About Time

When Entourage premiered on HBO way back in July 2004, it was a groundbreaking comedic series that beautifully blended male bonding with Hollywood stardom, smoking hot chicks, booze and lots of weed.

Initially, Entourage was able to connect with its viewers in a way like few shows before or since. Vince, Drama, Turtle, E and Ari were all great because we knew them. We were part of that crew and we were along for the ride.

But at some point, the ride veered off the tracks, flew off a sixty-foot cliff, crashing to the ground in a giant fireball that charred a national park and all surrounding wild life.

The eighth and (thankfully) final season of Entourage was so bad that it should have been on the CW. It was almost like the writers went to rehab with Vince and never came out.

I wish I had an answer for why I continued to watch. Loyalty, I guess. Or maybe I liked being able to sit on the couch for a half hour and bitch about how each episode stunk more than an overturned Honey Bucket at a Train concert.

This ultimately poses the question: Can a show actually be considered a comedy if you don't laugh?

The series finale was full of the usual slop and absurdity that has marred this once great series for years. The least they could have done was bring back Sasha Grey and Alex, the marble mouthed tequila model, for a proper send off.

Even Emmanuelle Chiriqui's Sloan character became so grating that you feel bad that E undoubtedly will be forced to live in misery listening to Sloan bitch about everything for every second of every day.

If Entourage were a professional athlete, it would be Vince Carter. You were captivated by the respective brilliance for the first three years. And since then, you've been trying to figure out what the hell went wrong.

But it's important to focus on the good times. Over the last month or so, I've re-watched a handful of episodes from Entourage's first two seasons. It's so good in fact that I'd pit those two seasons up against the two best seasons from any comedy series in history.

The writing, acting and story lines are all brilliant. It completely sucks you in. The early episodes make you want the 30 minute episodes to become an hour.

It's just too bad they were unable to sustain that greatness.

Goodbye, Entourage. Don't let Adam Davies kick you in the ass.

Crying in a Bag of Peanuts

Last November, the Seattle Mariners lost their voice. Today they lost their smile.

The death of Rick the "Peanut Man" is yet another crushing blow to a franchise that seems to absorb more hard hits than Evander Holyfield.

Rick was a much a part of Mariners baseball games, as the Safeco Field grass (formerly Kingdome AstroTurf). Equipped with a pair of bright fluorescent wrist bands, Rick could launch a piping hot bag of salted peanuts across a section, seamlessly weaving it between spectators, and into the waiting hands of the intended target.

I've been going to Mariners games for over 20 years. Never once did I see Rick accidentally blast someone in the side of the head with an errant behind the back peanut bag toss. He always had a smile on his face and was quick to converse with anyone around him. More importantly, he always seemed to be enjoying the work. The latter is something to marvel about considering that Rick worked Mariners home games since their inception in 1977 and suffered through many more bad baseball games than good ones.

Rick became so steeped in Mariners culture that if you saw someone buying peanuts from another vendor, then it was a sure sign that the person was either from out of town, or had never been to a Mariners game.

Dave Niehaus left a permanent void for fans listening on the radio or watching on TV. Rick has left a permanent void for everyone at the park.

Board Games

When I was ten or eleven, I remember having a conversation with my dad about Marvin Gaye. He told me that for all of Marvin's talent, he was someone who had trouble with life. My dad said that as I got older, I would encounter people who simply could not figure things out.

Milton Bradley is one of those people.

And while Milton's demise as a Seattle Mariner has been greeted by most with great enthusiasm, I, for one, am not celebrating. Even before the M's acquired Milton in a still brilliant move by Jack Zdruiencik in December 2009, I was one of his bigger supporters. I remember being livid that the A's were able to get Milton from the Dodgers prior to the 2006 season. At the time, I felt like that deal epitomized the vast difference between a forward thinking team like the A's, and a team being run by a special needs GM.

Bradley's talent is undeniable, if not alluring. That's what's kept him in the big league for the past decade. But Bradley's personal demons have robbed him from ever having some normalcy in baseball. Those demons also robbed fans of enjoying someone who should have had a great career.

Milton has played on nearly one-third of the Major League Baseball franchises. And aside from his All-Star season in Texas, he wore out his welcome on every team he played for.

In Milton's final ten days with the Mariners, he got booted from two games for arguing with umpires. The first was while he was on second base in Boston on a play that had nothing to do with him. The second came this past Friday. Milton got a called strike on a pitch that was clearly out of the zone. I could see in his body language that this was going down hill. I turned to my buddy and told him Milton would get tossed. Sure enough, two more called strikes later, and Mt. Milton erupted.

Milton is an enigma. Between the baselines he can be an absolute menace. But in interviews he's soft spoken and incredibly insightful. For every great story you hear about him like this and this, he undoubtedly finds a way to cancel that out with a negative like this gem where Hall of Famer Eddie Murray says about Milton, "I don't like the way he treats people".

I really wish Milton could have figured things out in Seattle. He had to have known that this season was his last chance to stay in baseball for a few more years. He was playing for a new, albeit much smaller contract than the one he signed with the Cubs in 2008.

We wanted to see a focused, driven Milton. Instead, we got ear plugs and constant complaining to umpires about fans heckling him.

It's safe to say that Milton's lackluster performance at the plate the past three seasons, coupled with all of his other baggage will prevent every team that hasn't already taken a chance on him, to pass. There won't be a minor league contract. There won't be a team willing to see if there's a bullet in the chamber.

If there's any good to come out of Milton's baseball career ending, it will be that he can find some peace and happiness in his personal life.

Maybe Milton will finally figure things out. He deserves as much.

We're Playing Baseball...

I'm not sure if it's the miserable Seattle weather, the fact that the Mariners season will be considered a success if they finish .500, or Charlie Sheen (I've started to blame everything that feels off on good ol' Charlie), but my internal time clock is not in sync with Opening Day.

Regardless, it's time for my annual baseball predictions. Sometime in August, we can all look back and laugh at how wrong I was. Truth is, you're better off building up your Laserdisc library than putting any stock in the words that will follow.

But still I try...

AL West

1) A's
2) Rangers
3) Angels
4) Mariners

This comes down to pitching. The A's have a deep rotation full of young, live arms. The Rangers have C.J. Wilson. The Angels screwed the pooch on every big free agent and decided to save face by absorbing Vernon Wells Rulon Gardner sized contract. The Mariners won't be nearly as bad as some people are predicting. Their success is largely dependent on Jack Cust, Milton Bradley and Justin Smoak producing. Maybe I'm sniffing too much Sharpie, but I expect big things from all three.

AL Central

1) Twins
2) White Sox
3) Tigers
4) Royals
5) Indians

I've decided to stop betting against the Twinkies. They've never topped my annual prediction list for a myriad of reason. It's time to stop making excuses. They are legit. The ChiSox and Tigers will give them a good run though. Everyone talks about the Royals "amazing" talent that will start popping up in the big leagues this year. Keep in mind this is the Royals, so I remain very skeptical. The Mariners had a highly touted farm system in the early 2000's. But aside from that World Series Clint Nageotte and Travis Blackley carried them to, it really was a lot of hot air. Then there's the Indians who could very well be the worst team in baseball.

AL East

1) Red Sox
2) Yankees
3) Rays
4) Orioles
5) Blue Jays

In response to not making the playoffs, all the Red Sox did was go out and acquire two top-ten offensive players in Adrian Gonzalez and Carl Crawford. Their lineup is scary good. You could spent countless hours thinking up different lineup combination's. The starting pitching is somewhat suspect after Jon Lester. But it's not nearly as suspect as the Yankees. Tampa Bay will battle hard. As will the Orioles and the Blue Jays. This is hands down the most loaded division in baseball.

NL West

1) Giants
2) Rockies
3) Dodgers
4) Padres
5) D-Bags

The defending champs have too much pitching depth to not win this division. While Brian Wilson may have a crystal meth problem, and Miguel Tejada has somehow gone back to playing shortstop three years after he was deemed too old to do so, the Giants will benefit from a full season of Buster Posey, and the emergence of first base prospect Brandon Belt. The Rox did not make one meaningful offseason move (no, Jose Lopez does not count). They failed to make the playoffs last year. They will fail again this year. Over in LaLa Land, I'm still convinced Dodgers GM Ned Colletti must have way more dirt on sleazebag owner Frank McCourt than his ex-wife Jamie does. There's no other explanation for why he still has a job. It's a shame the Padres financial situation forced them to trade Adrian Gonzalez. Then there's the D-Bags who might have to trot out a limping Kirk Gibson to get any sort of publicity this year.

NL Central

1) Brewers
2) Reds
3) Cardinals
4) Cubs
5) Astros
6) Pirates

This year is make or break for the Brew Crew. Adding Shawn Marcum and Zack Grienke gives two frontline starters to go along with Yovani Gallardo. Even if Grienke is out for the first month, I still really like this team. The Reds won't go away quietly, and having the best hitter on the planet will help the Cards hang around. The Cubs are the NL Central Dodgers, while the Astros and Pirates will be lucky not to lose 100 apiece.

NL East

1) Braves
2) Phillies
3) Marlins
4) Mets
5) Nationals

The Braves have the most balanced team in the NL. Their doesn't seem to be an easy way to beat this team. They stole Dan Uggla from Florida for nothing. Jason Heyward should be even better in his second season. All the talk over the Phillies feared foursome has glossed over the fact that their offense at times looked as emaciated as Natalie Portman in "Black Swan" last year. They lost Jayson Werth. Now Chase Utley is out for an undetermined period. The Marlins should make things interesting, especially with power hitting stud Mike Stanton. The Mets are the Dodgers of the NL East (notice a pattern with storied NL franchises who have blown gobs of money on overpriced free agents, while neglecting player development). Then there's the Nationals. I'm sure their fans will have plenty to say when Jayson Werth produces an 18 home run season.

Playoffs

ALDS: A's over Yankees, Red Sox over Twins
NLDS: Phillies over Giants, Braves over Brewers

ALCS: Red Sox over Twins
NLCS: Phillies over Braves

World Series: Phillies over Red Sox

AL MVP - Robinson Cano
AL Cy Young - Felix Hernandez
AL ROY - Jeremy Hellickson

NL MVP - Albert Pujols
NL Cy Young - Cliff Lee
NL ROY - Aroldis Chapman

The Running Wolverines

With the NCAA Tournament Tournament set to put productivity in the work place to a halt, it seemed fitting that both ESPN and HBO aired two documentaries about two of the best remembered teams in Tourney history.

Over the past 18 months, ESPN has stepped up its long form productions with their "30 for 30" series. Although some were forgettable ( "House of Steinbrenner", "Marion Jones: Press Pause"), the large majority were very, very good (something remarkable considering ESPN continues to employ Rachel Nichols).

So naturally, hopes were high for "The Fab 5" - a very engaging piece on the 91-92, 92-93 University of Michigan men's basketball teams that featured 5 stud recruits who forever impacted college basketball.

Known as much for their baggy shorts, black socks and swag as for their play, Chris Webber, Juwan Howard, Jalen Rose, Jimmy King and Ray Knight could flat out ball. It seems odd that it's been 20 years since the Fab 5 burst onto the scene. But ESPN quickly reminds viewers just how good they were.

Webber in particular was truly a unique player. He was a phenomenal passer and ball handler for a big man. He could blend power and finesse in a way that very few, if any other basketball player has ever done.

But Webber declined to participate in "The Fab 5". The fallout from his false grand jury testimony undeniably has caused a huge rift between Michigan and the best basketball player in UM history (sorry, Rumeal Robinson).

So not having Webber's input on his time at Michigan leaves a major void in "The Fab 5". While Jalen Rose comes off like the poor man's Charles Barkley in the honesty department, the absence of Weber limits how effective this story is told.

HBO's "Runnin' Rebels of UNLV" is almost an homage to former UNLV head basketball coach Jerry Tarkanian's high risk, high reward leadership, rather than an examination on the Rebel's great 89-90, 90-91 teams. The latter would have been more preferable.

UNLV's two years of dominance resulted in a national title and an embarrassing loss to Duke the following year in the title game. They were brash, hard nosed and high scoring. But they also weren't abiding by NCAA regulations. Given the NCAA's arbitrary enforcement, this almost seems like an afterthought. And let's be honest, the Rebels weren't the only one's doing shady shit.

Despite ESPN devoting two hours to "The Fab 5", HBO could only muster an hour for "Runnin' Rebels". It seemed insufficient. And in many ways it was.

Like Chris Webber, Larry Johnson, the star of the great UNLV teams, did not partake in "Runnin' Rebels".

HBO Sports has set the standard for great sports documentaries. And this is may be the first time that they've fallen short of excellence.

Neither doc having the star player from those respective teams is like watching a Charlie Sheen webcast with just "The Goddesses".

It might be entertaining, but it's not enough.

"The Fab 5" - B+

"Runnin' Rebels" - B

And the Winner is...

On the night when Hollywood bestowed it's highest honor on the film industry, the Washington Huskies (Wo)Men's basketball team turned in it's version of The Razzies.

Playing their cross-state rival Washington State Cougars, or college basketball's answer to Cousin Eddie from the National Lampoon Vacation films, the Huskies turned in arguably their worst performance since the advent of the shot clock. The Dawgs shot 33 percent from the field, a measly 29 percent from three, and a paltry 62 percent from the charity stripe. Save for a brief comeback during the last 8 minutes of the game, the Huskies played like they were tripping on crystal meth.

So without further adieu, the envelope please....

Worst Actor - Matthew Bryan Amanning

Paying homage to his fellow countryman Russell Brand and his performance in "Get Him to the Greek", MBA finished the game with 14 points and 10 rebounds, very close to his season averages of 16 and 8. But the Brit had all of two points at halftime and he shot 3-11 from the floor. Like the rest of the team, his energy was on par with a corpse.

Worst Supporting Actor - Aziz N'Diaye

The big man from Senegal channeled his inner Pauly Shore to look even more lost on the court than usual. Other than being a big body on the floor, N'Diaye's game has consistently regressed since Pac-10 play started. He has the hands of Edward Scissorhands and Shaq's free throw skills.

Worst Actress - Venoy Overton

Everyone's favorite sexual deviant has become the Huskies Katherine Heigl. You just want him to disappear. The excessive expressions, the excessive turnovers, and the excessive fouls have become stale. When Heigl became a problem on Grey's Anatomy, they killed off her character. Luckily, Turnoverton is a senior.

Worst Supporting Actress - Terrence Ross

The freshman is a newcomer to UW/Wazzu rivalry. Pulling out something from Jessica Alba's filmography, Ross crapped out zero points on Sunday night. Enough said.

Worst Director - Lorenzo Romar

LoRo could have been mistaken for M. Night Shyamalan on Sunday. I love Romar as much as anyone, but the Huskies were simply unprepared for this game. That lies solely on Romar. This was a must-win game for a team that not too long ago, looked poised to make a serious run in March. Simply unacceptable in every way.

What's the Fuss?

When Carmelo Anthony and LeBron James entered the NBA together in 2003, many were calling them the next Bird and Magic. As Michael Jordan declared a third and final end to his career, these two captivating young future stars were expected to return the NBA to its 1980's glory days.

But despite the ESPN hyped rivalry between Melo and LeDouche, nothing has really come of it. They never met in the Finals, and have thus been relegated to the mandatory two games per season, plus All-Star Games.

And aside from arguably being two of the least intelligent showcased "stars", their careers bear little resemblance to each other.

LeDouche has become the singularly most despised figure in sports. He is also a force on the basketball court, combining dominant physical gifts with uncanny instincts. LeDouche bulldozed the Cavs to the 2007 Finals, and has captured the last two league MVP's.

In contrast, Melo has shown himself to be little more than a highly efficient scorer. He has never taken the Nuggets to the Finals. And he has never finished higher than sixth in MVP voting.

As Melo stands in the middle of the NBA's worst kept trade rumor, there is something important worth noting - Melo isn't that good.

Call him the "Slumdog Millionaire" of the NBA. Ever since he lead Syracuse to a National Championship, Melo has been thought of as a marquee player who will one day lead a team to the Finals.

This has yet to happen, and with the New Jersey Nets seemingly willing to cripple their already crippled franchise for years to come by trading a great prospect in Derrick Favors, along with Devin Harris, future draft picks, and some moving parts for Melo and his equally moronic wife, LaLa.

By all accounts, Melo's career is eerily similar to a former Nugget who could light up the scoreboard - Alex English. Neither Melo, nor English showed a knack for doing much else aside from putting the ball in the basket. The biggest difference between the two is that English did this much more efficiently, albeit to much less fanfare.

Offhand, I can name no less than 15 players who I would rather have on my team than Melo. So placing him on a Nets team that boasts a weaker supporting cast than the one Melo currently has in Denver, will result in little more than some early round playoff exits.

All along, Melo's desired landing spot has been rumored to be the Knicks. As evidenced by Amar'e Stoudemire's ascension to a god-like figure in The Garden, Melo would not only become a giant celebrilete on the Knicks, he would also position himself to be on a team that could legitimately contend for a title.

The caveat here is that unless the Knicks can work out a trade for Melo before the trade deadline (stupid for the Knicks considering the players they'd lose in Wilson Chandler, and Landry Fields or Danilo Galinari would hurt the team more than Melo would help), Melo would be best served by playing out his expiring contract with the Nuggets.

The other option is to accept a trade to New Jersey without signing a contract extension (very possible given how desperate the Nets have been to acquire Melo), then turning around and signing with the Knicks over the summer.

The Nets seem to be in the mindset that once in Jersey, Melo will fall in love with the place and decide to sign the extension. But even with their impending move to Brooklyn, and their billionaire owner Mikhail Prokhorov, Melo would be setting himself up for failure in...New Jersey (former New York Gov. David Patterson voice)!!!

New York is the best landing spot for Melo because he will get to showcase his offensive prowess in coach Mike D'Antoni's up-tempo offense, while deferring half the pressure to Amar'e. Melo will also be able to continue hiding the fact that he's not nearly as great as most people have made him out to be. It's a win-win.

And maybe we'll finally see the Melo/LeDouche rivalry materialize.

Hall of Shame?

Every year, the members of the Baseball Writers Association of America cast their votes for players they deem acceptable for entry into baseball's sacred haven - the National Baseball Hall of Fame.

Thanks to the recent boom in statistical analysis, coupled with the ever-increasing number of player's either suspected, or proven to have used steroids, the Hall of Fame debate has lead to endless debates.

The biggest criticism of the BBWAA's voting process is that many of the members will withhold votes against deserving players as some form of punishment for a) being a douche b to the media during their playing career, b) involvement in a unbecoming incident either on-field or off-field, or c) not having good enough numbers to be a first-ballot selection. (This might be the most absurd reasoning. If you're a Hall of Famer, you're a Hall of Famer. While time may give a better perspective on a playing career, it does not magically turn a player with a good, but not great career into a Hall-worthy candidate. Sorry, Bob Hamelin).

The 2010 election saw voters take a pass on Roberto Alomar because he spat at an umpire in 1996. In October of last year, there was an even more disturbing story claiming Alomar had unprotected sex with his wife, despite knowing he is HIV-positive.

We'll find out Wednesday if the latest drama surrounding Alomar will keep him away from the Hall for another year.

But until then, this certain non-voting member will cast his imaginary ballot into cyberspace. Enjoy!

Yes on:

Roberto Alomar - All controversies aside, Alomar was a spectacular second baseman offensively and defensively. Many sabermetrics statheads have claimed that Alomar's glove wasn't anywhere near as great as his reputation has lead people to believe. But as someone who witnessed Alomar rob countless seeing-eye-singles, I'll politely ignore the MIT geeks for now. Offensively, Alomar was a threat from both sides (that's what she said), and starred for two World Series teams in Toronto, along with some very good Baltimore and Cleveland teams in the late 90's and early 2000's.

Fred McGriff - This is one I really can't figure out. In his first year of eligibility last year, McGriff garnered just 21.5 percent of the vote. I even reached out to Mariners beat writer Larry Stone to ask why the Crime Dog wasn't getting any love. Stone chalked it up to McGriff playing in the steroids era and never hitting more than 37 home runs. But Stone also said he'd most like vote for him. And true to his word, he did. McGriff's career numbers are comparable to HOF members Willie McCovey and Willie Stargell, yet he got less votes than Mark McGwire. McGriff was one of the top power hitting first basemen for 15 years. He fell just seven home runs shy of 500. And by all appearances, McGriff played steroid free. My silent struggle to get McGriff into the Hall most likely will fail miserably again this year. But hopefully in time he will get his due in Cooperstown. He absolutely deserves it.

Bert Blyleven - I'm curious to know what Blyleven did on the 13 days when he found out he wouldn't be headed into the Hall. Did he sit by his phone like crazy Mel Gibson in "Ransom", ready to tell Jimmy Shaker to go kill himself? Well after falling just five overweight, overfed BBWAA member votes shy of election this year, it seems like a near certainty that Blyleven will finally get his due. Blyleven's career is an interesting one. He had some phenomenal seasons, sprinkled in with a couple mediocre one's, and a few full blown suck fests. He finished in the top ten in wins six times, losses nine times, and strikeouts a remarkable 15 times. Blyleven began his HOF quest some 13 years ago with a paltry 17.5 percent of the vote. He's just too close to be denied. Right?

Jeff Bagwell - In his first year on the ballot, Bags has gotten a decent amount of attention. There are a great deal of voters who believe he absolutely belongs. From 94-04, he was pretty much a lock for 30 plus home runs, 100 plus RBI and an OPS at or above .900. Bagwell also had a stellar glove at first. The knock on him is that although never implicated, he fits the profile of a roider (that profile being a burly white guy who hit a ridiculous amount of bombs throughout the 90's and into the 2000's). To exclude Bagwell because he "may" have been a roider, with no evidence pointing to him actually roiding is not only ignorant, but irresponsible.

Edgar Martinez - This is year 2 in Gar's journey to reach Cooperstown despite spending most of his career at DH. He had a solid first showing, getting 36.2 percent of the vote. But that's not even halfway to election. Those supporting Edgar point to the fact that he is one of 11 retired players to play 2,000 games and have a batting average over .300, an on-base percentage over .400, and a slugging percentage over .500. The 10 others are in the Hall of Fame. Those who don't, say his career numbers, mainly his 2,247 hits (157th all-time), along with the DH thing just aren't HOF worth enough. The DH thing is bothersome in part because a designated hitter is no more specialized than a closer. And unlike a closer, a DH has a far greater impact on a team throughout the course of a season. If Bruce Sutter can get in, so can Edgar. It will just take some time.

Missing the cut:

Mark McGwire/Rafael Palmeiro - It wasn't that long ago that this dynamic duo were considered locks for Cooperstown. It will be interesting to see if McGwire's roid confession will do anything to alter his candidacy. He's hovered in the low 20's every year percentage wise for voting. Palmeiro still insists he never took steroids. He came away from the 2005 Congressional hearings as the finger-waving winner of that melodrama. But then proceeded to test positive for roids and try to through fellow roider Miguel Tejada under the bus for it. And very much like McGwire before him, Raffy up and disappeared. McGwire at least has been welcomed back to the game. McGwire also has the nostalgic factor from the 98 home run chase. Palmeiro has nothing like that. Yes, he put up extraordinary numbers. But those now seem to be partially on account of Jose Canseco shooting roids into Raffy's butt. And if being a mustachioed liar wasn't bad enough. Those old Viagra commercials will surely close Palmeiro's HOF coffin.

Barry Larkin - Excellent career as one of the best shortstops and all-around players during his time. But Larkin wasn't Cal Ripken. He wasn't Ernie Banks either. He had some truly great seasons, especially 95-96. But he was also frequently injured. I really think Larkin's reputation as one of baseball's "good guys" has really skewed many voters opinions. Larkin's greatness can't be denied. His induction into Cooperstown should be.

Tim "Rock" Raines - In recent years, Raines has become the darling of the Sabermetric crowd. He possessed the rare quality of being a leadoff man who could hit for average, get on base, steal bases, score runs and was great defensively. Throughout the 1980's, he was like the Diet Coke to Rickey Henderson's Cherry Coke. (It's ironic that I bring up coke, because there was a time in the 80's when I'm pretty sure Raines tried to snort the first base line). But much like Barry Larkin, Raines, albeit very good, just isn't good enough for the Hall.

Unlike football and basketball, the baseball Hall of Fame has developed some pretty clear criteria that warrants induction. As the steroid era and further emphasis on sabermetrics blurs that criteria, nerds like me will continue to ponder HOF candidates validity.

Stupid Money

It's that time of year when baseball general manager's start acting like Michael Jordan's sons on a Vegas bender. Ah yes, it's the annual Winter Meetings where all of baseball's movers and shakers convene on a supersized hotel to throw out millions upon millions at generally undeserving players. Recession, resmeshion. If you spent time on a major league roster last year and now find yourself a free agent, there's a good chance your bank account will have a few extra zeroes in it.

Newly minted Washington National Jayson Werth should thank his agent Scott Boras for netting him what will one day (maybe tomorrow) be viewed as one of baseball's worst contracts. How a player who has three good seasons under his belt, and at 32-years-old gets locked up for seven years and $126 million is so far gone, it makes one wonder if Nationals GM Mike Rizzo has a serious drug problem.

The Nats lost 93 games last year. There is no reason to believe they will contend in the near future. Their prized prospect Stephen Strasburg's arm exploded after a handful of big league starts. They just lost their main power source in Adam Dunn to the Chicago White Sox for less than half of what Werth will earn.

And it's not like the Nats haven't seen countless $100 million plus contracts that have backfired terribly. Starting with the $105 million contract the Dodgers handed pitcher Kevin Brown in 1999, the list of players in the $100 million club seems like a cautionary tale. Mike Hampton. Jason Giambi. Carlos Lee. Carlos Beltran. Vernon Wells. Alfonso Soriano. Barry Zito. Even my beloved Ken Griffey Jr. makes this list for contracts that fail miserably to offer any significant return on investment.

The money isn't even the biggest issue. Player's salaries inflate every year. The problem usually is the length of the $100 million contracts. What kind of numbers will Wells and Soriano put up in the final year of their deals in 2013 and 2014, respectively? It's almost as frightening as imagining what Heidi Montag's face will look like then.

But despite all the bad $100 million plus deals that have gone down since Kevin Brown's, franchises continue to pull out their checkbooks without hesitation. Because as long as owners continue to try t0 one-up each other with their overpriced trophies, players will continue to flock to the highest bidder and continue to put up underwhelming numbers for the money.

G-Men

It's seems fitting that on a day when Randy Moss, arguably the most selfish and petulant athlete in recent memory, gets jettisoned from his second team in less than a month, that one of the great teams (in the truest sense of the word) in recent memory wins the World Series.

The San Francisco Giants captured baseball's ultimate prize with a patchwork lineup, brilliant starting pitching and a lock down bullpen. It reads a lot more simple than it was

Give credit to Giants manager Bruch Bochy who somehow got a lineup full of overpaid, underperforming veterans to buy into a team concept. Guys like Aaron Rowand and Pablo Sandoval who have seen better days playing-wise could have been poison to a clubhouse. Instead, they embraced their roles as bench players, doing whatever they could to help their team win.

Even Aubrey Huff, a player known around the league as being a "bad clubhouse guy", seemingly came up with big hit after big hit, only to lay down a bunt in a key situation in Game 5 of the Series to move runners to second and third.

The Giants starting pitching completely stifled the best lineup in baseball. The trio of Tim Lincecum, Matt Cain and Madison Bumgarner submitted three classic World Series performances.

In other words, the Giants are an easy team to like. Catcher Buster Posey seems like he was put on this earth to be a big league catcher. Closer Brian Wilson, he of the absurd black beard that is the West Coast's answer to Jimmy McMillan from the Rent is Too Damn High Party, has entered the upper echelon of baseball firemen. And then there's Lincecum - the pot smoking hipster, who was passed over by nine teams because of fears his small frame would break down before the Giants selected him in the 2006 MLB Draft (The Mariners determined a drafting a diabetic pitcher would be a better choice).

In an era where many teams spend way too much time obsessing over OBP, pitch counts and UZR, the Giants went out and showed the country what real baseball looks like.

The Giants struck out a ton. They didn't get on base much either. But they hit bombs and were anchored by outstanding pitching. The object of the game is to score more runs than the other team. Not get more walks. The Giants understood this as well as any team.

Six teams made the 2010 postseason. The Giants easily had the weakest lineup of the six. Yet what set them apart was that every member on that team knew exactly what was expected of the them and they understood their roles.

And now they're World champs.

As for the Texas Rangers, I for one am relieved that they crashed and burned in the World Series.

The way I saw it, unless Justin Smoak became Albert Pujols 2.0 and lead the Mariners to a World Series title, the Cliff Lee to Texas deal would forever go down as one of the most lopsided in history.

It would go something like this - the Rangers got Lee and a World Series. The Mariners got Justin Smoak and a rapist. Terrible trade.

It's bad enough the Rangers even got to the Series. They can thank the Mariners for that. But as a great friend once told me, almost only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.

Come next April, Lee will be in pinstripes, and the Rangers lone World Series appearance will be a distant memory.

Wedgie

The Seattle Mariners introduced their fifth field manager since July 2007 on Tuesday.

At this point the M's have become the baseball equivalent of the guy who always, no matter where he is in his life, has to have a girlfriend. You know the guy - he was the first kid in school to have a girlfriend in 4th grade, and could never be alone after that. Some relationships were pretty brief (John McLaren, Jim Riggleman, Darren Brown). Others lasted a little longer (Don Wakamatsu). Overall, none seemed too spectacular. And at the end of the day, the guy was no better or no worse off after they ended.

So now we're left to speculate on how the Eric Wedge era will play out. The 2007 AL Manager of the Year inherits a team that set new lows in underachievement and character. Wedge managed his share of underachieving teams, and even more underachieving players (Travis Hafner, 2008 Franklin Gutierrez). It's safe to assume he knows the drill.

During his press conference, Wedge remarked how the current Mariners are much farther along in the rebuilding process than the 2003 Cleveland Indians team he took over. That team was far better offensively than the Mariners are (not a hard thing to do when Michael Saunders isn't swinging at every breaking ball in the dirt). The current Mariners hold a clear edge in starting and relief pitching (even counting Ryan-Rowland-Smith, who hopefully will be getting a one-way ticket on Qantas Airlines).

For what the Mariners lack in offense, they come close to making up for it in young, explosive arms. It's safe to assume M's GM Jack Zduriencik will ship off some of those arms this offseason for a couple bats.

If all goes well, Wedge should have enough to at least bring the team back to .500 baseball. Wedge comes off as someone who is pretty intense, and won't put up with any of the crap the divisive Chone Figgins pulled last year under Wakamatsu.

While Wedge doesn't have the big ticket appeal of Bobby Valentine, or the sentimental value of Joey Cora (still seems odd to me that he didn't even get an interview), he is only three years removed from having the Indians one win away from the World Series.

And if that's not enough, Wedge looks 62, not 42 (the mustache doesn't help). He also gets points for raiding Dwight Schrute's closet, and for being Tom Niedenfuer's twin brother who was separated at birth.

Madness

Mad Men's fourth season began with Don Draper avoiding answering questions about himself from an Advertising Age reporter. It ended with Draper still refusing to address his own personal demons.

In between, we bore witness to a man seemingly intent on self destructing. Draper dapples in S&M, functioning alcoholism, and even stooping to a level he previously denounced - bedding the secretary (he took down two).

Season Four as a whole is arguably the series most in-depth and well rounded. I could go on way too long, detailing every episode. But I'll spare you.

What's driving me nuts is Sunday night's season finale. The episode starts with Don in bed, telling his new woman, Dr. Faye Miller, that he has a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. The lovely Faye encourages Don to come to terms with his past. The scene ends with a typical Draper make-out sesh, followed by him telling Faye that he's going to miss her while he's in L.A. with his kids.

Next thing you know, Draper is in L.A. with his kids, and defenseless secretary number 2 - Megan. And what d'ya know? Draper yet again seduces her. (Or maybe she seduced him with that french lullaby she used on his kids?)

Flash forward to Draper's West Village Bro Pad. Draper's in bed with the French seductress (and her oversized veneers). Out of nowhere, he tells her he loves her and proposes!

So Draper the hypocrite (remember Draper's disgust when the Silver Fox married his secretary?) continues to hide from his past. The French seductress is slightly smarter the Betty, but nowhere near as intelligent as Faye. (She's a doctor after all. But not a real one, according to Don).

Just when you think Draper is making major strides in his life, he goes ahead and does something ridiculously stupid.

I lay the majority of the blame for this abomination on Betty. If Betty didn't possess the maturity of a 10-year-old, then Carla would have joined Don and the children to L.A., as planned.

Does that mean we'd be looking forward to a Don and Carla wedding for next season? Hmmm...

Regardless, the finale was as shocking to me as last season's Dexter stunner. I keep telling myself this has to be a dream. But my Sopranos plot twists don't carry over to other series.

Faye (who coincidentally played Chrissy's wife on The Sopranos) was such a great character. A strong career woman who challenged Don is only good ways. Why does she have to leave Why? Why? Why!!!!!!!

What do you guys think?

Postseason Picks

I'm just getting ready to head out to the Safe for Game One of the ALDS...

Oh wait. My grandiose delusions have gotten the best of me once again.

Regardless, the 2010 postseason has the makings of something special. On display will be five of the best pitchers in the world (Roy Halladay, Tim Lincecum, Cliff Lee, CC Sabathia, David Price), along with four of the best rookies to come along in some time (Buster Posey, Jason Heyward, Neftaili Feliz, Aroldis Chapman). And what would the postseason be without the New York Jankees?

Here are my quick picks for Octember.

ALDS

Rays over Rangers - The Rangers have been a chic pick to go all the way. Since when did chic mean a iffy pitching staff after everyone not named Cliff Lee? Keep in mind that the Rangers went 21-6 in June and were a .500 team the rest of the way.

Yankees over Twins - Yes, the Yanks starting rotation is a mess after CC. But that lineup doesn't quit and the Twins starting rotation is no sure thing. Carl Pavano and the Yankees don't mix.

NLDS

Phillies over Reds - This will be quick and easy. Halladay. Hamels. Oswalt. Unless Johnny Cueto starts kung fu fighting again and takes out Ryan Howard, Chase Utley and Jayson Werth, this series will be over in 3.

Giants over Braves - The Giants will ride the trio of Lincecum, Cain and Sanchez in what should be a classic 5 games series.

ALCS

Rays over Yankees - The Rays are too balanced to lose this series. They don't have the Yankees offensive firepower. But their pitching, speed and defense will be too much for the Bombers.

NLCS

Phillies over Giants - Another classic in the making. While the Phillies hold a slight edge in starting pitching, there is a huge discrepancy between offenses. The Giants don't have any game changing sluggers, and Buster Posey is untested in the playoffs.

World Series

Phillies over Rays - A repeat of the 2008 Fall Classic. And we'll have a repeat in the results. Again we go back to the Phillies vaunted starting 3. It's too much for any team to handle. Even Brad Lidge can't screw this up.

Those classy Phillies fans will be puking all over each other with their second World Series title in three years.

Shattered Dreams

Wake up, Mariners fans. Your nightmare is over. Six months of the most god awful baseball one could imagine is thankfully kaput.

Even the most pessimistic pundits couldn't have imagined the Mariners crapping out another 101-loss albatross. The simple explanation for this disaster is that everything that could have gone wrong, went wrong. The hitters didn't hit. The relief pitchers didn't pitch. Don Wakamatsu didn't manage. Needless to say, the Mariners 2010 campaign is the most confounding season I've ever witnessed as a sports fan.

Rewind (as I did yesterday on my DVR) to the Mariners final game from last October. The magical 85-win season was capped off by a victory lap/Griffey lovefest that left every person in Safeco Field confident that the Mariners were headed on the right track. For the first time since Lou Piniella, the Mariners had a competent manager. Even more impressive was their new general manager, Jack Zduriencik, didn't insist in signing his name with crayons, or trading for players that peaked in 2003.

The prevailing thought was if the M's could make a few tweaks, they would add 5-10 wins t0 the 2009 total. And if that could happen, then you're talking playoffs. Good times, indeed.

So with that in mind, all Zduriencik did was trade spare parts for Cliff Lee, arguably the best pitcher in baseball at the time, coming off a memorably dominant postseason with the Philadelphia Phillies. Then Zduriencik shrewdly signed the pesky Chone Figgins away from the division rival Anaheim Angels of Tarzana. On paper the Mariners had the best 1-2 pitching combo in baseball with Lee and Felix Hernandez, along with the top two leadoff hitters in baseball at the top of their lineup in Ichiro and Figgins. We were well on our way.

Zduriencik addressed the hole in left field by trading Carlos Silva, his bloated contract, and his even more bloated waistline to the Cubs for Milton Bradley. Sure, Bradley was batshit crazy, but he also led the AL in OPS in 2008. From a talent perspective, this was like trading Jason Mraz for Billy Joel.

While the M's let 2009 home run leader Russell Branyan walk, citing his chronic back problems, his replacement, Casey Kotchman, appeared to be a much better contact hitter than Branyan. And like Branyan, a player who seemingly just needed a chance to thrive.

The only other notable defection from the 2009 squad was Adrian Beltre. But Beltre missed over 50 games in 2009 with a myriad of injuries. My personal fave was his stint on the 15-day DL for a "severely bruised testicle". While Beltre's glove proved invaluable, his .683 OPS didn't seem like a big hurdle to overcome.

The offense was never touted as a force. It didn't need to be. With the stellar pitching and defense from 2009, all the Mariners bats needed to do was put up 4-5 runs a game. It seemed so simple. Until it wasn't.

Well, we all know what happened next. In short, it goes something like this.

-Cliff Lee got hurt
-Eric Byrnes turned in arguably the worst month in baseball history
-Milton went crazy
-Junior took a nap
-Junior went on a permanent road trip
-Lee got traded
-Figgins tried to fight Wak
-Wak got canned

The only players on the entire roster who performed up to expectations were Felix and Ichiro. Call it bad luck. Call it bad personnel moves. Call it whatever.

The fact of the matter is there was a 2010 baseball season. The Mariners just didn't bother showing up for it.

I've heard people talk about how winning and losing are both contagious. After witnessing the Mariners 2009 and 2010 seasons, I'd say I agree with that statement. Taking that into consideration, it's pretty clear that the 2010 Mariners had a raging case of herpes.

Going Solo

I've long hoped that disgraced Grey's Anatomy cast member Isiah Washington would return in a cameo appearance to methodically gun down every blubbering character on that joke of a TV show. (Coincidentally enough, I'm told such a scenario, sans Isiah Washington, took place for this past season's finale. The gunman didn't kill any whiners though. So no luck there).

While watching Sunday night's Entourage Season 7 finale, I found myself hoping for Isiah Washington to bust through the door, guns blazing, only to put a fulfilling end to a completely unfulfilling season.

Entourage has gone from being a bro's answer to Sex and the City to a bra's answer to Grey's. Entourage is now a 30 minute melodrama that features more cameo appearances than The Love Boat.

Things have gotten so bad that Billy Walsh, once the most maddeningly obnoxious character on the show (actually Dom was worse), has become the lone bright spot.

Season 7 started with Vince having an on-set stunt accident, and ended with him in a hospital, badly beaten (by Eminem no less), in denial about his burgeoning drug problem, and possibly facing jail time after a cop finds his cocaine filled goody bag.

Literally every episode this season was so painfully bad that it became laughable. Real-life pornstar Sasha Grey as Vince's love interest? Turtle desperately trying to hawk tequilla for the affection's of A.J. Sopranos ex-fiance? Ari becoming a pariah for being Ari?

It's almost like the show's writers are purposely trying to see how stupid they can make the each episode.

Even Bob Odenkirk, who so masterfully plays sleazebag lawyer Saul Goodman on the phenomenal Breaking Bad, has gotten sucked into the Entourage abyss as Mark Cuban's... business manager? (Sidenote: Why does Mark Cuban all of a sudden have a Texas accent? He's from Pittsburgh.) (Additional Sidenote: Cuban should have been banned from TV shows following The Benefactor. This speaks volumes as to how far Entourage has fallen).

In 1986, Dallas answered for a dud of a season by saying it was all a dream. While fans were understandably upset that they wasted an entire season on nothing, they were glad the show had returned to it's winning formula.

Hopefully Entourage Season 7 is Vinny Chase's bad dream.

That's really the only explanation to a season that featured a Jordan Farmar cameo. Because at this rate, Fat Lever's phone could be ringing for a Season 8 guest spot as Turtle's new love interest.

Gone Wak

The best way to describe Don Wakamatsu's season and a half as the Seattle Mariners manager is that it was a torrid love affair that ended almost as quickly as it started.

Nobody could have predicted the Mariners would be struggling to avoid their second 100-loss season in three years. Nobody could have predicted Don Wak's swift demise either. Considering that absolutely nothing has gone right for the 2010 Mariners, it almost seems like a necessary evil for Wak to have to face the guillotine.

The Mariners now have their fifth field manager since July 2007. That number will surely become six at some point in October or November when interim manager Daren Brown is notified by M's GM Jack Zduriencik that his services will no longer be needed.

Many will opine that Wakamatsu had been managing on borrowed time ever since Ken Griffey Jr. bid adieu on June 2 (Black Wednesday). We'll probably never know the full story about what happened between Wak and Junior during Junior's final few weeks on the team. There obviously was some sort of communication breakdown.

The Griffey situation became more uncomfortable than your parents sexting. And when it finally culminated, it very clearly left the clubhouse alienated from Wakamatsu. Adding fuel to the fire was dugout scuffle between Chone Figgins and Wakamatsu that all but confirmed Wak had lost the team.

Along with determining in-game strategy, Wakamatsu's job as manager was bring out the best in his players on the field. That happened in 2009. But whatever Wak did in 2009, either didn't translate in 2010, or he simply changed as a manager.

Only Ichiro and Felix Hernandez have performed up to expectations. That means that every other player who's donned a Mariners uniform this year has failed. That's some pretty impressive futility.

A little continuity on the Mariners and Jack Z's part would have been nice. After last year's remarkable turnaround, it would have been reasonable to give Wak another shot at trying to repair his strained relationship with his players.

But Jack Z obviously felt otherwise.

Make no mistake, unlike most bumbling Mariners managers, Wakamatsu is incredibly bright and he hopefully will get another chance to manage a big league team. Don Wak deserves as much.

What Went Wrong?

At the MLB halfway mark, the Seattle Mariners season is more dead than Mel Gibson at a Lilith Fair concert. What looked like a team primed for a postseason run has turned into yet another rebuilding effort for a franchise that hasn't reached the playoffs since 2001.

Everyone knew that the Mariners would struggle to score runs. And while they have, few could have predicted the M's would have this much trouble. Getting the Mariners to put runs on the board has become the baseball equivalent to getting George Michael to stop crashing his car. It only happens on rare occasions.

What makes the Mariners 2010 season even more frustrating is that every single regular sans Ichiro has underperformed. Add Chone Figgins to the unimpressive list of Mariners free agent signees who screwed the pooch in northwest green and navy blue. Casey Kotchman seemed primed to finally fulfill the potential that made him a top prospect for the Angels. What he's shown proves why he's on his third team in less than a year. Milton Bradley was supposed to recapture his 2008 All-Star numbers, but all he's done is have a mental breakdown and struggle to keep his average above .200. The list goes on and on.

GM Jack Zduriencik made a surprise winner of the 2009 team by unearthing talent that other organizations had given up on. While it looks like Jack Z overplayed his hand by applying the same strategy on the 2010 squad, nobody could have predicted such offensive ineptitude.

Nobody expected Ken Griffey Jr. to hit 35 plus home runs as the Mariners designated hitter. But nobody could have foreseen Griffey hitting .184 with no home runs and retiring in a huff.

Griffey serves as a microcosm for the M's season thus far. Hoping for the best. Getting the worst.

But for all the commotion over how bad the offense has been, the achilles heel for the Mariners season has been the bullpen. The offense was intended to put 3-5 runs up per game, while the starting pitching, stellar defense and lockdown bullpen would take care of the rest. The offense is a big issue. The major issue and the primary reason why M's fans are suffering at record high rates (OK, just me), is the bullpen, stupid.

M's relievers have a 4.81 ERA. Good enough for worst in the American League. They are tied for the league lead with 13 blown saves. If the bullpen did what it was supposed to do, then you're looking at a team that's very close to .500, instead of 18 games under. Everyone in the pen from closer David Aardsma to mop up guys like Garrett Olson have sucked beyond belief. Throw in setup man Brandon League who routinely quits on the mound, and you've got a real problem.

Luckily, a bullpen is the easiest thing to restock and revamp. The Mariners have enough live arms in their minor league system that it's hard to imagine the pen being a problem going forward.

This brings us to last week's Cliff Lee trade, aka raising the white flag. Lee had to go because the Mariners stand a better chance of resigning John Olerud next offseason than they do Cliff Lee. To let Lee leave via free agency for two of the Yankees (Lee replaces Andy Pettitte who will retire after the Yanks win the Series) draft picks would have been ridiculously irresponsible on Zduriencik's part.

But Jack Z is a master dealer and he brilliantly struck a trade with division rival Texas for Lee. Even with Lee, the Rangers aren't going to the World Series. So while this trade strengthens the Rangers in the short term, it undoubtedly weakens them long term as they gave up their starting first baseman in Justin Smoak, along with three pitchers.

All indications are that Smoak will has a great career ahead of him. But he's a prospect. Casey Kotchman was a prospect too. So was Jose Lopez. Let's hope Smoak's path diverges from theirs.

What can't be denied is that what the Mariners got in return for Cliff Lee was far better than what they gave up (kinda hard not to do considering they gave up a kid who's hearing impaired, and a French Canadian selected by former GM - high functioning retard Bill Bavasi).

With the trading deadline just two weeks away, one could assume the Mariners will start trading any usable parts. But the sad truth is that right now Lopez Aardsma and whoever else you want to throw in that pack aren't worth more than a couple A, or AA fringe prospects.

George Steinbrenner's passing on Tuesday got me thinking about the cost of building a winner. The Yankees are seemingly in the playoffs every year thanks to their never ending payroll. Yes, they've wasted ridiculous amounts of money on players like Raul Mondesi, Gary Sheffield and Carl Pavano. But their recent signings of Mark Teixiera, CC Sabathia and A.J. Burnett, along with trades to obtain Curtis Granderson, Javier Vasquez and Nick Swisher have not only made the Yankees a better team, but also far younger.

The Yankees, along with the Red Sox spend money to make money. They've had competitive teams every year for the last 15 years. It makes for a great story when a team like the San Diego Padres, whose entire payroll is barely more than what Alex Rodriguez earns in a season, is leading the NL West. But the Padres, along with every other mid to small market team is going to have some good years and some bad years (unless you're the Royals, Pirates or Orioles and you always suck).

As long as the Mariners organization remains intent on spending just enough to give the impression that they're trying to put a competitive product on the field, there is no reason to believe the M's will be anything more than a team that produces a few solid years, mixed in with some really crappy ones.

Throw together some terribly poor performances on the field with the Mariners front office's refusal to up their payroll, and you've got what will ultimately be the fifth losing season out of the last seven in Seattle.

And that's Mariners baseball 2010.

Witness Protection

The LeDouche James free agency melodrama that ultimately culminated in his decision to um...take his talents to South Beach has created all sorts of reactions throughout the country. Cleveland fans are understandably irate, while the incredibly loyal Miami Heat fan base is beside itself. Everyone else seems to accept LeDouche for what he is - a phony who can now never be considered an all-time great player. Hurricane LeDouche tore through Cleveland at a ferocity not seen since the Browns left in 1996.

The issue is that LeDouche played Cleveland, the Cavs, and every team that courted him into thinking that they stood any chance of signing him. LeDouche has known for some time that he wasn't going to be playing in Cleveland long term. Why else would he force his way into free agency?

But instead of being a man and coming out and saying it, LeDouche lead everyone on like the hot girl in high school who starts getting rides from the poor schmuck who just got his driver's license.

The Cavs organization bent over backwards to put together a team of player's that could complement LeDouche. When he needed a point guard, they snatched up Mo Williams. When he needed some muscle after Dwight Howard manhandled the Cavs, they brought in the Shaqtus. When they desperately needed an all-star power forward to help them get over the hump in this year's playoffs, they made a deal deal for Antawn Jamison. And lest we forget about the humanitarian effort the Cavs made when they found a lover for LeDouche's mother.

Nobody understands what Cleveland's going through better than Seattle sports fans. We lost Randy Johnson, Ken Griffey Jr. and Alex Rodriguez in a 29-month span. But aside from losing a great player, we lost and ENTIRE FRANCHISE! (Yes, I know Cleveland lost the Browns temporarily. Seattle is not getting a NBA team in the next 10 years). Now Seattle is known as the best soccer city in America (yay!). Beat that.

LeDouche has received considerable praise for leaving $30 million on the table to sign with Miami. So in that regard, his situation is similar to Junior's. But Junior didn't force his way to the Yankees (or as my grandma's Puerto Rican care taker says, "the Jankees"). He forced his way to Cincinnati so he could be closer to his family. Instead of leaving home like LeBron, Junior went home.

Yet the overall feeling I get from this deal is reminiscent of Pay-Fraud's $252 million payday that followed months of Pay-Fraud talking about how much he loved Seattle and wanted to stay there. The Pay-Fraud deal was solely driven by money. LeDouche clearly is not. But the way both athletes carried themselves and put on a front for fans and other organizations is eerily similar.

Almost ten years later, Pay-Fraud still remains one of the most despised player's in baseball. Ten years from now, don't be surprised if LeDouche is held in the same regard.

A New Crown

Sports Illustrated runs a blurb in every issue called "Sign of the Apocalypse". It's aptly titled considering you'll see something like, "A Philadelphia woman refused to go to the hospital after going into labor during an Eagles game".

I fear that next week's "Sign of the Apocalypse" will be viewership for LeBron James' free agency special was higher than the State of the Union.

Now I must admit, LeBron has expertly milked his free agency for two years. The only thing missing is that he didn't offer his press conference on pay-per-view. I haven't been so anxious to hear an announcement since the classic Ruben vs. Clay battle in 2003.

Part of my anxiety stemmed from the uncertainty that live TV brings. ESPN devoted an entire hour in prime time for LeBron. I was hoping to see World Wide Wes perform a solo tap dance. Maybe even a couples interview like they do on "The Bachelor" with Delonte West and Gloria James.

In the end, LeBron chose Tony Montana over Joe the Plumber. Is that such a crime? You'd need a psych eval if you chose to live in Cleveland over Miami. But when you consider that LeBron is an Ohio native and the only thing keeping Cleveland afloat economically, it really makes you wonder how LeBron could leave.

The irony of this is that even with LeBron, the Lakers are still better than the Heat (the Celtics might be as well). Not only does the Lake Show feature a far deeper roster, but they have a better power forward than Chris Bosh in Pau Gasol, a LeBron stopper in Ron Artest and Kobe, who regardless of what the "experts" say, is the best player in the NBA.

LeBron now becomes the most hated basketball player outside of Miami. So along with his new team and his new city, I propose a new name - LeDouche.

Trading Places?

After my month-long moratorium on blogging following the dagger to the heart of my 2010 Mariners dream season, I figure it's time to switch gears.

The NBA free agent frenzy will hopefully move from rampant speculation to legitimate decision making in the coming days. The balance of power could shift to a super team that features a combination of LeBron James, Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh. Or we could see James and Wade stay put, with Bosh floating around as the wild card.

For the Cleveland's sake, it would be great to see LBJ stay put. But if LeBron does decide to bolt, the National Weather Center should create "Hurricane LeBron". The nightly news will show chopper shots of Clevelanders standing on their roofs, begging to be rescued. Cleveland will immediately become Detroit 2.0 and we'll see another Midwestern city go down for the count.

LeBron's legacy would also be greatly enhanced for showing loyalty to Cleveland. He's let this entire free agency hoopla take on a life of its own solely for his ego's sake. He could have signed an extension with Cleveland at any point. But James chose this path. It's hard to imagine his defection going over well with anyone except those who root for whatever team he potentially ends up with. King James could easily become the NBA's answer to Alex Rodriguez.

D-Wade's situation doesn't have nearly as much riding on it as LeBron's. While Wade is undeniably one of the Top 5 player's in the league, the city of Miami is not nearly as dependent on him. (They survived Bimbo Coles being traded, so they'll get by). And even more importantly, Wade peacing out would leave the Heat with just Michael Beasley and Mario Chalmers under contract. This would ultimately have to be made into a reality show called "Mario and The Bease", featuring the two hot boxing the Heat locker room while they openly mock Pat Riley's hair. Riveting TV.

What's gotten lost under all this free agent madness is how financially inept most NBA GM's are. Unless you put a value on pouty power forwards who can't rebound or defend, Amare Stoudamire is not worth $100 million. Nor is Joe Johnson worth anywhere near $120 million.

Why a franchise like the Hawks that is perennially bad (even their "good" teams of the mid-eighties couldn't get past the Eastern Conference Semis) feels compelled to give dole out $120 million to a guy who averages slightly north of 20 points a game, while struggling to shoot 45 percent from the floor is Example A of what's wrong with the NBA.

There are maybe 10-15 players in the NBA that aren't replaceable. If you play fantasy basketball then you understand that statement. What it basically boils down to is that 90 percent of NBA players will put up good numbers if given enough minutes. There are a few select player's whose production simply can't be replicated. But otherwise the parity is astoundingly similar. It's not coincidental that Flip Murray averaged over 20 PPG for the 2003-2004 Sonics when Ray Allen opened the season on the injured list. Flip got the minutes. Flip filled up the box score. Simple as that.

LeBron, D-Wade and Chris Bosh are three of the best in the league. Wherever they land, and where they don't, will be greatly affected for years to come.