We're Playing Baseball...

I'm not sure if it's the miserable Seattle weather, the fact that the Mariners season will be considered a success if they finish .500, or Charlie Sheen (I've started to blame everything that feels off on good ol' Charlie), but my internal time clock is not in sync with Opening Day.

Regardless, it's time for my annual baseball predictions. Sometime in August, we can all look back and laugh at how wrong I was. Truth is, you're better off building up your Laserdisc library than putting any stock in the words that will follow.

But still I try...

AL West

1) A's
2) Rangers
3) Angels
4) Mariners

This comes down to pitching. The A's have a deep rotation full of young, live arms. The Rangers have C.J. Wilson. The Angels screwed the pooch on every big free agent and decided to save face by absorbing Vernon Wells Rulon Gardner sized contract. The Mariners won't be nearly as bad as some people are predicting. Their success is largely dependent on Jack Cust, Milton Bradley and Justin Smoak producing. Maybe I'm sniffing too much Sharpie, but I expect big things from all three.

AL Central

1) Twins
2) White Sox
3) Tigers
4) Royals
5) Indians

I've decided to stop betting against the Twinkies. They've never topped my annual prediction list for a myriad of reason. It's time to stop making excuses. They are legit. The ChiSox and Tigers will give them a good run though. Everyone talks about the Royals "amazing" talent that will start popping up in the big leagues this year. Keep in mind this is the Royals, so I remain very skeptical. The Mariners had a highly touted farm system in the early 2000's. But aside from that World Series Clint Nageotte and Travis Blackley carried them to, it really was a lot of hot air. Then there's the Indians who could very well be the worst team in baseball.

AL East

1) Red Sox
2) Yankees
3) Rays
4) Orioles
5) Blue Jays

In response to not making the playoffs, all the Red Sox did was go out and acquire two top-ten offensive players in Adrian Gonzalez and Carl Crawford. Their lineup is scary good. You could spent countless hours thinking up different lineup combination's. The starting pitching is somewhat suspect after Jon Lester. But it's not nearly as suspect as the Yankees. Tampa Bay will battle hard. As will the Orioles and the Blue Jays. This is hands down the most loaded division in baseball.

NL West

1) Giants
2) Rockies
3) Dodgers
4) Padres
5) D-Bags

The defending champs have too much pitching depth to not win this division. While Brian Wilson may have a crystal meth problem, and Miguel Tejada has somehow gone back to playing shortstop three years after he was deemed too old to do so, the Giants will benefit from a full season of Buster Posey, and the emergence of first base prospect Brandon Belt. The Rox did not make one meaningful offseason move (no, Jose Lopez does not count). They failed to make the playoffs last year. They will fail again this year. Over in LaLa Land, I'm still convinced Dodgers GM Ned Colletti must have way more dirt on sleazebag owner Frank McCourt than his ex-wife Jamie does. There's no other explanation for why he still has a job. It's a shame the Padres financial situation forced them to trade Adrian Gonzalez. Then there's the D-Bags who might have to trot out a limping Kirk Gibson to get any sort of publicity this year.

NL Central

1) Brewers
2) Reds
3) Cardinals
4) Cubs
5) Astros
6) Pirates

This year is make or break for the Brew Crew. Adding Shawn Marcum and Zack Grienke gives two frontline starters to go along with Yovani Gallardo. Even if Grienke is out for the first month, I still really like this team. The Reds won't go away quietly, and having the best hitter on the planet will help the Cards hang around. The Cubs are the NL Central Dodgers, while the Astros and Pirates will be lucky not to lose 100 apiece.

NL East

1) Braves
2) Phillies
3) Marlins
4) Mets
5) Nationals

The Braves have the most balanced team in the NL. Their doesn't seem to be an easy way to beat this team. They stole Dan Uggla from Florida for nothing. Jason Heyward should be even better in his second season. All the talk over the Phillies feared foursome has glossed over the fact that their offense at times looked as emaciated as Natalie Portman in "Black Swan" last year. They lost Jayson Werth. Now Chase Utley is out for an undetermined period. The Marlins should make things interesting, especially with power hitting stud Mike Stanton. The Mets are the Dodgers of the NL East (notice a pattern with storied NL franchises who have blown gobs of money on overpriced free agents, while neglecting player development). Then there's the Nationals. I'm sure their fans will have plenty to say when Jayson Werth produces an 18 home run season.

Playoffs

ALDS: A's over Yankees, Red Sox over Twins
NLDS: Phillies over Giants, Braves over Brewers

ALCS: Red Sox over Twins
NLCS: Phillies over Braves

World Series: Phillies over Red Sox

AL MVP - Robinson Cano
AL Cy Young - Felix Hernandez
AL ROY - Jeremy Hellickson

NL MVP - Albert Pujols
NL Cy Young - Cliff Lee
NL ROY - Aroldis Chapman