One-Way Ticket to Japan

The Seattle Mariners spent the years 2004-2008 making mediocre and down right crappy baseball players very rich men.

Scott Spazio. Rich Aurillia. Richie Sexson. Adrian Beltre. Carl Everett. Jarrod Washburn. Miguel Batista. Jeff Weaver. Carlos Silva. Brad Wilkerson. And of course, Kenji Johjima. Hundreds of millions of dollars were showered upon these players who either completely failed to produce, or completely failed produce numbers in line with their enormous salaries.

So Monday's news that catcher Kenji Johjima would be returning to Japan, effectively leaving nearly $16 million on the table, it felt like some sort of karmic redemption.

Signed before the 2006 season, Johjima was touted as a solid offensive addition at a premium position. And while Johjima did produce good offensive numbers during his first two years in navy blue and northwest green, what offensive upgrade he provided, was negated by the fact that the language barrier between Johjima and fellow Mariners pitchers resulted in far more runs than Johjima could generate with his bat.

Johjima was a gimmick. A gimmick that got much worse once he signed a 3-year, $24 million contract extension, despite hitting .194 at the time.

The first Japanese catcher to play in the Major Leagues, Johjima presumably only garnered serious interest from the only Japanese owned baseball team (Hey, he can be a playmate for Ichiro!).

Let's get one thing straight: despite claims to the contrary, Mariners GM Jack Zduriencik is probably somewhere dipping Double Stuff Oreos in milk with Carlos Silva.

How often does a general manager get $16 million thrown his way? Michael Vick had to kill dogs in order for the Atlanta Falcons to recoup the money from his contract. The Knicks only got $2 million back from the waste known as Stephon Marbury.

Coming off a remarkable 85-win season, the Mariners are now flush with cash. Beltre, Batista, Washburn and Johjima are now all off the books. That's nearly $40 million Zduriencik has to play with. Johjima's departure is also significant because it means the only remaining bone headed contract from the Bill Bavasi era belongs to Carlos Silva.

The M's will now presumably look in house to replace Johjima. Rob Johnson calls the best game in baseball, but hits a baseball as well as Stephanie Pratt drives drunk. He's also undergoing more surgeries this offseason than MJ had in any given month.

Adam Moore has hit well in the minors, but didn't get enough at-bats during a late season call up to show he can hit consistently.

Fear not though. You know what's great about having the best GM in baseball? There's no reason to fear that he'll sign a non english speaking catcher.

Deadhawks

Despite hopes, aspirations and predictions that had the Seattle Seahawks returning to the NFC elite, it's clear the only thing relatively certain for this team is a top ten draft pick.

Six games into the Hawks 2009 season and two convincing wins have been tempered by three embarrassing blowout losses. This team, and even the organization has major fundamental issues that need to be addressed.

The offensive line has been a fatal flaw for the Seahawks since general manager Tim Ruskell screwed the pooch on the Steve Hutchinson deal in 2006. Naturally, you'd assume Ruskell would respond by signing another o-lineman. Nope. He decided to sign a wide receiver.

Ruskell wildly overpaid for the wildly overrated Nate Burleson - most believe it was retaliation against Minnesota for luring away Hutchinson. If it's any consolation, the Vikings haven't been the same team since Burleson left town. Put Burleson on their current roster and no doubt the Vikes are a NFC contender. Oh, wait.

And while we're on the subject, Burleson doesn't get a pass because he's from Seattle. I've heard way to0 many people talk about how "Nate reps for Seattle". Great that he reps for Seattle. If someone gave me $49 million, I'd rep for Kyrgyzstan. The simple fact is that the Burleson signing is a microcosm of what is plaguing a team that was in the Super Bowl four years ago.

Ruskell's subsequent personnel moves (T.J. Duckett, Julius Jones, Pat Kearney) are starting to make him look as intelligent as Balloon Boy's dad. And the whole thing with having Jim Mora as assistant to the regional manager of Dunder Mifflin never made much sense. Looks like Mora's year in training under Mike Holmgren really paid off!

Yes, the Hawks have been hampered by injuries. But every other team in the league has injuries too. What it comes down to is this Seahawks team is not very good.

And if the story of a franchise that felt emboldened by years of unprecedented success sounds familiar to Seattleites, it's because the same thing played out with the Mariners.

Lead by a new front office, the Mariners tied the record for most regular season wins in a season. Between 2000 and 2003, they averaged 98 wins a season. Then the bottom fell out.

The Seahawks underwent their front office overhaul in 2005. They made the Super Bowl that season and won the NFC West the following two years. Then the bottom fell out.

Both franchises had a formula for winning that made things seem so simple and so effortless. The problem is that the game isn't that simple. There isn't a formula for winning that will consistently work without modification. The Mariners and now the Seahawks failed to recognize that. Signing pricey free agents only works for so long.

Luckily, the Hawks have upcoming gimme games against Detroit, St. Louis, Tampa Bay and Tennessee. But a six win season doesn't cut it.

Upper management changes are necessary. Personnel changes are necessary.

This is going to get worse before it gets better.

Mariners Memories: 2009 Edition

Since my weeks are no longer filled with Mariners baseball, it only seems fitting to get nostalgic on the main reason why my writings have been so sporadic.

At the beginning of the season, I set a goal to attend 40 games. I made 42. This was solely due to Ken Griffey Jr.'s triumphant return to Seattle. And while I still saw way too many games featuring Mike Sweeney at DH instead of Junior, I definitely got my fix of Junior moments - plus a few others along the way.

So without further adieu, here are my top 9 moments from the 2009 Mariners. A new day. A new way.

9. July 9th - Franklin Gutierrez's 3-run bomb with 2 outs in the bottom of the 8th was all the M's needed in this one as Felix Hernandez battled through 8 innings of 3-hit ball to get the much deserved win.

Guess who took a 2-out walk to put Guti in position to launch his funk blast?

8. Men At Work - It only seemed fitting that on the hottest day in Seattle history, the Mariners threw their Australian import, Ryan Rowland-Smith, for the Wednesday day game at the Safe. Clearly accustomed to the extreme heat, R.R Smith was perfect through 6 innings. Aaron Hill promptly lead off the 7th with a screaming single. Then Aaron Lind belted a 2-run bomb. Just like that, the Jays were up 2-1, and they had Roy Halladay pitching. Not good.

In the bottom of the 7th, the M's got three singles to load the bases for Junior. The entire at-bat I'm thinking, "Please don't embarrass yourself here, Junior." All Junior does is crush a double (his second of the game) to right against one of the best pitchers in baseball to put the M's up 3-2. Ball game.

7. Opening Night - The marketing geniuses love to pump up how there's a difference between the home opener (day game) and opening night (night game). Following their exciting win in the home opener, the M's left nothing to chance as they absolutely annihalated LAAOC.Rocking Jackie Robinson's number 42 jersey that he helped make a league standard on Jackie Robinson Day, Junior went back-to-back with Endy Chavez. The homer gave Griffey 400 as a Mariner. And to put an exclamation point on things, in his first game of the season, Ichiballz belted a grand slam in the 7th to blow the game open. An awesome night.

6. Langerhans, Turn Out The Lights - This one was memorable for a few reasons. The first being that it was Junior Bobblehead Night. I made every attempt to make sure I was at the Safe early enough to get a bobblehead. Turns out an hour and a half early doesn't cut it. The M's opened the gates at 4:30 (gates typically open at 5) because too many fans showed up early. I was SOL, until a guy heard me remark to my buddy that I would pay $50 for a Junior bobblehead. The guy turned around and said he just sold one of his for $20, so he'd gladly sell the other for $50. A bargaining session ensued and I walked away saying I wouldn't go over $30 for it. A minute later, the guy comes barreling after me saying he'll take the $30 so he can have beer money. It turned out to be a bargain.

Back to the game, Junior being Junior goes yard to spark a 4-run 7th inning, tying the game at 5 apiece.

The M's took it into extras, and Sean Kelley being Sean Kelley gave up a home run to Jason Bartlett in the 11th to make it 6-5, Rays.

Guti lead off the bottom of the 11th with a walk. Two quick outs left Ryan Langerhans and his .232 career batting average as the M's final hope. I determined it would be better to beat traffic than to see Langerhans strike out, so I directed my posse to leave. As soon as we stepped out the gates onto Edgar Martinez Way, we heard the crowd erupt. Everyone looked at each other. I quickly pulled up the score on my phone. Langerhans hit a 2-run walk-off bomb. M's win 7-6. Game over.

5. Langerhans, Turn Off The Lights....AGAIN! - Ryan Langerhans hit 3 home runs all season as a seldom used reserve. What are the chances that 2 of those 3 are walk off jobs. At the game with my two young cousins and my uncle, we were about to peace out for a late night Red Robin run. But with Langerhans coming up, I figured it might be worth staying this time. Sure enough, Langerhans delivered once again. Luckily, I got to see this one.

4. In a Pinch - The M's chances looked pretty weak down 3-0 going into the bottom of the 8th against Arizona on June 19. But a Russell Branyan home run narrowed the Dbags lead to 3-1. An Adrian Beltre single was followed by two quick outs. That's when Junior stepped to the plate, replacing Bad Wlad Balentien.

Junior's 2-run bomb tied the game at 3 apiece, and Rob Johnson's go-ahead triple secured the 4-3 win for the M's.

3. Randy's Return - While Junior is unquestionably the greatest Mariner ever, Randy Johnson is the franchise's greatest pitcher. M's fans got a chance to watch vintage Randy for 5 1/3 innings as he struck out 7, before running out of gas in the 6th. The standing ovation Randy got in what looks like his final outing in Seattle was a touching moment for the man whose arm the M's rode to two AL West titles in 3 years. Jose Lopez's walk-off single got Mercer Island's Sean White his first win of the season.

2. The home opener - Everyone was there to see Junior, and of course he singled in his first at-bat (would you expect anything less?). But it was a team effort, complete with a rare quality start for Carlos Silva (a Double Stuff Oreo overdose would put him on the DL for almost the entire season) , and a 10th inning win over LAAOC. Classic 2009 M's baseball.

1. The End? - Very few great professional athletes get to end their careers properly. Michael Jordan spent two miserable non-playoff seasons as a Washington Wizard. Convinced he still had something left, Rickey Henderson played two years of independent league baseball. The list goes on.

So for Ken Griffey Jr., the chance to not only return to Seattle, but to do it as the most revered (steroid free) player from his generation and a local hero seemed too good to be true.

As for the game, the M's staked a 3-run lead in the 5th that Texas could not make up.

In his final at-bat of the season, Junior laced a vintage single up the gut. The standing ovation that followed after he was removed for a pinch runner was incredibly moving.

But after the win, the love fest that took place on the field between the players and in the stands with the fans was remarkable. Very rarely do teams take clubhouse celebrations onto the field. And it's even more rare for a third place team to do it.

Junior being hoisted on his teammates shoulders was well deserving for the man who saved baseball in Seattle. It was on par with the final scene from "Rudy". Let's hope this fitting end to the season was not marking the end to a brilliant career.

Needless to say, it was a helluva season. One filled with many life long memories.

On a final note, I'd like to thank everyone who took me to a game, or went to a game with me this season. Being able to share these moments with some of my favorite people was truly a gift.

Until next year.

Looking Towards 2k10

Every year, plenty of professional sports teams rebound from a terrible season to either get back to respectability, or even contend for a championship.

In baseball, the 2008 Tampa Bay Rays went from the MLB equivalent of "Cougar Town" to an AL pennant.

But the Rays turnaround was years in the making - largely built on a decade of crappy teams and high draft picks.

Same goes for 99 percent of pro sports teams. It generally takes years to rebuild.

That's what makes the 2009 Seattle Mariners so special. Following a 101-loss disaster in 2008, that included managerial and GM firings, and a proposed assault on Ichiro, most figured it would take 3-4 years at a minimum to get the franchise on the right track.

Not quite. It took 12 short months for the Mariners to improve by 24 wins. Most importantly, the entire organizational philosophy and attitude has undergone a dramatic overhaul. Gone are the over priced wastes of space like Richie Sexson, Scott Spazio and Joser Vidro, who played solely for a pay check, and cared as much about winning as Amy Winehouse cares about getting sober.

From the top to the bottom, GM Jack Zduriencik and manager Don Wakamatsu orchestrated one of the greatest third place finishes in sports history.

But for as great as 2009 was. The followup performance will have to be that much greater. And with potential gaping wholes throughout the lineup, it is up to Zduriencik to continue his adept wheeling and dealing and make the M's a legitimate playoff contender .

The good news for the 2010 Mariners is that the starting rotation and bullpen have the potential to be one of the best in baseball. Felix Hernandez's long awaited breakout season gives the M's a bona fide number 1 starter. If Brandon Morrow can pitch as well as he's capable of pitching and Ryan Rowland-Smith and Ian Snell continue to improve, the M's rotation will be a force.

The bullpen, anchored by Mark Lowe's 101 MPH gas and David Aardsma is arguably one of the most intimidating setup/closer duo's in baseball.

After that, the only certainty in the lineup is that Ichiro will get 200 hits. Lingering questions about the futures of Adrian Beltre, Russell Branyan and the Ken Griffey Jr./Mike Sweeney DH combo, leaves the middle of the M's batting order in flux.

Can Jose Lopez feed off his great second half and finally put together a full season of superb hitting from the second base position? Will Lopez even be playing second base in 2010? What is going to happen with Jack Wilson and his $10 million option?

In a perfect world, Beltre, Branyan and Griffey/Sweeney will all be back in 2010. Why? Because they produce, and there aren't better options available.

For all the flack Griffey got for his batting average that rarely went north of .220 all season, he still hit 19 home runs and knocked in 57 runs, while only playing in 2/3 of the M's games. Junior consistently performed in the clutch. I watched countless games where Griffey hit a home run to either tie the game of give the M's the lead. What about the times Junior worked a walk that eventually lead to a run that scored? Or when Junior moved runners over that ultimately came around to score? Not to mention his undeniable affect on the clubhouse.

When you add Junior and Sweeney's power numbers, you get 27 home runs and 91 RBI's. That's solid production from the DH spot.

Due to various injuries (and nearly losing a testicle), Adrian Beltre didn't come close to his typical .274, 24, 87 seasonal averages. Belly's defense at third is the best in the AL. He's not worth anywhere close to the 5-year $64 million contract Bill Bavasi showered on him in 2004. But Beltre would be well worth $10 million per for a couple years.

It will be interesting to see what Branyan commands on the open market. Playing full-time for the first time in his career, Short Bus Russ was robbed of an All-Star Game appearance. But his second half was Sexson-esque. Branyan hit almost 100 points lower post All-Star Break and his OPS was almost 270 points higher in the first half of the season. Not to mention the fact that a herniated disk kept him from finishing August.

Branyan was a steal at $1.4 million for one year. But he'll be 34 in December. Anything more than a 2-year deal at more than $3 million a year would be a huge gamble for a guy who has never played a full season.

So that leaves shortstop, left field and catcher as the three positions that have to be upgraded offensively. And truth be told, Rob Johnson is so good at catching Mariners pitchers, that it might be worth sucking up his putrid offensive numbers.

But left field and shortstop absolutely have to improve on offense. The M's can't expect to contend with a lineup that is essentially 6 batters strong. Jack Wilson is a defensive stud, but potentially an offensive liability. In his short stint with the M's, Wilson couldn't hit and couldn't stay healthy. Zduriencik is too shrewd to pick up the $10 million option on Wilson. But a short-term deal worth considerably less should at least be entertained.

That means everything depends on left field. The Mariners could wish on a star and hope that a) Michael Saunders learns how to hit on a big league level, or b) Billy Hall can recapture his power stroke that netted him 35 bombs in 2006.

Neither scenario is very likely. And free agents to be like Matt Holliday and Jason Bay are going to be pricey and are both ill suited for Safeco Field.

Yet, this is what makes the off season so exciting. Nobody had any idea that Jack Z was capable of unearthing hidden All-Star talent at first base, centerfield and in the closer slot.

If Zduriencik can duplicate his 2008 off season, the 2010 Mariners will be playing deep into October.

A Dawg Day Afternoon

Last Saturday was Rosh Hashannah. Signaling the start of the new year on the Hebrew calendar, Rosh Hashannah is intended to be a celebration filled with family, food and synagogue.

Fittingly enough, last Saturday also marked a new beginning for the Washington Huskies football program.

But this story starts a week earlier at the UW/Idaho game. During the game, my dad informed me that he wouldn't be going to the USC game because he'd be in synagouge, observing Rosh Hashannah. (Just a quick background on my dad, he specializes in Jewish High Holidays, attending funerals and animal rescue. So as much as I wanted to go to the USC game with him, I knew it wouldn't happen).

When my dad seemed apathetic about me attending synagouge with him, it got me thinking that the Husky game, and the slim chance they could knock off USC, potentially could be one of the best sporting experiences of my life. Could I really pass that up for three hours in a synagouge that smells like old people?

The only hurdle was my mother, who god bless her, has mastered the art of Jewish guilt. While my dad relishes life's more morbid events, my mom puts her engergies into more simple affairs - like Rosh Hashannah brunch.

Upon breaking the news to her that I was forgoing her beloved brunch in favor of a college football game, she replied, "If I die this year, you'll always think about how you missed my brunch!". Thanks, mom!

What went down at Husky Stadium last Saturday is nothing short of miraculous. In ten short months, the Huskies, led by new savior Steve Sarkisian, have completely reshaped what was arguably the worst college football program in the country.

Last year's 0-12 debacle, followed by the 2009 rebirth speaks volumes about just how poor a coach Tyrone Willingham was. Willingham is a miserable person. He made the Huskies miserable. He made every Husky fan miserable.

Before this season started, my feelings towards football as a whole were slightly above apathetic. I blame Tyrone for that. Spending the last four years watching the Huskies get embarrassed week after week was like being forced to watch a Grey's Anatomy marathon.

Luckily that nightmare is over. Husky Football is back.

The Dawgs might not be the most talented team. They might not have blue chip recruits on the bench, or throngs of boosters dolling out cash to their players (ahem, Reggie Bush).

But what they do have is a coach who is committed to winning, and winning now. They have a me against the world attitude that is infectious. And now they know they can beat one of the best team's in the country.

The confidence the Husky players have after the USC win will undoubtedly fuel them for the rest of the season.

Experiencing the euphoria of the Huskies shocking college football and celebrating with some of my best friends is something I'll never forget.

And while my mom is still pissed, I know going to the game was a far better choice than spending the afternoon oddly fixated upon how well my great uncle's toupee lays on his head.

Happy New Year!

I Love This Team

Despite injuries, an offense that at times hits Ryan Seacrest's weight and a severe lack of talent, the 2009 Seattle Mariners continue to exceed all expectations.

Wednesday afternoon's 3-0 win over the Los Angeles Angels of Orange County and The Valley (LAAOCTV), epitomized the grit and desire the M's have shown throughout the entire season.

King Felix was sensational on Wednesday. Eight shutout innings of four-hit ball against a very formidable Angels lineup is the kind of a performance very few big league pitchers can pull off. Felix is quickly becoming a bonafide number one starter. And with his 14th win (ties a career high), plus his 2.65 ERA (second in the AL) Felix has earned the right to be in the Cy Young discussion.

Few people gave this team a fighting chance. Two games into September, the Mariners are six games over .500, and hanging on by mere tenths of percentage points in the Wild Card and AL West race.

From 2004-2008, the M's were a franchise built on over priced free agents who regularly performed on the field like Year One performed at the box office.

Needless to say, being a Mariners fan during the bad years was painful. Even the 2007 team that somehow pulled 88 wins out of its ass wasn't a team worth rooting for. Almost everyone knew those 88 wins were a mirage - a front for a team that was about to collapse.

Sure enough that's exactly what happened in 2008.

Enter new GM Jack Zduriencik and a new organizational philosophy. In 10 months, Zduriencik has compiled a roster full of players that other teams gave up on. The same kind of players the Mariners used to give up on, only to have them succeed with other franchises.

Cleveland saw no need for Franklin Gutierrez. David Aardsma and Russell Branyan could have been anonymous in the independent leagues. Zduriencik got all three for next to nothing.

The Brewers are paying the Mariners to have Billy Hall on the team. All he did Wednesday was knock in the game's first run on a double, steal third and score the M's second run.

Look up and down the M's roster and it's full of guys that were written off, and young players trying to show their value.

On Tuesday, rookie Doug Fister threw seven solid innings of one run ball. Four of Fister's five big league starts have been quality starts. Think the 6-foot 8-inch righty isn't in the M's plans for 2010? (Can we just say that Doug Fister is one of the all-time great porno star/athlete names? The only thing that might top that would be Doug Pokerface. As of now, I'm heavily leaning towards Fister.)

Add in the legend known as Ken Griffey Jr. and a great field manager like Don Wakamatsu, and there really is no reason not to like the 2009 Mariners.

Today's sports landscape is overcrowded with overpaid prima donnas, punks who only care about individual numbers and genuine douche bags who will say anything that sounds good (Pay-Fraud).

This Mariners team has none of that.

They may not win a World Series or even make the playoffs. The record books will most likely show them placing third in a four team division. But for the entire season, the Mariners have consistently found ways to win when they shouldn't have. They've fully embraced what it means to be a part of a team.

At various points in 2009, the M's have been down. But they've never considered themselves out.

And that's something worth rooting for.

Hung

This season of Entourage appears headed for the biggest one year drop-off since Ben Wallace stopped taking roids and pulling down 15 boards a game. It's about as entertaining as Fonzworth Bentley. And if that wasn't enough, they brought back E's cute little alien girlfriend to spice things up!

With four episodes left in Season 6, there's still no story arc. (I refuse to accept that it's E's love life or Ari's troubles with his unfaithful employee, the worthless Andrew Klein).

Luckily, the show that proceeds it, Hung, is quickly becoming one of TV's most entertaining comedies. Think American Gigolo meets Breaking Bad meets Weeds and you've got Hung.

Like Breaking Bad and Weeds before it, Hung revolves around the main characters compounding financial problems, and the illegal, yet amusing actions taken to address their monetary woes.

Maybe the concept isn't incredibly original, but Hung, masterfully takes viewers inside the minds of its two principle anti-hero's - Ray Drecker and Tanya "T-Brain" Skagel.

Ray is the classic high school stud turned burnout. T-Brain is the classic poetry dork. Together they form Happiness Consultants - a one man whore brigade powered by Ray and fronted by T-Brain.

Set in suburban Detroit (Where else would a man whore be lurking?), Hung is as awkward as it is endearing. You root for Ray and T-Brain because they are about as real as TV characters can get.

Throw in Anne Heche as Ray's ex-wife, the nervous guy from the Ocean's Eleven trilogy and two of the oddest looking child actors around (Ray's son Damon has the best Pete Rose haircut since Pete Rose), and you've got something to make you partially forget just how crappy Entourage has been.