Bonjour...again

When the Seattle Mariners acquired Erik Bedard from the Baltimore Orioles in February 2008, a friend who I consider to be a very honest Mariners fan summed up Bedard with the following remark: "He's French-Canadian". The implication being that Bedard was an asshole.

Early reports on Bedard made my friend look more honest than John Mayer. (Pretty sure Mayer has some sort of verbal diarrhea disorder). Hailed as the pitching savior to a Mariners team that somehow won 87 games in 2007, Bedard was every bit the asshole my friend said he would be.

Compounding matters was the fact that Bedard would ask out of games after 100 pitches, and the entire Mariners organization was functioning on about the same level as Charlie Sheen's home life.

To top things off, it was looking increasingly clearer that the Mariners made one of the most lopsided trades in history when they sent future all-stars George Sherrill and Adam Jones, along with top-rated pitching prospect Chris Tillman to the Orioles to acquire Bedard. (Such a haul of talent is now known as "A Bedard Package").

The one silver lining was that when Bedard was healthy (rarely), he was incredibly effective. At one point last year, I wrote that the Mariners should consider signing Bedard to a long-term contract and trading Felix Hernandez (not my best idea).

After Bedard's 2009 season ended in August due to surgery to repair a torn labrum, most people assumed Bedard's days in navy blue and northwest green were over.

Fast forward six months and the Mariners have undergone their second consecutive Heidi Montag-esque roster overhaul. And to the surprise of many, Erik Bedard is back.

Give M's GM Jack "The Genius" Zduriencik even more praise. Signing Bedard to an incentive-laden 1-year contract at $1.5 million could ultimately be the coup d'etat in this bullish free agent market.

When Bedard returns at full strength, he will immediately become the best third starter in baseball. Bedard transforms an already formidable starting rotation into a potential postseason nightmare.

The low base salary makes the Bedard re-signing look even better. Oakland just gave Ben Sheets - a pitcher just as likely to breakdown as Bedard, $10-million guaranteed.

So in the past two weeks, The Genius has spent $2.45 million total on Bedard, outfielder Eric Byrnes and first baseman Ryan Garko.

To put that in perspective, the special needs child who previously held the title as Mariners GM spent $54.9 million on Double Stuff Silva, Carl "gays being gay is wrong" Everett and Rich (roider) Aurillia.

The trade that brought Bedard to Seattle was foul from the day it went through. But if Bedard can help the Mariners reach their first postseason in almost a decade, it will go a long way to making the trade look less lopsided.

Here's hoping Bedard isn't a connard in 2010. (That's asshole in French).

Believe Big

In what has turned into the baseball offseason equivalent of starring in a trashy reality TV show, and becoming an overnight sensation (Snooki, "The Situation"), the Seattle Mariners winter of content continues to get better and better.

Mariners general manager Jack Zduriencik (I'm about three weeks away from referring to him solely as "The Genius") set out to build upon an 85-win ball club that greatly overachieved in 2009. All Jack Z has done is trade for a Cy Young winner, lock up a perennial Cy Young candidate for five years, sign one of the best on-base guys in the game and shed all of Carlos Silva's 262 pound Double Stuff Oreo frame. The only thing missing is that Jack Z didn't devise a plan to install beer taps at every seat in Safeco, and offer free Auntie Anne's jalepeno pretzel dogs at all home games.

The buzz around Seattle regarding to 2010 Mariners is on par with a "Twilight" movie opening. Fans aren't just counting down the days until Opening Day. They're making plans to head to Peoria to watch the M's in Spring Training. They're buying season tickets like it's the Folklife Festival. And they're devising a highly complex, expertly detailed plan to stalk Ken Griffey Jr. throughout the season (Ok, that's just me).

In a city starved for sports success, the Mariners are poised to quench that hunger in 2010.

Meanwhile, the reigning AL West champion Los Angeles Angels of Disneyland have lost their best hitter (Vlad Guerrero), best pitcher (John Lackey) and leadoff man (Chone Figgins). To counter the defections, the Angels brought in an aging DH who hasn't played more than 143 games in a season since 2005 (Hideki Matsui), and a pitcher who reclaimed his career in St. Louis and was rewarded with an $8-million/year contract. If that latter part sounds familiar, it's because the Mariners did the same thing in 2007 when they signed Jeff Weaver. Since the M's would have been better off putting 8 million $1 dollar bills in a pile, dousing the pile in kerosene and lighting it on fire, the Angels should feel real confident about Joel Pineiro.

Joel Pineiro? Seriously? The Mariners acquire one of the best pitchers in baseball, and the Angels counter with Joel Pineiro? That's like showing up to your 10-year high school reunion with the girl who peaked at 16, and acting like nothing has changed in the 12 years since. (That orange tint she sports from the tanning beds is natural).

The organizational overhaul that Zduriencik has presided over is remarkable. From the top to the bottom, Jack Z has hired the best and brightest, all while instituting an expectation to win.

The Mariners have the best pitching in the league. They have the best defense in the league. They have the best bullpen in the league. They have the best manager and the best coaches in the league. And with the recent acquisitions of Eric Byrnes and Ryan Garko, they have the best bench in the league.

Sure, the M's don't have a potent offensive attack like the Yankees. But the offense is good enough to put some runs on the board.

I'm reluctant to make any bold prediction for 2010. And with the rest of the baseball world starting to notice what's taking place up in our little northwestern corner of the country, it's hard not to buy into the hype.

After all, the 2010 Mariners have won zero games so far. But I've been a Mariners fan my entire life, and I've never been this excited for a team to get on the field.

April 5th can't come soon enough.