A New Crown

Sports Illustrated runs a blurb in every issue called "Sign of the Apocalypse". It's aptly titled considering you'll see something like, "A Philadelphia woman refused to go to the hospital after going into labor during an Eagles game".

I fear that next week's "Sign of the Apocalypse" will be viewership for LeBron James' free agency special was higher than the State of the Union.

Now I must admit, LeBron has expertly milked his free agency for two years. The only thing missing is that he didn't offer his press conference on pay-per-view. I haven't been so anxious to hear an announcement since the classic Ruben vs. Clay battle in 2003.

Part of my anxiety stemmed from the uncertainty that live TV brings. ESPN devoted an entire hour in prime time for LeBron. I was hoping to see World Wide Wes perform a solo tap dance. Maybe even a couples interview like they do on "The Bachelor" with Delonte West and Gloria James.

In the end, LeBron chose Tony Montana over Joe the Plumber. Is that such a crime? You'd need a psych eval if you chose to live in Cleveland over Miami. But when you consider that LeBron is an Ohio native and the only thing keeping Cleveland afloat economically, it really makes you wonder how LeBron could leave.

The irony of this is that even with LeBron, the Lakers are still better than the Heat (the Celtics might be as well). Not only does the Lake Show feature a far deeper roster, but they have a better power forward than Chris Bosh in Pau Gasol, a LeBron stopper in Ron Artest and Kobe, who regardless of what the "experts" say, is the best player in the NBA.

LeBron now becomes the most hated basketball player outside of Miami. So along with his new team and his new city, I propose a new name - LeDouche.

Trading Places?

After my month-long moratorium on blogging following the dagger to the heart of my 2010 Mariners dream season, I figure it's time to switch gears.

The NBA free agent frenzy will hopefully move from rampant speculation to legitimate decision making in the coming days. The balance of power could shift to a super team that features a combination of LeBron James, Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh. Or we could see James and Wade stay put, with Bosh floating around as the wild card.

For the Cleveland's sake, it would be great to see LBJ stay put. But if LeBron does decide to bolt, the National Weather Center should create "Hurricane LeBron". The nightly news will show chopper shots of Clevelanders standing on their roofs, begging to be rescued. Cleveland will immediately become Detroit 2.0 and we'll see another Midwestern city go down for the count.

LeBron's legacy would also be greatly enhanced for showing loyalty to Cleveland. He's let this entire free agency hoopla take on a life of its own solely for his ego's sake. He could have signed an extension with Cleveland at any point. But James chose this path. It's hard to imagine his defection going over well with anyone except those who root for whatever team he potentially ends up with. King James could easily become the NBA's answer to Alex Rodriguez.

D-Wade's situation doesn't have nearly as much riding on it as LeBron's. While Wade is undeniably one of the Top 5 player's in the league, the city of Miami is not nearly as dependent on him. (They survived Bimbo Coles being traded, so they'll get by). And even more importantly, Wade peacing out would leave the Heat with just Michael Beasley and Mario Chalmers under contract. This would ultimately have to be made into a reality show called "Mario and The Bease", featuring the two hot boxing the Heat locker room while they openly mock Pat Riley's hair. Riveting TV.

What's gotten lost under all this free agent madness is how financially inept most NBA GM's are. Unless you put a value on pouty power forwards who can't rebound or defend, Amare Stoudamire is not worth $100 million. Nor is Joe Johnson worth anywhere near $120 million.

Why a franchise like the Hawks that is perennially bad (even their "good" teams of the mid-eighties couldn't get past the Eastern Conference Semis) feels compelled to give dole out $120 million to a guy who averages slightly north of 20 points a game, while struggling to shoot 45 percent from the floor is Example A of what's wrong with the NBA.

There are maybe 10-15 players in the NBA that aren't replaceable. If you play fantasy basketball then you understand that statement. What it basically boils down to is that 90 percent of NBA players will put up good numbers if given enough minutes. There are a few select player's whose production simply can't be replicated. But otherwise the parity is astoundingly similar. It's not coincidental that Flip Murray averaged over 20 PPG for the 2003-2004 Sonics when Ray Allen opened the season on the injured list. Flip got the minutes. Flip filled up the box score. Simple as that.

LeBron, D-Wade and Chris Bosh are three of the best in the league. Wherever they land, and where they don't, will be greatly affected for years to come.

The Goodbye Kid

There's usually no way to know when your childhood ends. You get a job. You get married. You have kids. Probably somewhere in there. But for thousands of people who grew up watching Ken Griffey Jr., their childhood ended June 2, 2010.

It's impossible to overstate what Junior means to Seattle or to baseball. The 630 career home runs and the 13 All-Star Games don't even scratch the surface. Defensively, Willie Mays is the only other centerfielder who can compare. Offensively, Junior's swing is one of the most fluid things I've ever seen. The guy was born to play baseball.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, I'd rather watch Junior strike out than see any other player hit a home run.

Many will lament about how injuries ravaged Junior's career. But doing so completely disrespects Griffey's legacy. Even with the injuries, Junior put together one of the greatest careers in baseball history. And in an era where his most of his contemporaries have been linked to performance enhancing drugs, Griffey stands among few who can honestly say that they played the game the right way.

A number of people have told me that they don't love anything as much as I love Junior. While I realize my passion for all things Griffey is a little intense, I'd like to think it's more a result of falling in love with baseball at the exact time that Griffey started his career. To have the best player in the world playing in your city as you're growing up is an incredible gift.

Seattle has seen it's share of great athletes. But Junior is the only one who was the absolute best in his respective sport.

I'm lucky enough to say I saw Junior's last home run and his last hit. I am beyond grateful to have literally hundreds of Griffey moments that replay in my mind on a daily basis. But the best part about those moments is that I got to share everyone of them with my family and my best friends.

This season did not go as planned. The Mariners were supposed to contend, and Griffey was supposed to provide some pop to a lineup that couldn't rely solely on Rob Johnson's potent bat. But in a tragically ironic way, it's a fitting end for a player whose career did not go as planned.

Even as the season continued to unfold at frustrating levels, I still maintained that I had 50 games in me. I could handle Griffey as a glorified pinch hitter. Having Junior in the stadium provided a sense that you could see something special. Now I'm not sure if I have ten more games in me.

Baseball just doesn't seem as much fun anymore.

Where Do We Go From Here?

Let's face it. The Seattle Mariners 2010 season looks about as good as Mangie Mentink's haircut.

Two months into the season and the M's simply can't get it together. They've wasted brilliant starting pitching performances with the lethal combo of zero offense and inept relief pitching. If it weren't for the other three AL West teams intent on playing mediocre baseball, the Mariners season would already be over.

The M's are eight games out of first with 3/4 of the season remaining. If they could only start firing on all cylinders, they potentially could put together a great June and get right back in the race.

Chone Figgins, Jose Lopez and Casey Kotchman all can't suck this bad. Once their bats get going, one could assume that would equate into more wins. Right?

But for all the play the Mariners offense has gotten for being so Heidi Montag, the bigger issue has been the Spencer Pratt-esque relief pitching. Mariners relief pitchers are responsible for 13 of the teams 30 losses. That is simply unacceptable.

Brandon League surrendered two game-winning grand slams in May. In both situations, he gave up on the mound. While League's mullet and giant neck tat seem interesting, the guy needs to stop making love to the pooch in key situations. Unless League has some sort of Hawaiian witch doctor thing going on and he knew that Kendry Morales would fracture his leg celebrating his walk-off grand slam, there's absolutely no excuse why a guy who locates a mid-90's fastball can't get hitters out regularly in clutch situations. As it stands now, League's biggest contribution as a Mariner could be giving up the bomb that lead to Morales busting his leg. That pretty much ended the Angels season.

And maybe that's how the M's will get back into this thing. Maybe one night Josh Hamilton returns to his hotel room and finds a giant bowl of blow on his bed? That will end the Rangers season. The A's aren't very good to begin with, so they will surely play their way out of contention. Before you know it, the M's will be atop the AL West.

In all seriousness, the Mariners are a few more losses from having the season end in June. But they're also a few wins from getting a stay of execution.

And if all else fails, there's always Brandon League.

The End?

During the 1994 season, the Minnesota Twins, managed by 12-year old Billy Haywood stood at a crossroads with their aging slugger and Twins legend Jerry Johnson.

Following a Johnson single that got Haywood particularly hopeful for a Johnson revival, bench coach Mac Macnally turned to Haywood and said, "Son, don't you think there's something wrong when you get this excited over a seeing-eye single?"

After the game, Haywood made the excruciatingly painful decision to inform Johnson that the Twins were releasing him. An irate Johnson forcefully told Haywood, "You're making a big mistake. I'm not through yet. I'm gonna catch on somewhere. And when I do, I'm gonna come back here and I'm gonna stick it RIGHT IN YOUR FACE."

Fast forward to 2010 and the Seattle Mariners seemingly have a similar situation on their hands. Ken Griffey Jr., the greatest athlete in Seattle sports history and the singular reason why there's even a baseball team in Seattle, is struggling mightily. At 40, Junior can't hit, can't field, and the revelation that Junior was sound asleep during Saturday's 4-3 extra innings loss to the Los Angeles Angeles of Orange County has lead to speculation that Junior's days as a professional baseball player are about to end abruptly.

This is certainly not what the Mariners and Griffey envisioned when they mutually decided to re-up for the 2010 season. While Griffey didn't hit for average in 2009, he still finished third on the team in home runs, and provided countless game changing and game winning hits for a squad that exceeded everyone's expectations. And when you factor in the final week of the 2009 when Junior blasted 3 home runs over the Mariners final six games, there was hope to think he could at least repeat his 09 performance.

But five weeks into the season, Griffey has zero home runs, five RBI's, and only two extra base hits. When he's not grounding out to second, he's either getting fooled on breaking balls in the dirt, or taking good pitches that he used to send into orbit.

The sleeping incident is a microcosm of how the Mariners season has gone so far in 2010. Save for Ichiro and Franklin Gutierrez, the entire offense might as well be sleeping in the clubhouse during games.

This team was supposed to contend. They were supposed to have enough hitting to complement their stellar pitching staff and lock down defense. But the offense has been so monumentally putrid that any chance of the M's team playing in October could realistically be erased in the next ten days.

The Griffey dilemma is confounding for more reasons than just the obvious fan backlash that would occur if the M's released him or encouraged him to retire. Are the Mariners prepared to have 'Griffey Backwards Cap Night' on July 8 and not have Griffey on the team?

Since almost the entire offense sucks just as much, if not more than Griffey does right now, there really isn't anyone who could replace Junior and be considered an upgrade. There isn't a masher in AAA just waiting for his chance to crack the 25-man roster. And if you think Mike Sweeney is an option, then you probably also think Sarah Palin should be president.

Griffey deserves to go out how he wants to go out and on his terms. Junior is not brain damaged like Evander Holyfield who seems intent on dying in the boxing ring. Griffey doesn't need to play for a pay check or to guarantee Hall of Fame enshrinement. He's still playing because he loves the game as much as anyone and he feels like he can still contribute.

What happens next is anyone's guess. If the Mariners and Griffey can start hitting and start winning some baseball games, this will all be forgotten. If not, Griffey could always go the Jerry Johnson route.

After Johnson failed to make good on his threat to stick it in the Twins' face, he was immediately hired as the team's hitting coach following a crushing defeat to the Mariners in a one-game playoff tie breaker.

And who hit the game-winning homer for the Mariners?

Ken Griffey Jr.

Heaven I Need A Hug

When the Mariners swindled the Cubs this past December into taking Fats Silva for Milton Bradley, everyone agreed that GM Jack Zduriencik pulled off yet another brilliant heist. Silva's real market value was akin to a $5 gift certificate from Arby's. To get an All-Star caliber player for a pitcher who spent his first two seasons in Seattle buying up large quantities of Double Stuff Oreos with the $48 million former special needs child GM Bill Bavasi gifted him seemed unthinkable. (And just you wait Cubs fans, despite his good start, Silva is getting nice and plump to start posting lines that look like this : 2/3 IP, 8 hits, 10 ER, 4BB, 0 K's).

Sure, the knock on Bradley is that he's a walking time bomb, ala Britney Spears circa 2007-2008, but that's still infinitely better than Fats Silva requiring daily retrofitting of the clubhouse bench.

Unlike Kanye West and Ron Artest, the two people Bradley recently compared himself to, Bradley's actions genuinely seem to be in earnest. Kanye and Artest are all show, little substance. Milton simply cares too damn much. And that's what makes Bradley's cry for help so endearing.

There's something about Milton that makes you want to give him a hug and tell him everything will be alright.

While it appears the M's are going to do whatever they can to get Bradley the treatment he needs, one can't help but notice that this reactionary move may very well have cost the Mariners the season. For a franchise that has been widely recognized for its solid personnel decisions, the M's should have been proactive in dealing with Bradley. It's not like he woke up yesterday morning and needed help. He's needed help for years.

Like a troubled foster child being passed from foster home from foster home, Bradley has been passed from team to team (8 in 11 seasons). His undeniable talent is what keeps general managers to naively think that a change of scenery will solve Bradley's problems. And when his demons overshadow that talent, Bradley is discarded like an old MiniDisc player you found in a box that's been taped shut in storage for the last seven years.

At a dinner in January featuring Zduriencik and Mariners manager Don Wakamatsu as the guest speakers, I asked them how they planned on dealing with Milton should any issues arise. Both agreed that having a veteran clubhouse and a great role model in Ken Griffey Jr. would be keys to keeping Bradley under control.

That plan obviously hasn't worked.

In a perfect world, Bradley's saga will bring the Mariners together. Bradley will get the help he needs, come back and start hitting the way he did in 2008 when he lead the American League in OPS. Fueled by his return, the Mariners will charge their way to the AL West title they've coveted since the end of last season.

But the reality is that the Mariners just lost the only player in the lineup who has shown some pop in his bat over the last two weeks. There's no quick fix to replace Bradley's production.

For a team that desperately needed Bradley to be 2008 Bradley begin with, the M's need him even more now.

And for the first time in his career, Bradley needs the team just as much.

Gut Check

Following a solid 7-2 opening home stand to pull them to 9-7 on the season, the Seattle Mariners have sunk into an offensive abyss that is seriously threatening to derail their season in May.

A three-game sweep to the lowly Chicago White Sox last weekend, and now a three-game sweep to the inconsistent Texas Rangers has exposed how painfully bad the M's offense has become.

The Mariners lost all three games to the White Sox by one run. The Rangers forced the M's into submission this weekend. Two heart breaking extra-inning loses, combined with the rare poor performance from Felix Hernandez now has the Mariners three games under .500 with the Tampa Bay Ray and Los Angeles Angeles of Orange County coming to town next week. Think things are bad now? They could be ten times worse come next Sunday.

The most frustrating thing is that not only are most of these games winnable, but the Mariners starting pitchers have been so ridiculously good that it seems unfair that the offense and the bullpen continually waste the brilliant starts.

Everyone expected Hernandez to pitch at a Cy Young caliber level. But nobody would have expected both Jason Vargas and Doug Fister to be two of the American League's best pitchers over the season's first month.

Aside from trading for Adrian Gonzalez, there's little the Mariners can do to improve the offense. There are no big bats in the minors ready to add a boost to the lineup. But the Mariners offense, save for the two headed catching monster of Rob Johnson and Adam Moore, is capable of putting up better numbers than it currently is. Ichiro is the only player who has been consistently hitting. You have to figure these bats will wake up. Ken Griffey Jr. is going to start hitting home runs. Chone Figgins is going to start getting hits in bunches. These guys have been putting up numbers their whole careers. It doesn't just all crap out at once, does it?

Cutting Eric Byrnes had to be done. After finding a way to lose the game twice in the same at-bat on Friday, Byrnes followed up that performance with another 0-4 on Sunday. For all the praise heaped upon Byrnes for his "hustle" and "determination", the fact of the matter is that Byrnes may have put in one of the worst April's in baseball history.

Baseball fans regularly make comments like, "I could hit that pitch" or "I'm a better player than him". Unless you played Division I baseball, or spent time in the minor leagues, such remarks are about as believable as anything that comes from Howard Schultz's mouth. But Byrnes is the first player I've seen where I can honestly say that I could be just as crappy as him. Byrnes hit .094 with no home runs in no RBI's. Byrnes also missed every single ball he dove for in left field (there were many). While I'm the first to admit that my batting average would be .000, I'm fairly confident if you give me some adderall and some Mountain Dew and threw me in left field, I could suck as much as Byrnes.

The other component to the Mariners troubling past 10 days has been the bullpen. Brandon League, Mark Lowe and David Aardsma have all choked in numerous high pressure moments. Five out of the Mariners last seven losses have come from either League, Lowe or Aardsma. This can't continue to happen. It's like running an Ironman race and puking a quarter mile before the finish line, slipping on the puke and breaking your leg.

If the Mariners can win four out of the next six games, they will have seemingly gotten back on track. If they can't, then it's time to panic.