the Hall. Did he sit by his phone like crazy Mel Gibson in "Ransom", ready to tell Jimmy Shaker to go kill himself? Well after falling just five overweight, overfed BBWAA member votes shy of election this year, it seems like a near certainty that Blyleven will finally get his due. Blyleven's career is an interesting one. He had some phenomenal seasons, sprinkled in with a couple mediocre one's, and a few full blown suck fests. He finished in the top ten in wins six times, losses nine times, and strikeouts a remarkable 15 times. Blyleven began his HOF quest some 13 years ago with a paltry 17.5 percent of the vote. He's just too close to be denied. Right?

Jeff Bagwell - In his first year on the ballot, Bags has gotten a decent amount of attention. There are a great deal of voters who believe he absolutely belongs. From 94-04, he was pretty much a lock for 30 plus home runs, 100 plus RBI and an OPS at or above .900. Bagwell also had a stellar glove at first. The knock on him is that although never implicated, he fits the profile of a roider (that profile being a burly white guy who hit a ridiculous amount of bombs throughout the 90's and into the 2000's). To exclude Bagwell because he "may" have been a roider, with no evidence pointing to him actually roiding is not only ignorant, but irresponsible.

Edgar Martinez - This is year 2 in Gar's journey to reach Cooperstown despite spending most of his career at DH. He had a solid first showing, getting 36.2 percent of the vote. But that's not even halfway to election. Those supporting Edgar point to the fact that he is one of 11 retired players to play 2,000 games and have a batting average over .300, an on-base percentage over .400, and a slugging percentage over .500. The 10 others are in the Hall of Fame. Those who don't, say his career numbers, mainly his 2,247 hits (157th all-time), along with the DH thing just aren't HOF worth enough. The DH thing is bothersome in part because a designated hitter is no more specialized than a closer. And unlike a closer, a DH has a far greater impact on a team throughout the course of a season. If Bruce Sutter can get in, so can Edgar. It will just take some time.

Missing the cut:

Mark McGwire/Rafael Palmeiro - It wasn't that long ago that this dynamic duo were considered locks for Cooperstown. It will be interesting to see if McGwire's roid confession will do anything to alter his candidacy. He's hovered in the low 20's every year percentage wise for voting. Palmeiro still insists he never took steroids. He came away from the 2005 Congressional hearings as the finger-waving winner of that melodrama. But then proceeded to test positive for roids and try to through fellow roider Miguel Tejada under the bus for it. And very much like McGwire before him, Raffy up and disappeared. McGwire at least has been welcomed back to the game. McGwire also has the nostalgic factor from the 98 home run chase. Palmeiro has nothing like that. Yes, he put up extraordinary numbers. But those now seem to be partially on account of Jose Canseco shooting roids into Raffy's butt. And if being a mustachioed liar wasn't bad enough. Those old Viagra commercials will surely close Palmeiro's HOF coffin.

Barry Larkin - Excellent career as one of the best shortstops and all-around players during his time. But Larkin wasn't Cal Ripken. He wasn't Ernie Banks either. He had some truly great seasons, especially 95-96. But he was also frequently injured. I really think Larkin's reputation as one of baseball's "good guys" has really skewed many voters opinions. Larkin's greatness can't be denied. His induction into Cooperstown should be.

Tim "Rock" Raines - In recent years, Raines has become the darling of the Sabermetric crowd. He possessed the rare quality of being a leadoff man who could hit for average, get on base, steal bases, score runs and was great defensively. Throughout the 1980's, he was like the Diet Coke to Rickey Henderson's Cherry Coke. (It's ironic that I bring up coke, because there was a time in the 80's when I'm pretty sure Raines tried to snort the first base line). But much like Barry Larkin, Raines, albeit very good, just isn't good enough for the Hall.

Unlike football and basketball, the baseball Hall of Fame has developed some pretty clear criteria that warrants induction. As the steroid era and further emphasis on sabermetrics blurs that criteria, nerds like me will continue to ponder HOF candidates validity.

Stupid Money

It's that time of year when baseball general manager's start acting like Michael Jordan's sons on a Vegas bender. Ah yes, it's the annual Winter Meetings where all of baseball's movers and shakers convene on a supersized hotel to throw out millions upon millions at generally undeserving players. Recession, resmeshion. If you spent time on a major league roster last year and now find yourself a free agent, there's a good chance your bank account will have a few extra zeroes in it.

Newly minted Washington National Jayson Werth should thank his agent Scott Boras for netting him what will one day (maybe tomorrow) be viewed as one of baseball's worst contracts. How a player who has three good seasons under his belt, and at 32-years-old gets locked up for seven years and $126 million is so far gone, it makes one wonder if Nationals GM Mike Rizzo has a serious drug problem.

The Nats lost 93 games last year. There is no reason to believe they will contend in the near future. Their prized prospect Stephen Strasburg's arm exploded after a handful of big league starts. They just lost their main power source in Adam Dunn to the Chicago White Sox for less than half of what Werth will earn.

And it's not like the Nats haven't seen countless $100 million plus contracts that have backfired terribly. Starting with the $105 million contract the Dodgers handed pitcher Kevin Brown in 1999, the list of players in the $100 million club seems like a cautionary tale. Mike Hampton. Jason Giambi. Carlos Lee. Carlos Beltran. Vernon Wells. Alfonso Soriano. Barry Zito. Even my beloved Ken Griffey Jr. makes this list for contracts that fail miserably to offer any significant return on investment.

The money isn't even the biggest issue. Player's salaries inflate every year. The problem usually is the length of the $100 million contracts. What kind of numbers will Wells and Soriano put up in the final year of their deals in 2013 and 2014, respectively? It's almost as frightening as imagining what Heidi Montag's face will look like then.

But despite all the bad $100 million plus deals that have gone down since Kevin Brown's, franchises continue to pull out their checkbooks without hesitation. Because as long as owners continue to try t0 one-up each other with their overpriced trophies, players will continue to flock to the highest bidder and continue to put up underwhelming numbers for the money.

G-Men

It's seems fitting that on a day when Randy Moss, arguably the most selfish and petulant athlete in recent memory, gets jettisoned from his second team in less than a month, that one of the great teams (in the truest sense of the word) in recent memory wins the World Series.

The San Francisco Giants captured baseball's ultimate prize with a patchwork lineup, brilliant starting pitching and a lock down bullpen. It reads a lot more simple than it was

Give credit to Giants manager Bruch Bochy who somehow got a lineup full of overpaid, underperforming veterans to buy into a team concept. Guys like Aaron Rowand and Pablo Sandoval who have seen better days playing-wise could have been poison to a clubhouse. Instead, they embraced their roles as bench players, doing whatever they could to help their team win.

Even Aubrey Huff, a player known around the league as being a "bad clubhouse guy", seemingly came up with big hit after big hit, only to lay down a bunt in a key situation in Game 5 of the Series to move runners to second and third.

The Giants starting pitching completely stifled the best lineup in baseball. The trio of Tim Lincecum, Matt Cain and Madison Bumgarner submitted three classic World Series performances.

In other words, the Giants are an easy team to like. Catcher Buster Posey seems like he was put on this earth to be a big league catcher. Closer Brian Wilson, he of the absurd black beard that is the West Coast's answer to Jimmy McMillan from the Rent is Too Damn High Party, has entered the upper echelon of baseball firemen. And then there's Lincecum - the pot smoking hipster, who was passed over by nine teams because of fears his small frame would break down before the Giants selected him in the 2006 MLB Draft (The Mariners determined a drafting a diabetic pitcher would be a better choice).

In an era where many teams spend way too much time obsessing over OBP, pitch counts and UZR, the Giants went out and showed the country what real baseball looks like.

The Giants struck out a ton. They didn't get on base much either. But they hit bombs and were anchored by outstanding pitching. The object of the game is to score more runs than the other team. Not get more walks. The Giants understood this as well as any team.

Six teams made the 2010 postseason. The Giants easily had the weakest lineup of the six. Yet what set them apart was that every member on that team knew exactly what was expected of the them and they understood their roles.

And now they're World champs.

As for the Texas Rangers, I for one am relieved that they crashed and burned in the World Series.

The way I saw it, unless Justin Smoak became Albert Pujols 2.0 and lead the Mariners to a World Series title, the Cliff Lee to Texas deal would forever go down as one of the most lopsided in history.

It would go something like this - the Rangers got Lee and a World Series. The Mariners got Justin Smoak and a rapist. Terrible trade.

It's bad enough the Rangers even got to the Series. They can thank the Mariners for that. But as a great friend once told me, almost only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.

Come next April, Lee will be in pinstripes, and the Rangers lone World Series appearance will be a distant memory.