Stupid Money

It's that time of year when baseball general manager's start acting like Michael Jordan's sons on a Vegas bender. Ah yes, it's the annual Winter Meetings where all of baseball's movers and shakers convene on a supersized hotel to throw out millions upon millions at generally undeserving players. Recession, resmeshion. If you spent time on a major league roster last year and now find yourself a free agent, there's a good chance your bank account will have a few extra zeroes in it.

Newly minted Washington National Jayson Werth should thank his agent Scott Boras for netting him what will one day (maybe tomorrow) be viewed as one of baseball's worst contracts. How a player who has three good seasons under his belt, and at 32-years-old gets locked up for seven years and $126 million is so far gone, it makes one wonder if Nationals GM Mike Rizzo has a serious drug problem.

The Nats lost 93 games last year. There is no reason to believe they will contend in the near future. Their prized prospect Stephen Strasburg's arm exploded after a handful of big league starts. They just lost their main power source in Adam Dunn to the Chicago White Sox for less than half of what Werth will earn.

And it's not like the Nats haven't seen countless $100 million plus contracts that have backfired terribly. Starting with the $105 million contract the Dodgers handed pitcher Kevin Brown in 1999, the list of players in the $100 million club seems like a cautionary tale. Mike Hampton. Jason Giambi. Carlos Lee. Carlos Beltran. Vernon Wells. Alfonso Soriano. Barry Zito. Even my beloved Ken Griffey Jr. makes this list for contracts that fail miserably to offer any significant return on investment.

The money isn't even the biggest issue. Player's salaries inflate every year. The problem usually is the length of the $100 million contracts. What kind of numbers will Wells and Soriano put up in the final year of their deals in 2013 and 2014, respectively? It's almost as frightening as imagining what Heidi Montag's face will look like then.

But despite all the bad $100 million plus deals that have gone down since Kevin Brown's, franchises continue to pull out their checkbooks without hesitation. Because as long as owners continue to try t0 one-up each other with their overpriced trophies, players will continue to flock to the highest bidder and continue to put up underwhelming numbers for the money.

G-Men

It's seems fitting that on a day when Randy Moss, arguably the most selfish and petulant athlete in recent memory, gets jettisoned from his second team in less than a month, that one of the great teams (in the truest sense of the word) in recent memory wins the World Series.

The San Francisco Giants captured baseball's ultimate prize with a patchwork lineup, brilliant starting pitching and a lock down bullpen. It reads a lot more simple than it was

Give credit to Giants manager Bruch Bochy who somehow got a lineup full of overpaid, underperforming veterans to buy into a team concept. Guys like Aaron Rowand and Pablo Sandoval who have seen better days playing-wise could have been poison to a clubhouse. Instead, they embraced their roles as bench players, doing whatever they could to help their team win.

Even Aubrey Huff, a player known around the league as being a "bad clubhouse guy", seemingly came up with big hit after big hit, only to lay down a bunt in a key situation in Game 5 of the Series to move runners to second and third.

The Giants starting pitching completely stifled the best lineup in baseball. The trio of Tim Lincecum, Matt Cain and Madison Bumgarner submitted three classic World Series performances.

In other words, the Giants are an easy team to like. Catcher Buster Posey seems like he was put on this earth to be a big league catcher. Closer Brian Wilson, he of the absurd black beard that is the West Coast's answer to Jimmy McMillan from the Rent is Too Damn High Party, has entered the upper echelon of baseball firemen. And then there's Lincecum - the pot smoking hipster, who was passed over by nine teams because of fears his small frame would break down before the Giants selected him in the 2006 MLB Draft (The Mariners determined a drafting a diabetic pitcher would be a better choice).

In an era where many teams spend way too much time obsessing over OBP, pitch counts and UZR, the Giants went out and showed the country what real baseball looks like.

The Giants struck out a ton. They didn't get on base much either. But they hit bombs and were anchored by outstanding pitching. The object of the game is to score more runs than the other team. Not get more walks. The Giants understood this as well as any team.

Six teams made the 2010 postseason. The Giants easily had the weakest lineup of the six. Yet what set them apart was that every member on that team knew exactly what was expected of the them and they understood their roles.

And now they're World champs.

As for the Texas Rangers, I for one am relieved that they crashed and burned in the World Series.

The way I saw it, unless Justin Smoak became Albert Pujols 2.0 and lead the Mariners to a World Series title, the Cliff Lee to Texas deal would forever go down as one of the most lopsided in history.

It would go something like this - the Rangers got Lee and a World Series. The Mariners got Justin Smoak and a rapist. Terrible trade.

It's bad enough the Rangers even got to the Series. They can thank the Mariners for that. But as a great friend once told me, almost only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.

Come next April, Lee will be in pinstripes, and the Rangers lone World Series appearance will be a distant memory.

Wedgie

The Seattle Mariners introduced their fifth field manager since July 2007 on Tuesday.

At this point the M's have become the baseball equivalent of the guy who always, no matter where he is in his life, has to have a girlfriend. You know the guy - he was the first kid in school to have a girlfriend in 4th grade, and could never be alone after that. Some relationships were pretty brief (John McLaren, Jim Riggleman, Darren Brown). Others lasted a little longer (Don Wakamatsu). Overall, none seemed too spectacular. And at the end of the day, the guy was no better or no worse off after they ended.

So now we're left to speculate on how the Eric Wedge era will play out. The 2007 AL Manager of the Year inherits a team that set new lows in underachievement and character. Wedge managed his share of underachieving teams, and even more underachieving players (Travis Hafner, 2008 Franklin Gutierrez). It's safe to assume he knows the drill.

During his press conference, Wedge remarked how the current Mariners are much farther along in the rebuilding process than the 2003 Cleveland Indians team he took over. That team was far better offensively than the Mariners are (not a hard thing to do when Michael Saunders isn't swinging at every breaking ball in the dirt). The current Mariners hold a clear edge in starting and relief pitching (even counting Ryan-Rowland-Smith, who hopefully will be getting a one-way ticket on Qantas Airlines).

For what the Mariners lack in offense, they come close to making up for it in young, explosive arms. It's safe to assume M's GM Jack Zduriencik will ship off some of those arms this offseason for a couple bats.

If all goes well, Wedge should have enough to at least bring the team back to .500 baseball. Wedge comes off as someone who is pretty intense, and won't put up with any of the crap the divisive Chone Figgins pulled last year under Wakamatsu.

While Wedge doesn't have the big ticket appeal of Bobby Valentine, or the sentimental value of Joey Cora (still seems odd to me that he didn't even get an interview), he is only three years removed from having the Indians one win away from the World Series.

And if that's not enough, Wedge looks 62, not 42 (the mustache doesn't help). He also gets points for raiding Dwight Schrute's closet, and for being Tom Niedenfuer's twin brother who was separated at birth.

Madness

Mad Men's fourth season began with Don Draper avoiding answering questions about himself from an Advertising Age reporter. It ended with Draper still refusing to address his own personal demons.

In between, we bore witness to a man seemingly intent on self destructing. Draper dapples in S&M, functioning alcoholism, and even stooping to a level he previously denounced - bedding the secretary (he took down two).

Season Four as a whole is arguably the series most in-depth and well rounded. I could go on way too long, detailing every episode. But I'll spare you.

What's driving me nuts is Sunday night's season finale. The episode starts with Don in bed, telling his new woman, Dr. Faye Miller, that he has a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. The lovely Faye encourages Don to come to terms with his past. The scene ends with a typical Draper make-out sesh, followed by him telling Faye that he's going to miss her while he's in L.A. with his kids.

Next thing you know, Draper is in L.A. with his kids, and defenseless secretary number 2 - Megan. And what d'ya know? Draper yet again seduces her. (Or maybe she seduced him with that french lullaby she used on his kids?)

Flash forward to Draper's West Village Bro Pad. Draper's in bed with the French seductress (and her oversized veneers). Out of nowhere, he tells her he loves her and proposes!

So Draper the hypocrite (remember Draper's disgust when the Silver Fox married his secretary?) continues to hide from his past. The French seductress is slightly smarter the Betty, but nowhere near as intelligent as Faye. (She's a doctor after all. But not a real one, according to Don).

Just when you think Draper is making major strides in his life, he goes ahead and does something ridiculously stupid.

I lay the majority of the blame for this abomination on Betty. If Betty didn't possess the maturity of a 10-year-old, then Carla would have joined Don and the children to L.A., as planned.

Does that mean we'd be looking forward to a Don and Carla wedding for next season? Hmmm...

Regardless, the finale was as shocking to me as last season's Dexter stunner. I keep telling myself this has to be a dream. But my Sopranos plot twists don't carry over to other series.

Faye (who coincidentally played Chrissy's wife on The Sopranos) was such a great character. A strong career woman who challenged Don is only good ways. Why does she have to leave Why? Why? Why!!!!!!!

What do you guys think?

Postseason Picks

I'm just getting ready to head out to the Safe for Game One of the ALDS...

Oh wait. My grandiose delusions have gotten the best of me once again.

Regardless, the 2010 postseason has the makings of something special. On display will be five of the best pitchers in the world (Roy Halladay, Tim Lincecum, Cliff Lee, CC Sabathia, David Price), along with four of the best rookies to come along in some time (Buster Posey, Jason Heyward, Neftaili Feliz, Aroldis Chapman). And what would the postseason be without the New York Jankees?

Here are my quick picks for Octember.

ALDS

Rays over Rangers - The Rangers have been a chic pick to go all the way. Since when did chic mean a iffy pitching staff after everyone not named Cliff Lee? Keep in mind that the Rangers went 21-6 in June and were a .500 team the rest of the way.

Yankees over Twins - Yes, the Yanks starting rotation is a mess after CC. But that lineup doesn't quit and the Twins starting rotation is no sure thing. Carl Pavano and the Yankees don't mix.

NLDS

Phillies over Reds - This will be quick and easy. Halladay. Hamels. Oswalt. Unless Johnny Cueto starts kung fu fighting again and takes out Ryan Howard, Chase Utley and Jayson Werth, this series will be over in 3.

Giants over Braves - The Giants will ride the trio of Lincecum, Cain and Sanchez in what should be a classic 5 games series.

ALCS

Rays over Yankees - The Rays are too balanced to lose this series. They don't have the Yankees offensive firepower. But their pitching, speed and defense will be too much for the Bombers.

NLCS

Phillies over Giants - Another classic in the making. While the Phillies hold a slight edge in starting pitching, there is a huge discrepancy between offenses. The Giants don't have any game changing sluggers, and Buster Posey is untested in the playoffs.

World Series

Phillies over Rays - A repeat of the 2008 Fall Classic. And we'll have a repeat in the results. Again we go back to the Phillies vaunted starting 3. It's too much for any team to handle. Even Brad Lidge can't screw this up.

Those classy Phillies fans will be puking all over each other with their second World Series title in three years.

Shattered Dreams

Wake up, Mariners fans. Your nightmare is over. Six months of the most god awful baseball one could imagine is thankfully kaput.

Even the most pessimistic pundits couldn't have imagined the Mariners crapping out another 101-loss albatross. The simple explanation for this disaster is that everything that could have gone wrong, went wrong. The hitters didn't hit. The relief pitchers didn't pitch. Don Wakamatsu didn't manage. Needless to say, the Mariners 2010 campaign is the most confounding season I've ever witnessed as a sports fan.

Rewind (as I did yesterday on my DVR) to the Mariners final game from last October. The magical 85-win season was capped off by a victory lap/Griffey lovefest that left every person in Safeco Field confident that the Mariners were headed on the right track. For the first time since Lou Piniella, the Mariners had a competent manager. Even more impressive was their new general manager, Jack Zduriencik, didn't insist in signing his name with crayons, or trading for players that peaked in 2003.

The prevailing thought was if the M's could make a few tweaks, they would add 5-10 wins t0 the 2009 total. And if that could happen, then you're talking playoffs. Good times, indeed.

So with that in mind, all Zduriencik did was trade spare parts for Cliff Lee, arguably the best pitcher in baseball at the time, coming off a memorably dominant postseason with the Philadelphia Phillies. Then Zduriencik shrewdly signed the pesky Chone Figgins away from the division rival Anaheim Angels of Tarzana. On paper the Mariners had the best 1-2 pitching combo in baseball with Lee and Felix Hernandez, along with the top two leadoff hitters in baseball at the top of their lineup in Ichiro and Figgins. We were well on our way.

Zduriencik addressed the hole in left field by trading Carlos Silva, his bloated contract, and his even more bloated waistline to the Cubs for Milton Bradley. Sure, Bradley was batshit crazy, but he also led the AL in OPS in 2008. From a talent perspective, this was like trading Jason Mraz for Billy Joel.

While the M's let 2009 home run leader Russell Branyan walk, citing his chronic back problems, his replacement, Casey Kotchman, appeared to be a much better contact hitter than Branyan. And like Branyan, a player who seemingly just needed a chance to thrive.

The only other notable defection from the 2009 squad was Adrian Beltre. But Beltre missed over 50 games in 2009 with a myriad of injuries. My personal fave was his stint on the 15-day DL for a "severely bruised testicle". While Beltre's glove proved invaluable, his .683 OPS didn't seem like a big hurdle to overcome.

The offense was never touted as a force. It didn't need to be. With the stellar pitching and defense from 2009, all the Mariners bats needed to do was put up 4-5 runs a game. It seemed so simple. Until it wasn't.

Well, we all know what happened next. In short, it goes something like this.

-Cliff Lee got hurt
-Eric Byrnes turned in arguably the worst month in baseball history
-Milton went crazy
-Junior took a nap
-Junior went on a permanent road trip
-Lee got traded
-Figgins tried to fight Wak
-Wak got canned

The only players on the entire roster who performed up to expectations were Felix and Ichiro. Call it bad luck. Call it bad personnel moves. Call it whatever.

The fact of the matter is there was a 2010 baseball season. The Mariners just didn't bother showing up for it.

I've heard people talk about how winning and losing are both contagious. After witnessing the Mariners 2009 and 2010 seasons, I'd say I agree with that statement. Taking that into consideration, it's pretty clear that the 2010 Mariners had a raging case of herpes.

Going Solo

I've long hoped that disgraced Grey's Anatomy cast member Isiah Washington would return in a cameo appearance to methodically gun down every blubbering character on that joke of a TV show. (Coincidentally enough, I'm told such a scenario, sans Isiah Washington, took place for this past season's finale. The gunman didn't kill any whiners though. So no luck there).

While watching Sunday night's Entourage Season 7 finale, I found myself hoping for Isiah Washington to bust through the door, guns blazing, only to put a fulfilling end to a completely unfulfilling season.

Entourage has gone from being a bro's answer to Sex and the City to a bra's answer to Grey's. Entourage is now a 30 minute melodrama that features more cameo appearances than The Love Boat.

Things have gotten so bad that Billy Walsh, once the most maddeningly obnoxious character on the show (actually Dom was worse), has become the lone bright spot.

Season 7 started with Vince having an on-set stunt accident, and ended with him in a hospital, badly beaten (by Eminem no less), in denial about his burgeoning drug problem, and possibly facing jail time after a cop finds his cocaine filled goody bag.

Literally every episode this season was so painfully bad that it became laughable. Real-life pornstar Sasha Grey as Vince's love interest? Turtle desperately trying to hawk tequilla for the affection's of A.J. Sopranos ex-fiance? Ari becoming a pariah for being Ari?

It's almost like the show's writers are purposely trying to see how stupid they can make the each episode.

Even Bob Odenkirk, who so masterfully plays sleazebag lawyer Saul Goodman on the phenomenal Breaking Bad, has gotten sucked into the Entourage abyss as Mark Cuban's... business manager? (Sidenote: Why does Mark Cuban all of a sudden have a Texas accent? He's from Pittsburgh.) (Additional Sidenote: Cuban should have been banned from TV shows following The Benefactor. This speaks volumes as to how far Entourage has fallen).

In 1986, Dallas answered for a dud of a season by saying it was all a dream. While fans were understandably upset that they wasted an entire season on nothing, they were glad the show had returned to it's winning formula.

Hopefully Entourage Season 7 is Vinny Chase's bad dream.

That's really the only explanation to a season that featured a Jordan Farmar cameo. Because at this rate, Fat Lever's phone could be ringing for a Season 8 guest spot as Turtle's new love interest.